Pickles by Brian Crane for March 05, 2024

Time for Roscoe to update his will. He could let other dogs know where the bones are buried.

The oncologist told me two years ago that my median time until death would be about 7 years. Looking into US demographics, folks in my category and age had a median time until death of about 10 years. He went on to encourage me by trying to explain “median” (telling me what I know)… and saying that I was “otherwise very healthy”. This year, though, he’s telling me that it’s 5 years. I’m not HAPPY to hear that, of course, but I did have to chuckle at how well the math worked.

Seems a bit on the low side. My experience has generally been about 12-14 years for family dogs that died of natural causes, but it can vary greatly from breed to breed. My cousin has a Saint Bernard who recently died at age 6.

We’ve had our cat 12 years and we think he was two when we got him, so he’s getting old. He’s showing signs of weakness, but he can still climb fences and roam the neighborhood.

More trauma for Nelson.

If my older brother didn’t shoot them, our last dog lasted 21 years!

Roscoe is a comic strip dog. They can live decades.

From Not Always Right: Ask Any Dog Owner: It’s Never “Just A Dog”

When I was eighteen, my parents came into the cafe where I worked to tell me that my dog (sixteen years old) had to be put down ASAP. They organised for me to have a break to say goodbye and be there while she passed.

Boss: “I need you to come back right after. We’re short-staffed!”

I came back. I was sobbing serving people, trying to make coffees, and begging for the rest of the day off when [Boss] loudly stated:

Boss: “It was just a d*** dog!”

Several people got up and left after giving me their condolences. One of them (a regular) made a comment to [Boss] on the way out.

Regular: “There don’t seem to be many people to serve now.”

[Boss] still didn’t get the hint.

NOT my story, but I have outlived several dogs and a few cats……

♪♫ She was just sixteen but that’s a hundred and twelve in dog years

Had three good legs and a couple of raggedy flop ears

She slept down town in a suitcase lined with fur

Lookin’ around for a mysterious dark haired cur ♪♫

.

♪♫ Delta dawg what’s that collar you have on…

could it be the kind that rubs a dogs neck raw?

And did I hear you bark

As you limped off towards the park

To find the dirty rat that shot your pawwwww… ♪♫

Sometimes it’s better not to know.

Roscoe’s eyes say that he understood that conversation.

I guess it depends on the breed. Dogs and cats should live between 10-20 years. It’s so sad that they don’t live as long as we do, so we have to say goodbye at some point. I have lost so many kitties over the years and it always tears my heart out but I wouldn’t ever be without a kitty if I could possibly help it.

Poor Roscoe, always the underdog…soon to be the underground dog! :D

please, not while he’s eating…

Our chihuahua mix and pomeranian are 14/ 16 and are just now getting cloudy eyes and hip problems

Thanks for ruining Roscoe’s meal, Earl!

I’m looking for a cartoon that seems to have disappeared. It was so profound that I put it on my Facebook page September 3 2023 so it must have originally been published around then. Earl is telling his grandson that when he was young all of his heroes were cowboys like Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, etc. The grandson asks, “who are your heroes now?” Earl answers, “anyone who shows compassion for others.” Does anyone know where I can find that? I looked through most of 2023 and can’t find it.

Roscoe didn’t need to know that.

Roscoe doesn’t appear to be too happy about being on death’s doorstep.

Awwww! ☹️

I had a cat that lived 17 years, more or less

Roscoe’s wee face;

Why is he eating in the living room?

It’s a good thing he doesn’t understand ENGLISH…… or DOES he..?

Don’t worry, little one. As long as Brian Crane is around, you’re all safe. Maybe even longer if Brian has a cartoonist take over for him!

Turn out the lights, the party’s over!

And Roscoe was having such a good day.

Roscoe, you’ll probably live a few more years.

Our first dog was a mixed breed who rooted through the trash and drank out of the toilet. She lived to be 17.

God created the dog and said: ‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’

The dog said: ’That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’

So God agreed.

God created the monkey and said: ‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.’

The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’

And God agreed.

God created the cow and said: ‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’

The cow said: ’That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’

And God agreed again.

God created man and said: ‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.’

But man said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’

‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Earl can be such an idiot.

Roscoe’s fine look how fast he responded to that comment!

Wow Earl good job of scaring the heck out of Roscoe.

I just looked it up—Pickles debuted on April 2, 1990. So depending on how soon Roscoe was introduced, he’s coming up on 34.

roscoe’s look “GASP!!!!!”

When I was about 12 years old, I got a hamster. I was told he would live about 3 years. I had him about 5 years.

Maybe he lucked out and received the Lazarus Long gene.

And men live about 75, more or less…

ruh roh

Cats live about same time but fewer die of natural deaths. Many cats live a high-risk lifestyle, often out of choice.

another downside of being a dog-lover… one is devastated at least every decade or so

Varies according to breed/size.

We had a cat with bad allergies — the tests showed a long list. Dang if she didn’t live to one month short of her 22nd birthday.

Roscoe’s expression lol

The smaller the dog, generally the longer the lifespan. If Roscoe is a beagle, he is very obese and sadly, Earl could be killing his dog. My beagle is 13, and still working as a therapy dog in a hospital. She is very lively, and we usually walk 5 miles a day. These days, we do need to take slightly shorter walks than in the past, but our total is still usually 5. My last beagle lived to be just slightly short of 16 years old. She was deaf, but still loved to walk. She was also going blind. I have told all my dogs that if they live to be 16, I will let them drive. At 18, they can vote. So far, I have not had to hand over the car keys, but I recently left my dog in the car for a minute or two and when I got back in, my car flashed that there was a “theft attempted.” Maybe she was practicing.

All our dogs lived longer than that. Our first one was 16 years old and we’d gotten him when he was four months old. We got our second dog when she was two years old and had her 15 years. Our last one lived the shortest though. She was only 12 years when we had to put her down and she was a year when we got her.