Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 26, 2023

Earplugs

Now there’s someone who likes to make an impression on men.

Get him a c-pap for an anniversary gift Nancy! Beats a ball-peen’

Breathe-Rite nasal strips might be a marriage saver!

Nancy, you need to get to sleep first so you don’t hear his snores.

some women say I snore, others that I don’t. It seems I snore when I’m not that happy with that partner.

RAT! Stay out of neighbor Nancy’s bed. You are to bother neighbor Karen.

He’ll snore no more!

I have no idea if I snore, since there is no one there to complain.

Bang bang Nancy’s silver hammer came down on his head……….

I feel sorry for my aunt. Her husband snores so loud I’m pretty sure if I sat outside they’re house at night, I’d be able to hear him. Literally, I’m not even joking, and I don’t mean sitting right at the window, I mean like, a good 10 feet from the house.

My uncle used to share my bedroom when he visited. He snored so loud (I kid you not) that he often woke himself. Which is why he became my problem: My bedroom not only had two twin beds, it was far from the rest of the bedrooms.

First night, he told me to wake him if it bothered me. So I did. But he got back to sleep before I managed, and I was kinda nervous about trying again. The next night I brought a squirt gun to bed. And used it. Several times. My mom, his sister, was horrified. He did the right thing though and told her he’d given me permission to do it.

The night after that (months later, on a different visit), he got a hotel room. Win win, as far as I could see.

PS: He was, despite the snoring, my favorite uncle. Lots of good stories to tell, and smart as a whip.

That’s unusually perceptive for Pig.

Answer: Separate bedrooms. On opposite sides of town!

The only thing better than falling asleep snuggled up to someone you love is to wake up next to the warmth and weight of their body.

Snoring can be the world’s most beautiful music. Ask any widow.

My hubby’s snoring is a comfort to me. It helps me sleep knowing that he’s near. He makes me feel safe. (Married 21.5+ years.)

Most snoring can be eliminated by using Those nose strips that open it up. I snore horribly – except when I got bed wearing one of thoseIf you have never tried them, you should

Wouldn’t a pillow over his face take care of this?

Be like me, when I fly on a plane the flight attendants wake me up, I guess I snore too loudly!

A hammer is a bit drastic I think!

Moved to a mobile home with wife and two adult daughters. Daughters moved out and we tried separate bedrooms, turns out we both liked it. Daughters now back but will be moving again soon. Wife said she will be glad when we have separate rooms again. I replied, “Me too.” I asked her the following morning if that means that, after 35 years together, the honeymoon’s over, she said, “Yep. We had a good run babe.”

I don’t need marriage to tell how much I love someone. Just being together is enough for me.

Let me be

Your sledgehammer.

Hey!

I sleep with noise-cancelling headphones

Studies show couples who sleep in separate beds and share time in a bed when awake have longer, happier relationships. It is easier to get along with anyone after a good night’s sleep; no need to wake up annoyed with your partner for interfering with your rest.

Uhh, happy tenth, Hammerin’ Nan?

Hey, 10 years is still a milestone. Well done.

You take the good, you take the bad, …

I hear you, Neighbor Nancy…

I never snore. I know this for certain because I’ve never heard myself do that.

Or makes a stinky bubble and pulls the covers over her head.

My BFF and I are both widows and we travel together. We’ve discovered that having 2 beds in hotel room doesn’t work – we keep waking each other up with our snoring. Getting 2 hotel rooms and getting a good night’s sleep is a small price to pay.

Both my late husband and I snored, so we cancelled each other out.

So do these women know that there are others?

The answer probably lies with a good ENT surgeon . open up the sinuses, remove the uvula,Shrink the soft plate. Yeah, there are good safe effective ways to solve a great deal of snoring problem’s.Better than hammer therapy! Or a break up.

The loudest snorer I met was overnight at the Powell hut on the Kepler trek, New Zealand. He kept 40 people from sleeping

Check back in 10 years to see if she gave in to her impulses.

An oddity, my late wife complained about my snoring. I could tell by having a dry mouth, for which I kept a water bottle by the bed. She passed last year and after reading this strip I realized I don’t hardly snore as much. New BF moving in next week, see what he has to say

Pro tip to the gentlemen: don’t ever tell your wife she kept you awake with her snoring. Even if the noise is shaking the plaster out of the ceiling. Just get earplugs.

CPAP

I read many years ago that if married couples were able to sleep in separate beds/rooms, that most marriages would last a lot longer. Worked for my spouse and I.

" Oh! If I had a Hammer !! " … :)

“Mama, get the hammer. There’s a fly on Papa’s head…”

~ Homer & Jethro

Duct tape.The answer to everything.

My first sleep apnea test … couldn’t fall asleep … my second, after she started sleeping in another bedroom, no apnea nor snoring. Sadly, cancer and the Lord had taken her.

Before I moved in with my wife, it was my waterbed! Now my side is on top!

How appropriate, I’m pretty sure the 10th year anniversary gift is hand tools.

The bed is most definitely not really the best part of a good marriage, though it should be important. The real answer has to be the friendship between the partners…..

After 10 years of angry wake up 5x a night and a sleep study a Dr said no fixing him, he has a “stacked neck” and will snore like a Rino forever. Separate bedrooms have led to 33 blissful years so far.

That would…um…certainly take care of the problem…

I know exactly how she feels in that last panel; however, I decided many years ago, it was better to simply move to the other room while he was sleeping rather than be in prison for murder. Since I was always first up, not entirely sure he ever noticed I was gone!

Solution: separate beds in separate rooms. It works every time.

get rid of the bed then

If Nancy worked harder, she would be exhausted and sleep through the snoring…