Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 07, 2025

If he’d asked for it with a twist, would Pig have danced on the bar?

I would rather not think about what Pig would have done if he had asked for a dirty martini.

It’s a shame that nobody brought a splash of water to Trump’s speech.

My eyes took me straight from panel 1 to panel 4 (because that’s where the text was). It was very funny looking back to see what the joke was.

Pig in a suit.

Why do I suddenly think of Lindsay Graham?

I am hoping that this is a start of an arc where Pig gets jobs at different bars serving drinks as per name.

A good trick would have been to serve a Black Russian…literally

Yeah those fancy drinks are hard to get right

Good thing he didn’t ask for Sex on the Beach!

Best to just ask for a Bourbon on the rocks and skip out the splash of water. The ice is sufficient enough to water the drink down.

This is a good one! What if he asked for a Harvey Wallbanger?

Given that Pig was very polite, and that the guy demanded a drink and couldn’t be bothered to say please (who does he think he is?) I think Pig did the right thing…

yall i dont wanna sound stupid and idiotic but, what is swine?

Come on! Pig was just following orders!

The rocks will dilute the bourbon enough as it is. Why do further damage by adding water?

You shouldn’t use idioms and slang with Pig. He takes things very literally.

His next gig will be a position on Trump’s cabinet.

The guy’s name is Bart and you ended his assignation so you are a BartEnder.

I asked for a bourbon on the rocks! What’s with the glass?!?!

I’ll take a pass on the Bloody Mary…

Somewhere there’s a bar that does that.

A little too much splash, Pig.

I LOL. Hysterical! ☺️☺️☺️

I’ll never forget my first wife ordering a dry martini in a Dublin pub and being served straight Martini & Rossi Dry Vermouth. The expression on her face when she tasted it was priceless!

He didn’t read the book apparently.

Not sure what the problem was. Pig gave him exactly what he ordered

Back on the old “Bewitched” series, Samantha’s elderly aunt Clara offered to conjure up a “scotch on the rocks”. Immediately a bagpiper in a kilt standing on some rocks appeared.

Instead of new human characters BRING BACK THE CROCS!!!

well, he did what he told him to do. :D

At least Pig still has the proper attire.

Good one!

Really? He gave the man what he asked for.

A few months ago, there was a new person at the bar and they gave me my beer “on the rocks”. I was very confused.

“Do we serve water here?!”

If it’s Pig’s first day then he’s on a training shift and should be working under another bartender’s supervision. And if it’s a classy enough joint that they make the bartenders dress like that, I find it kind of hard to imagine their hiring is so indiscriminate that they could wind up with someone who doesn’t know what “on the rocks” means.

Trump clones have no patience either, so he got the “YOU’RE FIRED!”

Actually,this was just before somebody ordered a Mai Tai and Pig handed them a necktie

And remember…absinthe makes the heart grow fonder

Bars are not for literalists. Good to know.

At least the rocks weren’t in the water.

huh? whut seems to be the problem? he gave ’im what ’e asked for!… (well, to be fair, that splash a water was kinda oversized…)

It’s the bar owners fault. Why did he have a supply of rocks and a pail?

Imagine if Rat were the bartender!

I love Pig’s sleeveless suit. Very sexy, Pig.

Earnest failures

When I wanted to become a bartender, I offered to work in a college town bar for free just to learn. Pretty soon, he hired me, at $2 an hour (1971).

Never got a raise, but I worked other places, then got a job in the big city and eventually became a hotel beverage manager.

Maybe it’s just me, but a customer who says “gimme” is definitely off on the wrong foot.

And then there was the repairwoman who asked the new bartender to hand her a phillips screwdriver. He gave her a glass of vodka, orange juice, & milk of magnesia!!

Hilarious! Would’ve been even more hilarious if one of the crocs had done that

Pig got lucky. I can think of drinks that would have gotten him arrested. Bloody Mary anyone?

Worth it.

If pig was a literal-minded as the strip portrays, there would be no glass. Just some soaked rocks.