Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 23, 2024

I thought the zebra might be the defendant, wearing a striped jail uniform, but the briefcase is on his side.

A zebra defending a crocodile? One of them is not going to be around much longer.

Maybe three of them won’t be around much longer. . . . Judge Wiley Bear looks pretty pleased with what he sees before him.

Can the judge enforce a gag order on a hippo?

I object!!!

It’s more likely to be ‘lore’, meaning what denizens of the jungle have been brought up with, rather than ‘law’ as imposed by legislation. Come to think of it, most animals in the wild (and indeed elsewhere) can’t read – they just know what is right …

“All rise…………………. Judge Wileybear presiding………………. This court is in session…….. You may be seated.”

Only one of those is a jungle animal. And the alligator is the wrong color, as usual.

The animals may be wild, but they’re all about a fair trial.

By the look on the judge’s face they are all dead meat unless they abide by the law of the jungle i.e get the eff out of there!

Nature read in tooth and law.

♪Welcome to the jungle, it’s worse here everyday, you learn to live like an animal, in the jungle where we play.. ♪

I don’t see a kangaroo so everything is fine.

What? No jury of his peers?

With a Wiley Bear as judge, I foresee at least one death penalty. For whomever is tastiest.

The bear reminds me of a judge I once knew. He loved harassing people with a big smile.

Ah, let a Wiley bear be the judge!

There’s no justice in the Jungle.

Lunchtime must be a free for all…

Law of the Jungle (as pertains to wolves) [2nd Jungle Book, Rudyard Kipling, 1895]

“NOW this is the law of the jungle, as old and as true as the sky,And the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die.

As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk, the law runneth forward and back;For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.

Wash daily from nose tip to tail tip; drink deeply, but never too deep;And remember the night is for hunting and forget not the day is for sleep.

The jackal may follow the tiger, but, cub, when thy whiskers are grown,Remember the wolf is a hunter—go forth and get food of thy own.

Keep peace with the lords of the jungle, the tiger, the panther, the bear;And trouble not Hathi the Silent, and mock not the boar in his lair.

When pack meets with pack in the jungle, and neither will go from the trail,Lie down till the leaders have spoken; it may be fair words shall prevail.

When ye fight with a wolf of the pack ye must fight him alone and afar,Lest others take part in the quarrel and the pack is diminished by war.

Carnivores on 2 sides. Verdict? Rabbit and client are toast.

That witness is a croc!

They can begin now, the refreshments…ah, Defendants… just arrived.

Shout out to Pearls Before Swine? Croc vs Zebra neighbor

Facing the judge, the plaintiff and counsel typically sit at a table to the right, or nearest the jury.

The Zebra is the plaintiff and the rabbit is his or her attorney.

Weird jungle, Apes, Crocs, Rabbits, Zebras, &Bears.

The only thing frightening is how the judge was appointed

I forget the poem about Jungle Law that Kipling wrote. I’ll have to find the Jungle Book and read it again.

Now would not be a good time for the rabbit to ask to approach the bench.

Animals DO have a stronger adherence to the Laws of Nature. They die sooner if they don’t.

The monkeys stand for honesty

Giraffes are insincere

And the elephants are kindly but they’re dumb

Orangutans are skeptical

Of changes in their cages

And the zookeeper is very fond of rum

Zebras are reactionaries

Antelopes are missionaries

Pigeons plot in secrecy

And hamsters turn on frequently

What a gas, you gotta come and see

“At the Zoo” Simon and Garfunkel

When they pass sentence will they say, “See ya later, alligator?”

Interesting way pay your lawyer.

“Now, it was for the sole purpose to get again, because [lawyers] received their wages according to their employ, therefore, they did stir up the people to riotings, and all manner of disturbances and wickedness, that they might have more employ, that they might get money according to the suits which were brought before them; therefore they did stir up the people…”

“The first thing we do, let’s [eliminate] all the lawyers” – William Shakespeare, Henry VI, Part 2, Act IV, Scene 2.

That is one big rabbit.

The humor is somewhat diminished in juxtaposition to current political lawfare.

The losers get eaten.

A water spout, also known as a rain spout, downspout, or leader, is a pipe that runs down the side of a building to carry rainwater away from the roof gutter.

Shades of the (Kipling) Jungle Book. “By the bull that bought me,”

I wonder if they use it to persecute their political enemies like Biden does?

Wait a minute – Zeeba neighbor suing Larry (Croc) in court?

A Barrister Bunny!

A case of stolen identity. A crocodile pretending to be an alligator. Or is that the other way around?

The difference between humans and the rest of the animal kingdom is much thinner.

The January 1974 issue of the National Lampoon contained a very long, erudite, and learned (but of course completely fictitious) article, by Henry Beard and John Weidman, on The Law Of The Jungle. It dealt with such issues as conflicting jurisdictions. IMHO a brilliant article, perhaps matched only by Joey Green’s account of the product liability case of Wiley Coyote v. Acme Corporation in the NatLamps for August, September, and October 1982. (I thought that the latter was much much better than a similar one in The New Yorker some years later.)

“I give you now Professor Twist, A conscientious scientist. Trustees exclaimed, ‘He never bungles!’ And sent him off to distant jungles. Camped on a tropic riverside, One day he missed his loving bride. She had, the guide informed him later, Been eaten by an alligator. Professor Twist could not but smile. ‘You mean,’ he said, ‘a crocodile.’” —O. Nash

Where is the orange baboon?

Bears do not live in jungles. they like to be near pizza