Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 01, 2022

Rudolph’s not getting paid enough?

Rudolph’s drinking was getting out of control (What, you thought the red nose got that way through magic?)

Change the sign from “GIVE” to “MUGGED”.

A crime that will go down in history.

The assailant was last seen traveling with an elf dentist and a prospector. :-D

It could be a Reindeer Initiation Prank.

Better ask Olive, the other reindeer.

Reindeer gone wild.

He gave.

If you think he’s bad, you’ve never met Redolph the Rude-nosed reindeer! http://howlandbolton.com/videos/Redolph.mp4

No Santa’s are safe, they all look alike to reindeers

It was Comet. He framed Rudolf so he could be in the lead and not looking at reindeer rears.

“He literally was a striking resemblance to W.C. Fields.”

It all went down one foggy Christmas Eve, that’s all Santa came to say.

I don’t know, officer, it’s all very foggy.

If you think about it (per the song) Santa was a terrible manager. He let the other reindeer bully Rudolf all year and never intervened. Then when it got bad (foggy) he manipulates Rudolf into saving the company’s bacon and all the brown-nosing reindeer jump on that parade. How much do you want to bet that they were back to bulling Rudolf the next day and Santa never addressed the serious issue of workplace harassment? (And let’s not even start with the labour force issues with the elves. Bet OSHA never even got in the front door of that workshop).

The result of childhood bullying

No-one is safe anymore , sad but true : (

Don’t blame Rudolph, he just gave in to deer pressure.

Rudolph just got wise and turned biggly corporate for a few of somebody’s billionaire friends. Why should they not get those donations meant to help those who in a fair and decent and gasp! dare I say truly Christian society would have their needs met to give them a decent basic life by that society if they were not able to get their on their own? Those dollars were simply being wasted on “suckers and losers” who have been dumb enough to have served or worked their whole lives as TFG will happily tell you. It is the new Trickle Up economy. Try it! You will soon see how Society can gain from your generosity. That would only be Society and never society of course but that is a subtle difference the suckers and losers could not be capable of understanding. Love those undereducated!

The Night Santa Went CrazySong by “Weird Al” Yankovic

He ain’t playing no games here now, is he? Word!

Wiley gives this street corner a pretty good workout. Sometimes there’s a cafe, sometimes a fancy restaurant, sometimes a bar.

WHAT ?!!

Bad Santa.

The true story of Rudolph, as written by Bob May a copywriter for Montgomery Ward is about his own childhood as the only Jewish kid in the neighborhood & how he was bullied for that.

Name all 9 reindeer.I’m betting that’s tougher than you think

The there’s Alfred, the Red A$$3D antelope.

He had a very shiny A$$

And, if you ever saw it

You would say it’s made of brass

Santa eventually asked him to be his back-up light.

Like a light bulb?

The last time I played Father Christmas I stood outside a department store. A gang of kids came over and mugged me. And knocked my reindeer to the floor. They said “Father Christmas, give us some money. Don’t mess around with those silly toys. We’ll beat you up if you don’t hand it over. We want your bread so don’t make us annoyed. Give all the toys to the little rich boys.”

My memory gets a little Kinksy after that.

Santa Claus got run over by a reindeer. That could be a song! So could “Santa Claus got ron ocer by a carabou.”

It wasn’t Rudolf, it was Keyser Sose.

….when the drinking gets out of hand at a stag party.

Rudolph Heisenburg.

Random attack by an animal identified as a “high jumping reindeer” in what has been called a “not-so-random targeting of street Santas…” more from Randal Rifkin at News Central.

You do have to wonder what makes a “nose so red”. We do know what it was with W. C. Fields.

This reminds me of the recent news story which tells of a Thai monastery that was closed down after all the monks tested positive for “meth”. Changing times.

Oh, come on, gored by a famous reindeer – what next!!??

It has been like this ever since someone fed Rudolph some Pot Brownies.