JumpStart by Robb Armstrong for November 12, 2023

Especially the lovely fires dry ones make in the house.

Those votes don’t count until they can actually confirm they’re voting as opposed to signaling for a fresh diaper.

Do the right thing… Kill a tree.

(It’s OK if the live tree came from an Xmas tree farm and was grown specifically for this holiday. Let the trees in the wild be if possible and let them grow tall.)

Its a tie! Who gets the deciding vote?

Oh Mortimer raise your hind leg if you’re in favor of a real tree.

Get a fake tree made of recycled plastic and reuse it rather than throwing it out.

The “cue the suspenseful music” panel could also be used after the twin vote to build up the suspense to see how Mortimer would vote…

How can a real tree be better for the environment ? When you cut it, it stops producing oxygen and it has to go to the landfill? Our family has literally used the same Christmas tree for over sixty years! They were built to last back the !

Buy a live tree with its roots intact, and plant it after Christmas, is a great alternative. But they are $$$, and not practical if you live in a rowhome..

Looks like it’s a tie.

Why do they only have four fingers?

When I lived in Texas, I had a yaupon in a 15 gallon pot which served as an Xmas tree until it finally got too big and I planted it in the yard. Evergreen leaves and red berries, very nice.

well then… who’s gonna break even then. :\

How to break the tie?

Does Sunny realize that you don’t throw away your fake tree when the holiday ends? You collapse it and store it in the hall closet or attic or wherever you keep your Christmas decorations. You can use the same tree for literally decades. I know real trees are grown on farms for that purpose so they aren’t contributing to deforestation or anything, but an artificial tree is basically an appliance that you only have to buy once and use for about a month out of the year.

I guess Mortimer is the tie-breaker…

You could make a fake tree out of recycled trees. Win-win.

It’s a three-three tie. Now what?

Walk me through your logic Sunny, how is cutting a tree down yearly better for the environment than getting a fake one you’ll use for years? Like my family only had to replace the one we had for like 20+ years because it was physically breaking.

One post-Christmas, back in the day, my dad dragged our dried-out tree into the back yard, gathered all us kids, told us he wanted to show us something, and put a match to it. It essentially went “PHOOM!!!”, and left nothing but charred twigs (and our mouths hanging open) in less than 30 seconds. Then he turned to us and said “Get it?”, and we all just nodded in shock.

Message received and noted. Thanks, Dad!

Ha! And the great debate begins!

I love how lefties just automatically blurt stuff out without any facts to support it. Fake trees last an average of 10-15 years and can last longer. We had two trees over the course of our lives and no longer put up a tree because our kids are grown and we live in a shoebox (figuratively). My son has asthma and real trees gave him attacks.

Aren’t real trees only better for the environment if you leave them in the ground? You go and chop one down and then after Christmas you haul it to the curb. I mean, I guess you could use it for garden mulch which isn’t bad. But an artificial tree you don’t throw out after only one use.

Looks like a tie to me. Ask Mortimer to cast the final vote.

I have two lovely ornamental iron 7-ft “trees”. They are easily assembled and disassembled, take hardly any storage space, and my cats don’t try to climb them or eat the branches. I string lights on them and the ornamental “branches” are perfect for hanging ornaments. I never liked the fake trees that are supposed to look like real trees. They never really do and from what I gather from folks I have spoken with, they need replaced every few years or so because they look shabby. Storage is a problem for them. Real trees are lovely and I love the smell, however, I have always had cats my entire adult life. Cats LOVE to climb the real trees and also chew on the branches. I would prefer my ornaments not get broken and my cats not get sick from eating the tree.

We switched to artificial after Lindy’s third trip to the vet with a bellyful of needles.

I bet Mortimer votes for a real tree too.

I’m not sure how cultivating and disposing of hundreds of thousands of trees every year is better for the environment. You buy an artificial tree and it lasts decades.

Real trees are better for the environment only if they’re left alone, out of doors and not cut down.

Real trees smell better, but the after-Christmas cleanup is a pain

My husband grew up with only artificial trees (and we are both seniors) which surprised me when I first went to his (parents") house for Christmas (again, I am Jewish so never had one). As he explained it, it related to his mother being a fuss budget about cleaning and the real trees leaving too much of a mess.

First year we were married we were still going through that “period of adjustment” and were not actually living together – he was living with his parents. So Christmas tree of any type was bought for our apartment. I felt bad that he would not have one – as a substitute I bought 2 large pieces of brown oak tag and painted a fireplace on one and a chimney on the other, put them together and tied them to the back of a kitchen chair (placed in our living room. So when he came over on Christmas Day to take me to his parent’s house for dinner his gifts were in front of the “fireplace”.

By the next Christmas we were living together and bought an artificial tree and ornaments. We had that tree for about 30 years. When we bought a replacement tree I had an idea. I have an excess number of teddy (and other bears) who mostly reside in what we call "the teddies’ room. I asked if he could make a stand for the top small tree section of the old tree and we could move part of the (excessive) bear ornaments on to it and put it their room. We did so. By the following year he insisted I put it out at the top of the stairs where it could be seen from downstairs.

Next improvement was the start of my teddy bear village. Some of the bear ornaments who could stand were placed around the tree, as well as some families of bear figures I had. A ladder was added and the teddies would be decorating the tree – some on the ladder. He decided that the village needed a tree which was in proportion and we bought a small tree.

The village has grown and grown. We hated every year to take it down. It dawned on me that the same bear musicians who played for the caroling could play at the gazebo (a bird feeder from a craft store) in the summer for a concert.

Since then the bear Christmas village has become a year round thing being changed 11 times during the year (Christmas and Valentine share January). Latest thing I added was to take two tiny Christmas wreaths, turn them around so the ribbon is not seen. Also have small artists’ easels (two artist bears paint in the park in summer). The bears are sitting on chairs and the ground and some of the soldier bears are placing the wreaths on the stand for the Memorial Day Service.

This is a terribly silly thing – but we both like it. And during the early days of Covid when we could not go out – we could go and visit the bears in their village.

Husband had commented before that year that he wished he could actually walk around in the village. I made two bears from felt with armature in them so they could stand, sit, etc. One of the bears has his hair and one has mine. So now “we” are always in the village.

For November the reenactor bears – pilgrims and native Americans – will set up their large pumpkin house next to the Teddy Village Hall (craft store bird house in the right shape) and talk with the bears living in the Village about life in the 1600s.

And so on during the year!