The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for March 23, 2025

I have been assured by several Canadians that the numbers work out.

This is still about hitting a puck with a stick, right?

Sounds like a bunch of Hockey to me.

I always used to hear that ice hockey was frozen manure.

Not a hockey fan and after that explanation…I’m going to light one up!

Does sound complicated

“Now, let me explain Gaelic football…..”

My lifelong interest in collegiate hockey began when I was attending the University of Wisconsin in the late 60’s. Most of us who went didn’t know a lot about the game, so during the intermissions of each game, there would be helpful demonstrations of what the various penalties were. I still keep up with how the school teams are doing, which is easy to do, as both the men’s and women’s teams have had great success over the years.

Cricket: As explained to a foreigner…

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out.

When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out (the not-outs),

…that is the end of the game!

HOWZAT!!!

I went to a fight, and a hockey game broke out.

“They always try to play with our minds. But that won’t work with our club. We’ve got 20 guys without brains.”

Bobby Clarke

Do you remember in 1995, when FOX Sports inaugurated its NHL coverage with a new ‘glowing puck’ technology called FoxTrax? Television ratings were SO LOW stations refused to broadcast games including the Stanley Cup Championships.

Funny! That’s the American way of looking at it Wilberforce! I’ve come to love hockey. I live and die (mostly die) by the fortunes of my beloved BlueJackets and have season tickets. The two halftimes mean double the opportunity to buy beer!

It’s been over 60 years since my father took me to our first hockey game. We were both surprised when people started to leave after the third “quarter”.

What does a hockey forward say on Halloween?

Hat Trick or Treat

Wilberforce you are not too good in math son! Three quarters don’t make a whole.

Loooong time ago, I played soccer in college and a friend from high school (that was a hockey fan) asked how many quarters were in a game.

Is that because of the metric system?

Wilber wasn’t paying attention. He was told that hockey doesn’t call it halftime.

The boy needs some work on his fraction it would seem. As lAso, what are the time outs called when they stop play to fight in the rink which are sanctioned and approved? Are they timed too? Still fun to watch though…..

What a hockey puck..LOL

so they only get to play half an hour twice and they get three quarters for there efforts… :\

No, Wilberforce. Hockey is divided into thirds, football into halves, and baseball into ninths.

Ya like that joke? ’cause I got another!

Why didn’t the hockey player play well?

Because he got cold feet.

he’s on thin ice…

Brutus could have used this time to engage Wilberforce into some interest in math or sports, but it doesn’t look like it would take for Wilberforce at this time. I think they should go to some games together, even if it’s just the local high school games.

the state of math education in this country is just pitiful

No, you just aren’t listening…

New Math is confusing Wilberforce.

Two halves and three quarter makes a Buck seventy five, or 10 dollars Canadian.

You lost all credibility at “the hockey match”.

And after the second period, the Zamboni comes out

No not messing with you, you’re just slow on the uptake.

Although Wilberforce is hearing his Dad, he is not paying attention or actually listening.

I’d like someone to explain canadian football to me.

“Car Talk” on NPR has three halves. They’re all reruns but you can find them online.

I have only gone to one hockey game. When I was a grad student at a private University here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, I had a room in the undergrad men’s dorm. My friend, Sandy, an undergrad, was from Cornwall, Ontario Canada. I was friends with his Canadian friend. Since I had a car, they asked me to take them to a hockey game being held at the Assembly Center downtown. And that was because a guy from Cornwall was on the visiting team.

What I liked about hockey when I was growing up in Detroit was that, unlike football, it was usually only on the Canadian station, Channel 9, and therefore didn’t interfere with any of my good programs.