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My first outing as a PR writer was for the local ham radio club. We had just been awarded a club call sign that had been that of a deceased member who had been a doctor at a famous clinic.
I researched him, read his obituary in the newspaper files, and write something. But it seemed too short. So I interviewed some of his friends and his widow. Turned in a press release one and a half pages long, filled with info and pithy anecdotes. Then, I waited for the article to appear in the paper.
This is what they printed. (I have it memorized.) āThe FCC has awarded the call sign of W____ to the R_____ Amateur Radio Club. The call sign had been that of Dr. C_______ W______, who had been a consultant at the M___ C_____.ā
āDearest Diary: What a fortuitous joy to discover that folks for hundreds of kilometers around Milborough have flocked to Gordoās Garage to fight for the treasures in his backyard! Yes, junk dealers and antique shops are willing to pay FAR above asking price for rotting artifacts, because Gordo has the approval of my parents and the benefit of my friendship. Museums far and wide were clamoring for the hidden delights, masked by layers of dirt, dead leaves and Inca ruin-type vegetationā¦. Because museums ALWAYS have the deep pockets and large budgets necessary to acquire the forgotten nuggets of Canadian history that have been dragged from the prairie and shuttered in backyards all over the Great Lakes region! Dame Fortune has dropped her riches on me and my friends once again. Iām sure that Gordo will now have the funds necessary to build a shining new store-frontā¦ with my parentsā help, and not to mention my own brilliant literary prose, of courseā¦ even if I did have to endure the indignation of having my thoughtful and insightful musings truncated and mutilated for the average Canadian reader. Stillā¦. Perhaps Gordo will drop me 50% as a ādiscoverer feeā? After all, if it wasnāt for us Pattersons, Gordo would still be hiding in our garage and falling off the porch. So, onward and upward! Hail, Dame Fortune! ā Faithfully submitted, Michael Patterson, Esq, GJA (genius journalist-author)ā
āDonāt knock the opportunityā. To sell off junk, perhaps. To lock oneās self early on in life to a business that leaves little or no time to enjoy life in general, perhaps not.
Gordon and Mike walking and hugging like Gordon and Tracey used to do. Pink handkerchief on the left side. Subtle Lynn Johnston. When opportunity knocks, donāt knock the opportunity. Well said Gordon. Donāt need that 5th panel to know what happens next.
Lynn Johnston said that Gordon was the non-Patterson character whom she received the most hate-mail about. I would have thought that honor was for Anthonyā¦
Michael is in jail. Rhetta is visiting with two small children
Guard: Mrs. Patterson? Sign the log, please.
Something catches Rhettaās eye
Name of Inmate: Michael Patterson
Name of Visitor: Martha McRae
Visitorās center. Pattersons are at a table. Michael is scruffy and long-haired, now wearing a prison uniform<i/i>
Rhetta: I saw her, Michael.
Michael: Saw who?
Rhetta: I saw her name in the log book. You want her to come to visit you? Good. Then let Martha McRae sneak this crud in for you every week! Rhetta pulls some food out of her jacket and flings it angrily on the table Let Martha McRae stay up all night crying and writing letters to the Crown. Let Martha McRae smuggle this in! Rhetta holds a plastic bag of pills and dangles it out of Michaelās reach Let her do it, Michael!!
Michael: Rhetta! Stop it! You are making a scene. I am in jail. I canāt stop people from coming to see me.
Rhetta breaks down crying
Rhetta: Nobody is helping me, Michael. I am all alone. Lawrence has HIV. Gordon and Tracey are broke. I went to see your friend Brian about the money he owes you and you know what he said? He told me to take the kids down to the police station and get on welfare!
Michael: That is what happens when you go away. Now look, I know a guy from Montreal and he struck a deal with me that when I get out we will start bringing guns into Canada from the US.
Rhetta: I am scared, Michael. What if John finds out?
Michael: Forget John! Is he helping you? Is he putting any food on your table? Of course not, you are not a sports car. Right now, we just have to trust each other.
Rhetta: I donāt want to hear her name again, Michael.
snsurone76 9 months ago
And the publicity should drum up additional business for the garage. Gordo, you owe Mike BIG time!!
Kiba65 9 months ago
Rightly said Gord, rightly saidā¦
charliefarmrhere 9 months ago
In Canada, is a donation to the local museum usable as a tax write off?
Baslim the Beggar Premium Member 9 months ago
Gordon is perhaps the character I most admire in this comic. A most sensible person.
Uncle Kenny 9 months ago
My first outing as a PR writer was for the local ham radio club. We had just been awarded a club call sign that had been that of a deceased member who had been a doctor at a famous clinic.
I researched him, read his obituary in the newspaper files, and write something. But it seemed too short. So I interviewed some of his friends and his widow. Turned in a press release one and a half pages long, filled with info and pithy anecdotes. Then, I waited for the article to appear in the paper.
This is what they printed. (I have it memorized.) āThe FCC has awarded the call sign of W____ to the R_____ Amateur Radio Club. The call sign had been that of Dr. C_______ W______, who had been a consultant at the M___ C_____.ā
huew 9 months ago
In panel #3, Mike looks like a homeless guy on my block.
eced52 9 months ago
Wise man, Gordo.
