Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for July 19, 2024

TOMORROW: Eugene puts the canoe out in the water to see if it floats. Don’t you dare miss a single action-packed panel.

Great deal. Well done, young man.

“But first, sign this waiver that protects us from the consequences of your self-destructive behavior!”

“Heck, if you drown, we can bury you in it!”

“But we charge double for oars!”

What? Who says anytheeng like that to a customer? It a crime to let customer use it if you theenks “if it floats…”. Because if it no float then customer can drowns an dies. And you theenks this a funny joke? This not funny. This outright outrageous. Using it for free me bear foot.

Why am I getting a feeling of tragedy by the end of the week?

“Of course, if it DOESN’T float, we’ll have to charge you. Leave your wallet here, just in case. Good luck out there, Fredo.”

CRANKERBEAN: Man tries to rent a canoe. PHANTOM: Giant Musk-Bot destroys the jungle! CRANK: Man tries again to rent canoe. JUDGE PARKER: Main character is DEAD—okay, I guess not? CRANK: Canoe rental continues. MARY WORTH: Dead fish gets burial at sea! CRANK: Canoe rental. BLONDIE: Apparently—her cupcakes are good! CRANK: Oh for Cry Eye, MORE CANOE?

Free is my favorite fee

Panel 1: Pre-WWII ? So this means that…. Panel 2: He’s around 110 years old now?

Your dapper bowtie, the pretty bow in her hair, the charming view over the boat’s bow.

Not really an endorsement. Not approved by the rental agency’s insurance company.

I am guessing he did not pay a few strips back.

The canoe is now a rowboat??

Rose and Tom paddled gently across the lake, the rhythmic dip of their oars breaking the serene surface of the water. The air was filled with the scent of pine and the distant calls of birds, creating a perfect backdrop for their journey back in time.

As they glided further from the shore, Tom couldn’t help but chuckle. “Remember how we used to race to that little island in the middle of the lake?” he asked, his voice filled with fondness.

Rose smiled, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “And how you always let me win,” she replied, her laughter mingling with the soft sounds of the lake.

They reached the center of the lake and paused, letting the canoe drift lazily. Tom leaned back, his hand trailing in the cool water. “It’s amazing how some things change so much, while others stay exactly the same,” he said, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon.

Rose reached out and touched his hand, her fingers warm and reassuring. “What’s important is that we’re here together,” she said softly.

Tom nodded, his heart full. “Here’s to old canoes and even older memories,” he said, lifting an imaginary glass.

They sat in companionable silence, the past and present intertwining seamlessly. As the sun dipped lower, casting a golden glow over the lake, Rose and Tom felt a profound sense of peace. They had weathered the storms of life together, and now, in this quiet moment, they were reminded of the enduring power of love and the simple joys that time can never take away.

With a contented sigh, Tom dipped his oar back into the water, and together, they paddled slowly back to shore, their hearts light and their spirits rejuvenated.

He knows the ole guy knows what he is doing!!!!!!

Ooh’ he’s a punter, is he? A canoodler?

I hope it floats.

surprise ending jasons mother comes out of the water and snuffs out the old codger too bad no alligators in ohio

How generous of him. An old rowboat that has been sitting there for 50 years that the company doesn’t own, and he’s not going to charge the guy.

Cue up Jason Vorhees and “Friday the 13th” sound effects..

Well after all these years, if the boat is a rocking, the police will come knocking, cause Eugene is going to be all alone in that boat.

Sentimental. I, for one, like it.

If this were a movie he’d take it out and purposely scuttle it to end his life.

Got Oars?

Yes , because they are going to risk a huge lawsuit by allowing someone to use old rotten canoes.

I know that rowboat. It belonged to my friend Dave some years ago. Now Dave owned this dilapidated rowboat, and his identical twin brother Don was married, and it happened that around the same time Don’s wife died and Dave’s boat sank. A couple weeks after the funeral, a little old lady at Sunday’s church mistook Dave for Don (did I mention they were identical twins?) and offered her sympathy on his loss. Dave replied, “Yeah, well, it had to happen. She was an old thing, really, with a bad crack and a big hole up front, and she stank of dead fish. Every time I got in her, she made water like you wouldn’t believe. In the end, three of my friends from the city came out and asked if they could use her. I told them she wasn’t good for much, but they insisted. Silly fools, all three of them tried to get in her at once, and when they did she split right up the middle and…”

At that point the little old lady fainted.

Hey, after a week of completely humor-free Crankshaft strips, somebody had to tell a joke!

“Heck, if it floats…”

Dood, it’s made of wood. Wood floats. You’re going to have to be a little more specific than that.

The old-timey pics look like that they are from 1935 at the latest. How old is this guy? 110 or so?

May not be the exact one he used before but it looks like a kissing cousin to it…….

The rental company’s insurer no doubt loves this.

Something seems to be missing. Come back tomorrow when Eugene magically pulls two row boat oars out of his rear end.

Old dude knows it won’t float. As he sinks below the surface, his las thoughts will be “Free at last! Free at last!”

Um, where’s, uh, what’s-his-name? Oh, yeah…Cranky? Under water?