Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 18, 2023

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    BasilBruce  almost 2 years ago

    Whenever I watch “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” I always wonder why they don’t just go in the tent and arrest him.

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    BE THIS GUY  almost 2 years ago

    …or elevens

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    ronaldspence  almost 2 years ago

    Old joke, funny joke!

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    B UTTONS  almost 2 years ago

    Pig will have to rough it; but being a conscious soul, he’ll leave no trace.

    He pack out what troubles he packs in.

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    syzygy47  almost 2 years ago

    If that bothers Pig, he’s two tents.

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    leopardglily  almost 2 years ago

    Ba-dum-crash!

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    carlsonbob  almost 2 years ago

    Stakes? No, we’ll just have hot dogs and chicken.

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    Cornelius Noodleman  almost 2 years ago

    ?stnet

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    Imagine  almost 2 years ago

    Camping is in tents. Very in tents.

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    Zykoic  almost 2 years ago

    An old sleeping bag can spoil a camping trip.

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    enigmamz  almost 2 years ago

    Maybe try a big name store, not play it cheap at the generic "camping store’?

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    mr_bill_10  almost 2 years ago

    These 3rd-grade-level puns used to be (thankfully) few and far between, but are becoming more common – several in the last week. Hopefully Pastis just had an off week, and this does not indicate that his creativity has waned.

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    iggyman  almost 2 years ago

    Good thing he did not want 2, then he would be too tents (tense)!!

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    Doug K  almost 2 years ago

    It’s hard to find customers that are not so easily offended.

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    zerotvus  almost 2 years ago

    Don’t get a Coleman stove…….

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    kucpa Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    A guy sees the psychiatrist. He says, Doc… I keep having theses recurring dreams. One night I’m a teepee, the next night I’m a wigwam. Every night the same thing, what’s my problem? Doc says, that easy. You’re two tents!

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    Goat from PBS  almost 2 years ago

    Maybe next time use Amazon.

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    Ellis97  almost 2 years ago

    What does your emotional state have to do with anything?

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    colddonkey  almost 2 years ago

    Maybe should have offered to tip, seems most everyone thinks they’re entitled to at least 15% now.

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    Droptma Styx  almost 2 years ago

    You kind of opened up that line of questioning with the “need to relax” opener.

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    dziner88  almost 2 years ago

    Many of my friends enjoy camping trips, but I’ve gotten to the point where they can drop me off at the nearest resort and pick me up on their hike out of the woods…

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    ChrisRiesbeck Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    My favorite variant is the camping store sign “Now is the season of our discount tents.”

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    Newenglandah  almost 2 years ago

    Old joke: A man goes into a therapist’s office. He says “Doc, you have to help me. I’m a teepee! I’m a wigwam! I’m a teepee! I’m a wigwam!”

    The doctor says to him “first, you have to calm down. You’re two tents!”

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    uthor  almost 2 years ago

    Are they in a camping store?

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    artegal  almost 2 years ago

    A guy goes into a psychiatrists office. He says, “Doc, I one day I think I’m a teepee, the next day I think I’m a wigwam. What’s wrong with me?”

    The doctor says, “That easy. You’re two tents.”

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    ladykat  almost 2 years ago

    I am tense about sleeping in tents.

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    Snolep  almost 2 years ago

    “None of your business “ seems a remark more in character with Rat than innocent, sweet tempered Pig.

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    sarah413 Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    I can’t seem to face up to the facts

    I’m tents and nervous and I can’t relax

    Don’t touch me, I’m a real live wire.

    Psycho Killer.

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    CaveCat87  almost 2 years ago

    Like I said, a lot of this kind of trouble would be avoided if anyone bothered to be specific about these things when talking to Pig. For instance, the guy could have just said “Would you like some tents?” instead of just “Tents?”.

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    Zebrastripes  almost 2 years ago

    I agree with PIG ‼️. There is NO customer service‼️

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  31. Calvin gots an idea
    marshalljpeters Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    I generally only use one tent when I go camping.

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    198.23.5.11  almost 2 years ago

    MR.FIELDS:Costello will never be able to do it.His brain is too tense.

    ABBOTT:Too tense?

    MR.FIELDS—Yeah.Two-tenths the size of a normal brain.

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    skysoxwiz  almost 2 years ago

    Blind man swinging dog around in department store….“no, I’m just looking around!” Can’t remember(or better not try) the one about the hairlip buying camping equipment ad infinitum…

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    gmu328  almost 2 years ago

    some people get tense with a salesperson looking over their shoulders

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    Radish the wordsmith  almost 2 years ago

    Now is the winter of our discount tents.

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    KEA  almost 2 years ago

    can’t stand a pup tent for two… it’s two in tents.

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    proclusstudent  almost 2 years ago

    Camping the guy who was running a “the World is ending Real Soon Now” on a specified date scam? These have been going on for over 1900 years.

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    willie_mctell  almost 2 years ago

    In a Max Schulman book the protagonist was meeting his college advisor. The advisor had some leather shoelaces in his hand. He showed them to the kid and asked, “What are these?” The kid replied, “Thongs.” The advisor beamed and said, “You’re welcome.”

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    cmxx  almost 2 years ago

    This brought back memories of ancient elementary school, when my teachers often required complete-sentence answers.

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    Ceeg22 Premium Member almost 2 years ago

    Oh, I’m passed tents

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    Buoy  almost 2 years ago

    Did he get the boot? Oh, no, looks like he is barefooted.

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    LilPeruna  almost 2 years ago

    ‘Tents?’ ‘Oh, I’m WAY past tents!’

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    JasonBall  almost 2 years ago

    He just did this exact joke on December 27th, 2022.

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  almost 2 years ago

    Pig’s literalism doesn’t quite work here.

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    Sisyphos  almost 2 years ago

    Yikes, Pig! Are your ears clogged with bacon grease so that you can’t tell apart tents and tense?!

    Or should we just blame Cartoon-Boy, as usual?

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    Birdman47  almost 2 years ago

    Doing it tough in tents builds character.

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    Wizard4168  almost 2 years ago

    Reminds me of a story I heard years ago. A woman was trying to buy a sextant (For those not familiar, it’s an instrument used in celestial navigation.) as a birthday gift for her nautical enthusiast husband. When she asked a clerk at a sporting goods/outdoor store if they sold sextants, his embarrassed response? “We just sell tents, ma’am. What you do in them is your business.”

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    Swirls Before Pine  almost 2 years ago

    These days the only camping that I still do is to attack my opponents as soon as they spawn.

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    Sailor46 USN 65-95  almost 2 years ago

    Almost as hard as finding good customers.

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