Pickles by Brian Crane for February 14, 2023

Learn something new everyday. Right Earl.

Nor try to boil water in it.

hard boiled wasn’t cooked enough for ya?

have fun cleaning up

You ever try microwaving a grape? I didn’t know fruit could do that.

Don’t dry the cat in it.

Now have you learned the lesson to clean the Microwave before Opal gets home?

This is true: I once picked some fresh broccoli, rinsed it as usual, put a little water in the dish, then microwaved it for a few minutes. When I opened the door, a small spider was crawling around inside, apparently unharmed. Was it the one that went on later to bite Peter Parker? (—

And you’d better clean it up! NOT leave it to dry on and wait for your wife to do it.

Put aluminum foil in it and really learn something!

Some things are best learned when someone says something like, “Hey, microwaving an egg doesn’t work.” Everything in life doesn’t have to be seen for yourself.

If the third panel is any indication, Earl may also learn what the cost of a new microwave may be!

Did you know you can cook a roast in a few seconds. Just set the oven to “clean”.

I have taken boiled eggs out of the fridge and zapped them for about 10 seconds to take the chill off. It’s okay as long as you don’t go too long

SERIOUSLY.????

Life lesson: Don’t skip breakfast. Have an emergency bag of popcorn handy.

Happy Valentines Day y’all!

I had an egg poacher designed for the microwave. Which is to say it has a blast cover on it. Doesn’t poach very well. The difference between raw and vulcanized is 4-5 seconds and the cover is opaque.

That’s not all you’re going to learn when Opal sees that mess.

Most of us learned that over 40 years ago when we got our first microwave oven.

Some learn from the mistakes of others. But some must stick their own knives in their own toasters.

Thank you, Earl, for a lifelong lesson and that is always being a student, no matter how old a person is, in a classroom that’s always there.

I cook scrambled eggs in the microwave. And bacon.

You can’t beat a boiled egg.

Or, Nelson has learned that… If you want a hard boiled egg to explode? The microwave will do it!

Earl never learns…LOL❤️

Better run away before Opal see the mess!

But did you?

I mentioned somewhere, yesterday, that we so rarely use our microwave, it has become our bread box for storing fresh bakery bread and rolls.

I once witnessed a young line cook in a restaurant I worked at in college satisfy his curiosity with a raw egg in the microwave.

The blast ()which I heard from back storage) blew the door open, shattered the glass platter on the bottom, and dented/cracked the bottom as if someone had unhinged the top and swung a sledgehammer at full arm’s length to smash the microwave’s floor.

The guy’s final paycheck almost paid for the new microwave. (Personally, I thought losing the paycheck would have been enough punishment, but they sacked him anyway.

Just?

You don’t do that. You don’t put a raw egg in there either.

I once learned that, if you let the pot stay on the lit stove after you’ve forgotten about it, hard-boiled eggs will explode in a saucepan, not just in the microwave.

My Grandfather had to have his coffee just boiling …… even his oyster, lobster or sea food stews boiling ………….. I remember one time being at a restaurant, he ordered oyster stew …. the waitress brought it out and he asked her to take it back and heat it up more ….. she did, brought it back and asked if it was hot enough, he answered to try again and put it closer to the heat …. she took it back …… he said to us, that he bet it would be hot when it came back …… well, after several minutes she came back holding the bowl with pot holders and set it down …. it was just rolling …. she put it down, he took his spoon and took a scoop and put it in his mouth …… she asked if it was alright ….. he looked up, smiled and said “Just right” ……. she shook her head and disbelief look and walk off ….. :)

After reading all the comments I’m hungry. I think I’ll make a microwaved egg for lunch.

I’ve finally found a method that works (as long as I pay attention and don’t let it cook 3 or 4 seconds too long).

I micro melt a large pat of butter for about 30 seconds in a shallow plastic-ish microwaveable bowl (those white ones from Dollar Tree that are stocked next to the baking pans and utensils). Then I crack an egg into the hot butter. I mix a Mini Moo of half and half (one of those shelf stable individual coffee creamer things – real milk). With a fork I mix the cream with just the egg white then I poke the fork once into the egg yolk. Zap for 20 seconds, stir the white. Zap for another 20 sec, then carefully flip the egg over, sometimes the yolk breaks – then I just lightly mix it with the white. If the yolk is mixed in with the white another 10 or 20 seconds will finish the egg (check after 10 seconds). If the yolk is still basically intact another 20 secs (check at 15) will finish cooking the white and the yolk will still be mostly liquid.

I seriously doubt that a hard boiled egg would explode. A raw egg on the other hand would. Back before I knew that eggs raise cholesterol and contribute to cancer and heart disease, I used to break an egg into a cup, whip it with a fork, add a dab of butter and nuke it for less than a minute. Best ever scrambled eggs!

A raw egg (in its shell) will be even messier.

Ping Pong balls can make a mess in the microwave, too. I tried to pop dents out of a couple that way once. Fortunately I was able to get it cleaned up before Mom got home.

Big loss there..

Take the boiling water out of the microwave and before pouring or adding tea bag, instant coffee, hot chocolate powder or anything else, take a step back and ease a metal spoon, fork or knife into the cup. It diffuses the un-bubbles. If melting butter, use a lower power setting, I usually use 2, then depending on how much butter is being melted, set the time.

Nelson probably thinks that was pretty cool.

Bill Nye the Science Guy, Earl is not!

Who remembers this pre-YouTube video from either the late 90s or early 2000s? Be forewarned of profanity and grotesque graphics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn4fq3ZfWG4