French Persons' Treasury of Self-Applauding Batty Premium Member 9 months ago
āDearest Diary: What a fortuitous joy to discover that folks for hundreds of kilometers around Milborough have flocked to Gordoās Garage to fight for the treasures in his backyard! Yes, junk dealers and antique shops are willing to pay FAR above asking price for rotting artifacts, because Gordo has the approval of my parents and the benefit of my friendship. Museums far and wide were clamoring for the hidden delights, masked by layers of dirt, dead leaves and Inca ruin-type vegetationā¦. Because museums ALWAYS have the deep pockets and large budgets necessary to acquire the forgotten nuggets of Canadian history that have been dragged from the prairie and shuttered in backyards all over the Great Lakes region! Dame Fortune has dropped her riches on me and my friends once again. Iām sure that Gordo will now have the funds necessary to build a shining new store-frontā¦ with my parentsā help, and not to mention my own brilliant literary prose, of courseā¦ even if I did have to endure the indignation of having my thoughtful and insightful musings truncated and mutilated for the average Canadian reader. Stillā¦. Perhaps Gordo will drop me 50% as a ādiscoverer feeā? After all, if it wasnāt for us Pattersons, Gordo would still be hiding in our garage and falling off the porch. So, onward and upward! Hail, Dame Fortune! ā Faithfully submitted, Michael Patterson, Esq, GJA (genius journalist-author)ā
BlitzMcD 9 months ago
āDonāt knock the opportunityā. To sell off junk, perhaps. To lock oneās self early on in life to a business that leaves little or no time to enjoy life in general, perhaps not.
cracker65 9 months ago
Very wise.
Foob 9 months ago
Thus began Gordonās new business venture with John: Running a junkyard. Theyāll call it āPatter & Sonā.
John: āGordon, you big hoser!ā
mindjob 9 months ago
I guess that spinoff of Sanford and Son wonāt be happening
BuckeyeFanForever Premium Member 9 months ago
Take the ābull by the hornā and go for it.
EXCALABUR 9 months ago
Gordon is smart beyond his years. Also, a very nice young man
ladykat Premium Member 9 months ago
Gord is wise beyond his years.
Linguist 9 months ago
Amazing! No snarky comments (so far) from our usual critics.
djtenltd 9 months ago
Wise words, Gord!
The Anderson 9 months ago
I just love FBOFW. Moments like this are why.
lanainutahdesert 9 months ago
I donāt know quite whatās being said here. A start of what? Whatās Mikeās wish? What opportunity?
howtheduck 9 months ago
Gordon and Mike walking and hugging like Gordon and Tracey used to do. Pink handkerchief on the left side. Subtle Lynn Johnston. When opportunity knocks, donāt knock the opportunity. Well said Gordon. Donāt need that 5th panel to know what happens next.
Daltongang Premium Member 9 months ago
Friends helping friends. It doesnāt get much better than that.
Brent Rosenthal Premium Member 9 months ago
Gordo is learning more running his business than Mike is in college.
g04922 9 months ago
Gordoā¦ the smartest one of the bunch.
French Persons' Treasury of Self-Applauding Batty Premium Member 9 months ago
Lynn Johnston said that Gordon was the non-Patterson character whom she received the most hate-mail about. I would have thought that honor was for Anthonyā¦
kamoolah 9 months ago
Gordon does not understand that there is no such concept as the Canadian Dream.
Saurischia 9 months ago
Gordon has wisdom well beyond his years.
InuYugiHakusho 9 months ago
Well said, Gordon.
John Jorgensen 9 months ago
I hope he got something from the museum.
The_Great_Black President 9 months ago
Or this for a future stripā¦.
Michael is in jail. Rhetta is visiting with two small children
Guard: Mrs. Patterson? Sign the log, please.
Something catches Rhettaās eye
Name of Inmate: Michael Patterson
Name of Visitor: Martha McRae
Visitorās center. Pattersons are at a table. Michael is scruffy and long-haired, now wearing a prison uniform<i/i>
Rhetta: I saw her, Michael.
Michael: Saw who?
Rhetta: I saw her name in the log book. You want her to come to visit you? Good. Then let Martha McRae sneak this crud in for you every week! Rhetta pulls some food out of her jacket and flings it angrily on the table Let Martha McRae stay up all night crying and writing letters to the Crown. Let Martha McRae smuggle this in! Rhetta holds a plastic bag of pills and dangles it out of Michaelās reach Let her do it, Michael!!
Michael: Rhetta! Stop it! You are making a scene. I am in jail. I canāt stop people from coming to see me.
Rhetta breaks down crying
Rhetta: Nobody is helping me, Michael. I am all alone. Lawrence has HIV. Gordon and Tracey are broke. I went to see your friend Brian about the money he owes you and you know what he said? He told me to take the kids down to the police station and get on welfare!
Michael: That is what happens when you go away. Now look, I know a guy from Montreal and he struck a deal with me that when I get out we will start bringing guns into Canada from the US.
Rhetta: I am scared, Michael. What if John finds out?
Michael: Forget John! Is he helping you? Is he putting any food on your table? Of course not, you are not a sports car. Right now, we just have to trust each other.
Rhetta: I donāt want to hear her name again, Michael.
rbullfogg 9 months ago
Wise words from Gordo!
sincavage05 9 months ago
One mans trash is another mans treasure, good friends last forever.
Barnabus Blackoak 9 months ago
when he says they ātookā most of it, did they āTAKEā it or PAY for it ?
rebelstrike0 9 months ago
Gordon is learning much about how the world works through his business. This is making Michaelās time at college look like Darkest Africa.
fourteenpeeves 9 months ago
Who got the Esso Tiger Suit?(Tiger In Your Tank)
lnrokr55 9 months ago
Iām telling you folks, Gordo is the King !