Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 31, 2025

Carl pushes the Garage button 12 times.

Quite the contrary, something’s very much over for Carl!

Take the stairs, Carl.

Oh his day AT THE OFFICE is over…

Until the day I DIE , I will never like these “hereafter” jokes…..

And the elevator down the hall has a Wiley bear.

I guess staying at the office longer is purgatory

This could be a funny prank to play on a CEO but then it might give them a heart attack or a reality check.

Yeah – not for a LONG, LONG time.

Georges Guétary’s filmed version is probably the most famous, because it was in “An American In Paris”; but it was recorded several times immediately after it appeared in George White’s 1922 “Scandals”. The earliest major artist recording appears to be the incomparable Sarah Vaughn (1958), and though Pat Boone recorded it that same year his version can’t compare to Vaughn’s recording of George Gershwin songs (Ira wrote the lyrics). Also, though often shortened to “Stairway to Paradise”, the original title WAS “I’ll Build A Stairway To Paradise.” At any rate, Carl DEFINITELY should take the stairs, if he wants to make it out of the building alive.

Too bad he can’t choose to Go Up the Down Escalator.

He can’t win.

The ground floor (First floor if you’re American) is on fire.

Carl is a senior member of the FBI.

Why is heaven always depicted as being “up” ? There is no “up”, only “out”.

I’ll take door number three Monty, no matter where its going…

THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT, a very underrated Jack Benny film,features an elevator that goes to the top floor and keeps on going to Heaven.

Everyone who bends the knee to the traitor Trump will be taking the elevator on the right.

Can’t we all just get along? Na, everyone wants their pizza cut differently.

If angels were real, this one would invite the sad sack in and redeem him on the way up. Since they’re not, it matters little which one he takes. The result will be the same, just delayed a little.

No thanks to either option. I’m going to Valhalla when I die. They know how to party.

You have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever going up.

If he’s leaving for the day, he wouldn’t want to go up now would he? In heaven there is no beer.

Karl is doomed to spend eternity in meetings.

Hmmm… decisions, decisions. Going up offers pleasant weather and good neighbors while going down has better food and plenty of legal help.

I’d avoid elevators entirely today, Carl.

I just remembered, I left something important back in my office. You go ahead, I’ll take the next one.

I was recently in a courthouse elevator with the door shut but the buttons not responding. Then the back door opened and in walked a sheriff with a handcuffed arrestee. The sheriff told me I had to leave, but only she could open the door.

Carl must be a Personal Injury Attorney!