The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for October 15, 2022

Some mistakes are best left buried

and a tall, flat chested woman

You don’t have to tell all your thoughts, Brutus.

Bite your lips, Brutus.

Brutus, make sure that your brain is in “gear” before you “engage” your mouth!!

;-)

I think his life just flashed before his eyes.

Best friend, large house, wonderful family, large gasoline bill even though I ride the bus, I’m sure he was thinking one of these.

Dreams rarely come true, but you really went out of your way to make reality a nightmare.

It’s the little things in life that can make you happy.

Small women? I’ll bet there is a certain PART of women he didn’t like small.

♒((⇀‸↼))♒

Is cars a euphemism for something else?

Open mouth, insert foot

But she is big.

and an even smaller wife… :Dwhat, I tried to make things better.

Buster? But My name is Brutus, Shirley. Going ahead – step on in.

Like the Tom Waits song: ♪ “Warm Beer, Cold Women” ♪

Just remember a couple of things Brutus, “Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” Proverbs 21:23 and she is bigger than you…

Even I’m smarter than that!

The Born Loser lost again. No saving yourself from this one.

Trying to think of a humorous way to greet my wife on the phone, the first words out of my mouth were, :“What’s shakin, bacon?” She took it personal, seeming to forget how much I absolutely love bacon.

Brutus buddy, this is what makes you a born loser….think before you speak!

I was at Church a few weeks back attending the Ordination to the priesthood of one of my former students. A woman was standing behind me taking pictures of the event. I’m 6-3 so when l heard her her taking pictures l just ducked to let her get better shots. I turned to apologize to her for blocking her shots and was saying so until I saw her. It was then that l saw her and saw that she was a good 6-6 tall, trim and very attractive woman in her late 30s. She was taking pictures over my head. I said l don’t need to apologize and we had a good laugh. In a different day and life, l would have made a move on her and would love to have played a little one on one on the court. Nothing wrong with having a woman taller and bigger than you. AND she shouldn’t be ashamed of her size. She is what she is as God made her.Her personality is another situation entirely though….

“Mother-in-law! I was going to say Mother-in-Law!!!”

Some men like a challenge.

When I was a (young) teen, any adult woman or even older teen I might fantasize about was bound to be taller than I was. Even years later, if I imagined meeting a woman I’d seen on TV or in a magazine, I had to remind myself that by now she was likely to be shorter than I was, in contrast to my larger-than-life fantasies. Interesting that Brutus had fixated on small women at that young age, before expanding his options!

Looks like she forgot to shave this morning.

Now, hold on there, Gladys. He might’ve been going to say tall or even buxom. Either of which could be complimentary.

And a Luxury model???

it’s really better to think things through in one’s head before saying it with one’s mouth. (i should adhere to that more often)

Brutus, try ending your remark with, " a big beautiful woman". Who knows, she may buy it.

Irony? “I swear there ain’t no Heaven and I pray there ain’t no hell” Blood sweat and tears. One of my favorite examples of irony!

I hope Kewpie enjoys the company.

Surely, she knows she is taller than he is. Surely, he should learn to not think out loud.

I imagined wearing the pants …

he’s happy now that he’s got a lot to love…

“I ended up with a small car, and a BIG mouth.”

Only Brutus Thornapple would consider telling that story to his wife’s face. Everyone else would tell that story behind their wives back.

That’s ‘good for you shorty’.