Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 20, 2023

Pig, turn off notifications when you sleep.

I have to leave my phone on all night for work and it is hard to believe the number of people still texting at all hours!

People on Krypton prayed “Please make the world go away”, and it did.

The problem with that prayer is that the world is where we live, do you really want that to go away?

Some of the people living in the world, yes; but the world, no.

Now I lay me down to sleep, so DON’T CALL ME!

I always turn mine off.

If you turn your phone off, it won’t beep!

My cell phone lives 4 rooms away on its charger. And the land line (remember land lines?) handset is now set on the office-spot chair before I go to bed. Because the dam‍nable “Medicare Department” starts calling at about 7:15 am and keeps on calling about an hour apart for several hours. Every. Single. Freaping. Day.

The phones are too powerful to “just turn off”

I sleep in my bedroom and leave the phone in another room so I can’t hear it ring.

Me too, Goat.

And this is why you turn off notifications at night.

Turn it off turn it off, the world is yours again.

Set “Do not disturb”, turn off notifications, and set your phone to silent.

Imagine there’s no cell phones

It’s easy, fa la la,

No apps to haunt us

No social media

I leave mine in another room, then it can beep all it wants and I will get the messages the next day!

Airplane mode, problem solved!

My upstairs neighbor’s vibrating notifications in the middle of the night kept me up, so I had to move my bed to the living room. Then my water heater broke and my landlord had to fix it in the day when I was at work. Working near my bedroom he must have heard the phone and confronted the neighbor about it because I soon noticed they were much more muffled. Saved me from having to confront the neighbor myself. After telling him about his kids who stayed up one night to run, jump and laugh for an hour after a late party, I was all confronted out.

That’s no phone-y prayer, Pig!

Could be worse. The Count’s has a rooster crow rather than a beep.

Android? If you have someone who needs to get through in case of an emergency, set them as a favorite contact, set your do not disturb, and go to bed. The only one who can get through to me is my 97 year old father in law, the sister in law who lives with him and my daughters. Since the latter three work, they’re all in bed by ten anyway so no emergency? No texting. No noise.

I used to have to fall asleep with a similar prayer. Then my daughter taught me about do not disturb mode!

No sympathy Pig, if you let your phone run your life.

On Over The Hedge they are complaining about the opposite.

Three words: Turn it off.

no phone, no worries.

Turn your phone off, silly critter.

REALLY coulda used that prayer a couple years ago, woulda saved me a LOT of stress during my last hospitalization at rush then, NOT THAT having “crippling” leg pain for the “millionth” time wasn’t ALREADY stressful enough……Dan aka….

My phone beeped Sunday morning about 4 am. It was Hilton wanting to know how my stay was going!

Amen!

My phone sets itself to “Do not disturb” from 11 pm to 9 am.

Set it to music, and it’s the start of a good hymnal.

You can turn them off?

Curses to the cells and electronic devices that have ruined society!

Ture Facts

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word

And never mind that noise you heard

It’s just the beast in your phone

On your PC, in your ringtone

I always put mine on vibrate.

I’m not trying to be nitpicking here… but I find it highly amusing that the replies seem to be giving advice to a cartoon character. I’m chuckling. Thank you all for making my morning cheery. :-)

Blasphemy…

Make the world go away

And get it off my shoulder

Turn off the phone, pig

No need to do anything to your phone. Just don’t answer a beep once you’re in bed. It’s good practice for breaking that Pavlovian response. If it’s an emergency it will be a call.

Easy fix, my dear piggy: turn off 99% of notifications and MUTE YOUR PHONE! I NEVER turn my ringer on unless someone I know plans on calling me.

@stephanpastis : you missed a syllable there, guy.

Now I lay me down to sleep,I pray my phone it does not beep,I can’t take more bad news today,Please make the world just go away.

Yesterday, upon the stair,I met a man who wasn’t thereHe wasn’t there again todayI wish, I wish he’d go away…

When I came home last night at threeThe man was waiting there for meBut when I looked around the hallI couldn’t see him there at all!Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door… (slam!)

Last night I saw upon the stairA little man who wasn’t thereHe wasn’t there again todayOh, how I wish he’d go away…

Mark this day down! Pig’s ears are at the same level in 2 consecutive panels.

A useful prayer.

Put it in “do not disturb” mode.

For me, it’s the “Someone else’s phone is driving me nutters and I wish to ************************** they’d shut off all their ************************* alarms since they rarely use even one” prayer.

This is a really, really great prayer! I’m going to steal it!!!

An evening prayer for our times, according to Pig….

Not a problem for me. Old fashioned flip phone.

Ever thought of turning it off?