When will women learn NEVER to ask their husbands/boyfriends that particular question? Any man with half a functioning brain cell knows that it’s an inescapable death trap!
The real answer to those type of questions has always been “Its not the dress/jeans/pants that make you look fat, It’s the fat that makes you look fat”
The consequences of that answer however result in screaming or sleeping on the sofa or the silent treatment or divorce!
When my wife asks that question I always tell it like I see it. She really wants to know if the clothing is unflattering. She knows to take my opinion on colors with a grain of salt, though. Poor artistic choice in colors seems to be part of my lack of color awareness.
In one episode of “Blue Bloods” Jamie swallowed a zip drive. Later, in the dinner scene, everyone teases him about the things he swallowed as a child including Danny’s collection of Mercury dimes. Danny said that after he got them back and he cleaned them, they shined!
True story: I was at Penney’s with my wife when she asked me, “Does this dress make me look fat?” I noted that all activity stopped in the whole fitting rooms area and it got really quiet. I deadpan replied, “I don’t know, your beauty has struck me blind.” The WHOLE place roared with laughter!! Two women said they pee’d themselves and rushed off to the rest room. A clerk, at a nearby register, was laughing so hard that she had to stop working and compose herself.
Sir mix a lot told the truth. And women loved his honesty. Then the band South Park told the woman that she was fine, and to back that a** up, so I guess context makes a big difference.
Blanche’s magical MUMS potion helps one float. So does salt from The Red Sea. They should make a heated swimming pool that has the weight fall right off. Just float around in the pool a few hours and walk out with an hour glass figure and no blemishes.
I Mad Am I over 3 years ago
The best part about speaking the truth… you don’t have to memorize a lie. So… in this case – Silence Is Golden. If not… beware of the brown! ;)
jasonsnakelover over 3 years ago
Your butt would look big whether there’s a dress on it or not. Famous last words to a wife who asks that question.
Wilde Bill over 3 years ago
Nobody who asks that question really wants to hear the truth.
LeeCox over 3 years ago
When will women learn NEVER to ask their husbands/boyfriends that particular question? Any man with half a functioning brain cell knows that it’s an inescapable death trap!
pearlsbs over 3 years ago
But what if Wiz likes big butts?
stillfickled Premium Member over 3 years ago
How in the heck can the nurse see?? a “Beetle Bailey” wanna be?
Darth_Walrus_1975 over 3 years ago
Hope the wand doesn’t fire in his rear, when they try to remove it.
Scorpio Premium Member over 3 years ago
In the words of the immortal Mon Calimari “It’s a Trap!”
littlejohn Premium Member over 3 years ago
Wiz your posture needed some help. Now you will keep your back straight. At least till the Physician Assistant will see you for a wand-dicectomy.
B UTTONS over 3 years ago
Wiz can save a bit on the Viagra
ralph.barone over 3 years ago
“Your butt makes your butt look big.”
LookingGlass Premium Member over 3 years ago
That’s a question that is best not to be answered…EVER!!
Sanspareil over 3 years ago
The real answer to those type of questions has always been “Its not the dress/jeans/pants that make you look fat, It’s the fat that makes you look fat”
The consequences of that answer however result in screaming or sleeping on the sofa or the silent treatment or divorce!
SamuelMeasa over 3 years ago
I remember having a girl friend ask this question. Thankfully she was looking to know if it made her look Phat rather then overweight.
sandpiper over 3 years ago
Never, ever mess with Blanche. Payback is her specialty.
Imagine over 3 years ago
How big do you want it to look?
DaveG1960 over 3 years ago
Didn’ty you see the way I walked in?
Doug Taylor Premium Member over 3 years ago
My name is Wiz, on a Stick!
jagedlo over 3 years ago
Hope your insurance covers this, Wiz!
flagmichael over 3 years ago
When my wife asks that question I always tell it like I see it. She really wants to know if the clothing is unflattering. She knows to take my opinion on colors with a grain of salt, though. Poor artistic choice in colors seems to be part of my lack of color awareness.
ERBEN2 over 3 years ago
Not at all honey , and , may I kiss your cheeks , please .
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 3 years ago
Okay you deserve that Wiz. All those spells and magic things laying around and you can’t lie better than that? Bad on you. :(
Nala the Great over 3 years ago
In one episode of “Blue Bloods” Jamie swallowed a zip drive. Later, in the dinner scene, everyone teases him about the things he swallowed as a child including Danny’s collection of Mercury dimes. Danny said that after he got them back and he cleaned them, they shined!
bobwigg761 over 3 years ago
Whats worse, he probably answered immediately without even turning around to have a look!
Chithing Premium Member over 3 years ago
I doubt that he’s going to want to take a seat in the waiting room.
Troglodyte over 3 years ago
Poor Wiz got shafted!
MikeMcDermid over 3 years ago
True story: I was at Penney’s with my wife when she asked me, “Does this dress make me look fat?” I noted that all activity stopped in the whole fitting rooms area and it got really quiet. I deadpan replied, “I don’t know, your beauty has struck me blind.” The WHOLE place roared with laughter!! Two women said they pee’d themselves and rushed off to the rest room. A clerk, at a nearby register, was laughing so hard that she had to stop working and compose herself.
tcayer over 3 years ago
The pat answer is “Of COURSE not!” You don’t have to say the part about ’it’s all the fat that makes your butt look big’ out loud!
cracker65 over 3 years ago
Sir mix a lot told the truth. And women loved his honesty. Then the band South Park told the woman that she was fine, and to back that a** up, so I guess context makes a big difference.
cactusbob333 over 3 years ago
Not at all. It covers both zip codes adequately.
Flatlander, purveyor of fine covfefe over 3 years ago
No! you’re big butt makes your butt look big
justjam38 over 3 years ago
Do women really make that comment in real life or just in comics?? I’m 82 AND have NEVER asked such a dumb question, I have a mirror & eyes.
WCraft Premium Member over 3 years ago
I was once asked that and I said, “You must think I’m pretty stupid with a question like that!”
jrkert over 3 years ago
But… he was sitting!
Bruce1253 over 3 years ago
To quote Money Python, “Run Away! Run Away!!”
raybarb44 over 3 years ago
Just tell the nurse the question your wife asked and your answer, she will know where to look….
tripwire45 over 3 years ago
Never ever answer that question, at least not honestly.
kathleenhicks62 over 3 years ago
Some husbands never learn do they?
Buckeye67 over 3 years ago
Hey big butts have made the Kardashians a lot of money.
krisannr.thompson over 3 years ago
amxchester over 3 years ago
800 years old and you still haven’t learned, Wiz?
Ray Helvy Premium Member over 3 years ago
(Sort of) correct answer: No dear, but it does accentuate your beautiful curves.
weirdme Premium Member over 3 years ago
(cough) it’s a butt joke (cought) It’s rather personal!
WentBrown over 3 years ago
Hoo boy Wizard, you screw up.
STACEY MARSHALL Premium Member over 3 years ago
Does this wand inserted sideways make my butt look big?
Calvinist1966 over 3 years ago
Now the Wiz has a wand where he sometimes has wind.
JoeMartinFan Premium Member over 3 years ago
How she did that while he was sitting down is the real question!
JPuzzleWhiz over 3 years ago
“No, fatty, it’s all those rich foods you snarfed that made you look fat! Wait — did I just say that out loud? OH NOOOOOOOO!"