Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for May 11, 2022

Calvin will get the message sooner or later.

I hope that wasn’t one of Dad’s clients.

When a telemarketer calls.

In another telephone-themed strip, Calvin pulled out the cord and said — as if speaking to the fourth wall — “it’s never for me and I hate taking messages.”

How to deal with a telemarketer . Tom Mabe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOvXxnSEQKY

Boy wonder

Where can I get a phone that jumps in the air every time it rings ?

They have crazy electronics in that house!!

What other appliances dance in mid-air when in use??

“The person you are trying to reach is not available…”

I should try that.

♫♪

Comic boys just seem to find out early

How to hang up phones with just a click.

♪♫

The reason I’m so glad that we have caller ID, so we can know when to ignore the phone call!

caller would not hear clickthough really how does the phone jump in the air???

That was good!

I wish I had recorded that as a kid.

I want that app but with the voice of Batman. Any of them.

Every sales call that I get is a want… I provide a need that eventually everyone will have a use for. I listen to all of them patiently, then I PITCH THEM. When they hang up, I call them back…numerous times!

We all did that as kids, right?

Probably not that important anyway.

Wish I could do that at work sometimes

What did Calvin do this time?

One of my neighbors had a phone number that was one digit different from the local pizza place, and so was always getting some derelict misdialing and trying to order a pizza. He got so tired of trying to tell them they had a wrong number that he started taking their orders. And then he’d hang up the phone and laaaaaaugh….

But they were going to tell you that your auto warranty is about to expire…

“Thank you for calling the wrong number. How may I help you?”

Ooo, savage.

Dweeb.

I always love the thought of doing something like this, but it’s a better use of time just to ignore the call altogether.

I once did the opposite of this, though. My voicemail message was:

“Hello? Hello? Hellooo? I can’t hear you. Probably because I’m not actually on the phone. Leave a message.”

Lots of people laughed. My mom hated it and often left messages saying “When are you going to change that?” When I called her back I’d remind her that I had said nothing to indicate I intended to change it at all.

A very long time ago, I was working nights and had just about fallen asleep when the telephone rang. I never answer now, but I did then. A voice of an elderly lady asked to speak to Mildred. I told her that sorry but she had dialed the wrong number. She said very indignantly that she had NOT dialed the wrong number, I was ANSWERING the wrong number and she wanted to speak to Mildred. It took me awhile to come up with an answer, but I finally said that Mildred was not here. She then hung up. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep after that, but thankfully she did not call back.

Well, you just missed out on a chance to get a free estimate on a new roof and windows.

My favorite answer message was

“Hello….(long pause)…I think you have the wrong number “click”

Hope that wasn’t Dad.

you have reached Marty’s refrigerator. Marty’s answering machine is broken so, if you’ll speak real slow I’ll write down your message and put it on me with one of these magnets.

But maybe your car warranty really IS about to expire….

I remember doing that to telemarketers! And what kind of answering machine makes a “click” noise rather than “beep”?

I always answer my phone by saying, “Aloha.”

My friends, family, and locals respond, but telemarketers don’t know what to do and hang up.

Sign of the times. My smart phone does that for me automatically now.

I’m sorry I can’t help you, please hold while I transfer you to the dialtone.

A long time ago when voice message machines were in vogue, I recorded a long "greeting’, went something like this: “beeeeeep This is a test of the National Emergency Broadcast System. In the next thirty seconds you will be tested on your ability to leave your name, phone number and a brief message. Remember, this is only a test. If there were a real emergency, WE WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU.”

Right way to handle that ‘Calvin’ ……….unless it was an important call for you Mom or Dad ! ! ! !

I don’t answer the home phone unless expecting a call, like the A/C repair guy to let me know he’s on the way. Most of the scammers don’t bother with a message.

Jeremy in “Zits” said to leave a message after the fraap. Then he farted into the phone and hung up.

This is one of my absolute favourite comics of all time. And I’ve actually used Calvin’s line on a caller!

Works for me!

That could be one way to get the phone solicitors off your back. (If only!)

One of my friends has a message with a slight delay before she says, “Hello” in a distracted manner, followed by another pause. It’s just enough to make you think you are talking “live” rather than hearing a carefully prepared message. So, you start talking in a conversational manner before she says you should leave a message. I never get used to it.

Genius