Pickles by Brian Crane for December 26, 2022

It’s not the Christian way to dislike a family that you don’t even know Opal. Just cause there’re a little more successful.

Me either. I get those letters, and we are all in our 80s. Now it’s the grandkids who are over achievers. Mine aren’t, I should write about that.

what an intriguing life the Hendersons lead which makes the Pickles’ life seem rather dull

The Hendersons are best friends with the Palmquists

We used to have relatives like that who would send out their Christmas newsletter every year.Seemed like they were always bragging on their accomplishments and such. I responded back in detail howmundane my lifestyle was and they eventually stopped sending me that stuff I never liked to read about.

The Hendersons will do it for the benefit of Mr. Kite.

Seasonal bragster bulletins.

The mail person delivered to the wrong address again.

At my age I am just happy when the cards I send do not return to me labeled “not at this address, cannot forward” because that means either the person is dead or in a memory care unit. This year almost every letter we got was not a brag letter but a health bulletin. But the good news is at least we are all still breathing!

Don’t forget: the Christmas letter is the Liar’s Poker of literature.

Jealousy does not wear too well on you, Opal!

Could be worse, I got a card from my in-laws and they are not doing well health wise.

should have checked before you opened the mail, Opal!

All this time I thought it was the Jones’ we had to keep up with.

We’re currently iced in at our farm. Yesterday we got a call from an old neighbor that some one had gotten stuck at the end of our road. So, my wife and I walked out a half mile to see if we could do anything.

There we found a lady, who had just lost her husband. She wasn’t really dressed for the weather. Her car had been trapped in the driveway by the ice and she was walking back to her apartment. I carried her shopping, while my wife held her arm over the icy patches. She cried about how she was alone now that her husband was gone.

We got her back to her apartment and wished her a Merry Christmas. That’s about all we could do. Not sure if I even got her name.

So, maybe folks should feel a less jealous of those who’re doing better than they are and have a little sympathy for those who have less.

Oh, how people love to brag! It would be a good thing for Opal if she threw that “newsletter” in the round file and forgot them.

We all have a “Hendersons” Christmas newsletter!

When I get those kind of letters, I am tempted to write back saying that my daughter is a prostitute, my son is a crack-head and my ex is in prison for murder, but i resist, hate to get them jealous. My ex and kids are actually successful, just I love to push other people’s buttons to show their arrogance. lol

Wow, what reactions! It’s just a wife “venting” to her husband. I don’t consider it jealousy. As for me, I enjoy getting updated on my acquaintances once a year and am happy for their successes and sympathize with their troubles. I send pictures of my 2 grandkids with their ages and main activities (sports, ballet, etc.) every year and always get positive comments. Merry Christmas, everybody!

Yeah I feel your pain. My daughter’s a hooker and my son is doing 10 to 20 for dealing meth. Merry Christmas!

About half our “cards” are Shutterfly pictures of grandkids shoved in an envelope with no personal message.

If I were so inclined to write one of those Christmas bragging missives, all it would say is:

“Well, we all made it through another year without killing each other. We’re all relatively healthy, in spite of Covid-19’s best effort to prove otherwise. None of the kids or grandkids got arrested, divorced, or tossed out of school and the bank and creditors haven’t repossessed anything. All and all, it’s been a pretty good year. Merry Christmas!”

HERE WE GO AGAIN. GOCOMICS AI HAS BLOCKED MY COMMENT WHICH CONTAINS NO NEGATIVE REFERENCES ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING AND NO PROFANITY. REALLY GETTING TIRED OF IT.

WENT TO SITE FOR COMMENTS, ENTERED FEEDBACK, HIT POST . . . MESSAGE SAYS URL CANNOT BE FOUND. DIRTY POOL. SHAME ON GOCOMICS EDITORS.

We don’t do letters in cards. A brief note with good wishes is about all and maybe a photo. As a commenter above noted, when folks are retired or very senior or both, life doesn’t offer a lot of scope for adventure. Health becomes a natural focal point for conversation. Unfortunately, it sometimes becomes the only point, which depresses both writer and reader. Just go with it and be happy those folks are still up to cards and letters.

I also agree that the ‘no longer at this address’ returns are not good to see. Makes me wish I had done more phoning or visiting and less waiting until holiday to remember distant friends

Just edited the first refused comment into the two above. First para was accepted without problem. Second was only accepted after I dropped the term ‘undeliverable’ about returned mail labels. Be interesting to see if this one is accepted.

It was but putting those 2 terms in a sentence is a no-go. Weird.

Actually the Hendersons live in a doublewide and hubby is jobless. Wifey works two jobs and takes in laundry. The kids are in the reformatory.

Just because they got titles doesn’t mean they’re happy.

Try using Cousin Eddie’s from Christmas Vacation:Eddie: “Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic, getting cured off the Wild Turkey. And, the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career.”Clark: “College?”Eddie: “Carnival.”Clark: “You got to be proud.”Eddie: “Oh, yeah. Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl. He thinks that maybe next year, He’ll be guessing people’s weight or barking for the Yak woman. You ever see her?”Clark: “No.”Eddie: “She’s got these big horns growing right out above her ears. Yeah, she’s ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. And, a hell of a good cook.”

Kris Kobach graduated from Harvard, Yale, and Oxford, I wouldn’t trust his legal opinion of the directions on a bottle of shampoo.

I think they need a new MAILMAN

Wait till summer to reply with a thank you.

I love that! I agree Pickels I don’t like these, oh look at me ain’t great my life is better than yours people

The Hendersons would never make a good comic strip.

When you are successful, shout it from the rooftops.

(Or sit back smugly silent like Opal does.)

For people I know well, I don’t send a card. We get together regularly and know what is going on in each other’s lives and families. A few people are far away now, and then I will send a card if we are not on phone very regularly. This year I sent 8 cards, and I am proud of that small amount. I don’t even send to my own child, as I see her as often as I can, and we talk whenever we can. Some people make almost a career out of keeping a long list and sending cards to just about every person they have ever met. When I got married fairly young, I started a Christmas card list mostly based on my guest list. I have slowly altered and changed the list.

I never minded getting the Christmas “newsletter”, but I always prefer to get them from someone I know.

She’s not very nice.