Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 24, 2023

Love hurts…

“Here’s My Heart” by Pat Benatar.

he lost his heart, at least it wasn’t broken!

What if she doesn’t return it; and, and makes soup?

Of course, giving your heart to the wrong person can be a problem, too.

Looks like the heart on the queen’s box for Snow White, but it turned out to be a pig’s heart.

If I only had a heart.

I left my heart in San Francisco… ( Tony you’l be missed )

She’s a Heartbreaker as Pat Benatar sang!

Not as gruesome as the heart stealing scene in Temple of Doom.

This is why I don’t do romance.

Do you actually know her Pig? You say she SEEMS all these things, but do you actually know her to love her?

“I teleported home one day // With Ron and Sid and Meg. // Ron stole Meggy’s heart away // And I got Sidney’s leg.”

I have never been one to believe in having your heart stolen away, or the concept of love at first sight. But in truth it did indeed happen to me twice in my life. At the first sight of my newly born daughters.

Wrong heart.

After I thought about it I concluded that love is the genuine concern (involving thoughts and actions) for the wellbeing of another.

Never trust a big butt and a smile.

My wife stole my heart 36 years ago. It’s alright though, I have visitation.

If you’re ever down in Mobile, be sure to look me up.

If you’re ever down in Mobile, be sure to look me up.

If you’re ever in Atlanta, tell Lucille to go to H*ll.

Women make a fool out of me

Gorgeous Ann❤️Eiffel sighting… ;)

Even worse, the very next day, she’ll give it away.

She’s not the problem, Pigs feelings for her are.

Unrequited love is a painful thing.

I know the feeling Pig.

I’m with Pig. I do not think that people can steal other people’s hearts.

That’s the reason I limit my interaction with donut shops.

She’s an easy lover. She’ll take your heart but you won’t feel it.

Not a good sign.

“She seems to have an Invisible Touch, yeah,

She reaches in, and grabs right hold of your heart.

She seems to have an Invisible Touch, yeah,

It takes control, and slowly tears you apart."

I thought Pig’s slot was in the back.

“I send my sinuses to Arizona,

I send my liver to Peru;

I send my lungs and my kidney for the summer to Sydney,

But I’m sending my heart to you…"

—George Carlin (R.I.P.)

When your heart’s on fire You must realize smoke gets in your eyes. (The Platters)

♫ She’s deadly man

And she could really rip your world apart ♪

American woman, get away from meAmerican woman, mama let me beDon’t come a knockin’ around my doorDon’t want to see your shadow no moreColored lights can hypnotizeSparkle someone else’s eyesNow woman, I said get awayAmerican woman, listen what I say-ay-ay-ay

The undefinable “Way.”

Catch it! Quick!

Have you ever heard the song” Last Christmas?”

That would be an oopsie! Love hurts….

It could be worse. Pig could be in the country music song, “She ripped out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.”

Especially because it requires ripping your heart out