Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 28, 2024

Learn to leave people alone.

Pig had it wrong anyway; you can’t choose to be happy or sad, any more than you can choose not to bleed if you’re wounded. It just doesn’t work that way.

I can relate to Rat here.

That’s gotta hurt.

Not only does Rat keep himself miserable, he makes the people around him miserable. And that applies to many rude people.

Pig’s mistake: giving him a choice.

Well, the choice seems to have cured him anyway.

Beaten pork for breakfast eh.

Today’s lesson for Pig: Non-morning people do not like cheerfulness in the morning.

I have a rule: Not only do I not make any decisions the first hour I am up, I will not ALLOW myself to make any, and absolve myself from any pressure. Makes getting up so much more manageable.

Life always presents challenges, how to respond to them is up to you!

looks like Rat’s mood improved, though

I have a question for those who say happiness is a choice…

Suppose that, through no fault of your own, you lose your job, your spouse takes the kids and runs off with someone else, and, because you can’t make payments, since you don’t have a job, the bank forecloses on your mortgage, you lose your home, and your car is repossessed. To top it all off, your doctor tells you you have a brain tumor and at most six months to live. Would you still chose to be happy?

Why does pig always choose this route?

When I wake up, before leaving my bed, I lay there thinking of three things for which I am grateful. While ruminating, usually smiling, I sometimes doze back. Other times I get up feeling peaceful and calm.

In the older sense of the word, happiness IS connected to good things happening to you. That’s WHY the word is “happy.”

Rat isn’t a morning person, a day person or a night person. In fact, he’s not even a person at all.

Esp in the morning. BTW… Our Be❤️ed Hero and God Bless America Patriot Extraordinaire, The Handsome ❤️Count is very much a Morning Person! And whole❤️edly channels Hobbes and Garfield with the nap stuff.

Don’t worry…. be happy.

I’m not much of a morning person either. I force myself to get up so I can read Pearls Before Swine.

Pig isn’t totally wrong. There can be joy in mourning, key phrase being “can be.”

I’m an early riser but don’t try to talk to me until I’ve had my first cup of caffeine!

♫ Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd ♫

♫ Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd ♫

♫ Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd ♫

♫ But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to ♫

I LOVE taunting non-morning people!

Morning has Broken over his head.

Pig had to learn the hard way once again

He wasn’t taunting you, he was trying to help.

No, just don’t someone in a bad mood. Most of the time, they just get worked out.

We call this “Pork chops”. :)

Happiness is a purchase.

(ಠ ͚ ͚ʖ ಠ)

“Happy” literally means “lucky”.

Toxic positivity is called that name for a reason!

This long ago retired person gets up when HE feels like it. But, still, quickly takes his strong coffee fix habit.

“Turn that frown upside down! It takes more muscles to frown than to smile.”

AAAGHHHHH! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news, I may have a job next week, so staying on a morning schedule has paid off.

WHERE’S MY SUNDAY PUN??!! I NEED MY SUNDAY PUN.

You write a country-western song about it and come a millionaire

Since it is Sunday, I will point out that Solomon was apparently not a morning person.

“If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.” Proverbs 27:14

….. Cue Bobby McFarren.

Speaking of the choice thing here’s a random fact: When websites give you a choice they sometimes make the “no” button sound horrible so that the people on the website will choose yes

I knew a gal that couldn’t (or more accurately, wouldn’t!) be civil until her first cuppa joe in the AM. I always thought, “do you ever plan on growing up?” Unfortunately, some folks choose not to their whole lives. Fortunately for me in my situation, they’re easy to keep at arm’s length…(or farther, preferably! Lol!)

Don’t taunt Happy Fun Ball either.

Since happy and unhappy are actually triggered by electrochemical events not under conscious control, about the best you can do is try to behave in a manner that minimizes unhappy trigger events and try to find behavior that will minimize the electrochemical responses. It still won’t do much about your first born being hit by a car driven by bipolar guy off his meds and under the influence of meth and acid.

I just lost my husband of 42 years, three days after he passed our water line and sewer line collapsed, and neither one covered by insurance, and no life insurance

That attitude has made Garfield a fortune.

Rat is quite right.

People are about as happy as they choose to be- Abraham Lincoln

Happiness is a serious problem - Dennis Prager

Ohhh yes, morning people are the worst in the morning. For some reason they think being cherry and talkative when you first wake up makes your day. Then they don’t understand why you can’t be just like them.

Eddie Lawrence will now do his famous routine—-“The Old Philosopher”