Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 11, 2024

I almost expected Pig to say, “Why didn’t I get one?”

Everybody in central Florida got a free car wash. That’s the best spin I could think of.

And the lady who got plastic surgery got 2 chest balloons.

You could just spend your time watching Cat Videos. It’s equally informative and more honest than fake news.

With all the political commercials on the news lately, the news is almost impossible to watch!

I wanna balloon too!

You just know there’ll be people who’ll want two balloons . . . (sigh)

Welcomes to Ignorance is bliss news channel. And tonight on the breaking news show….we gots balloons. Because balloons is just like bubbles that you can hides inside from the reality.

The announcer’s name is Pennywise!

Good news – I like it.

In other news, balloons that float up into the air eventually pop and fall back to earth, where pieces of them are eaten by various birds and animals. Since they can’t digest them, the balloons kill the animals.

So … where are the balloons? Where’s my balloon?

I hope my blue balloon arrives Nov. 6.

Just for the record, ever since there has been news, there have been laments that there’s nothing but bad news out there. That’s because there has always been bad news out there, and people are attracted to it. It IS exhausting, and that’s why it’s important to step away periodically to smell the roses (that have also always been there). However, knowing what’s going on is essential if you want to have any control over your life.

Small example: what would it be like if people hadn’t learned — through the news — that Hurricane Milton was going to be bad? How many more would have died? Of course, the news in this case depended on NOAA which one political party wants to defund — another unhappy thing we learn in the news, but important so we can combat it.

Devastation in Asheville from Helene, and now the wreckage of Milton – it feels apocalyptic.

But just ignore it all, no indication that storms are getting more frequent and more severe.

If only things were that easy.

That’s odd? I always thought fake ne, excuse me, alternative facts were just lies and the people who told them were evil.

Balloons make everyone happy.

Yay and stuff.

Bad part, the balloons are from China!

Not going to happen. Bad news sells.

The Count and Banksy approve this comic.

No such luck, Pig.

Can I have a helium balloon? I love those. I put just enough weight on their ribbon so that they float around.

We need more. Give us unicorns, lollypops, and 15 million bucks.

Wait….Isi t from a sewer clown????

And then Pig turns off the TV, spurring the infotainment industry to go back to addicting sensationalism…

It’s good to take a break from the news every so often.

What station do I turn on for this news? (note that I said “turn on” not “switch to” as I stopped watching the news a loooooong time ago.)

On any given day the vast majority of people do not get balloons, so I don’t think this anchor is going to have much credibility.

And plenty of political hot air baloney to blow it up.

Like the saying goes, no news is good news!

And cheese!

Um…is anyone concerned that people in the TV can see and interact with Pig?

8+ billion balloons would have a terrible effect on the environment.

It’s what “They” are using to control the weather.

I hope it is a Red balloon.

Another lie really isn’t going to help

That’s how we all get news, except it’s more politcally inclined.

What color balloon … ?

We all know good news doesn’t sell, which is why (one reason) we get the 24/7 horror show called “news.” A far far greater amount of good things happen everyday than do bad. Exponentially more things go right each day than go wrong.

Politics and Science don’t care if you care about them or stay informed about them. They’ll wreck you either way. Odds are several climate change deniers have died in both hurricanes that were clearly buffed by climate change. Stay informed. It’s your responsibility in a Democracy. But hey, don’t and pretty soon you won’t have to worry about being informed because Fascist Dictators want you blissfully ignorant of everything.

If it’s filled with nitrous oxide,I’m in.

“Okay, and on to the news. Yesterday the roof of Tropicana Field tore like a balloon. Uh, oops.”

several weeks ago, i stopped watching the news. i’m missing a lot…but my stress level is low. i got tired of watching things i have no control or influence over. i’ll tune in again after the election.

all kinds of responsible sources report more intense storms.Thus, as we Jews sometimes say, May the year end with its curses, and may the new year begin with its blessings.L’shana tova everyone, Hebrew for happy new year. And please don’t politicize this. This has nothing to do with the ongoing horror.