Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for December 15, 2021

First thing Dad learned in law school is never admit you don’t know something.

It’s called infrastructure…..

And all the drivers are would-be suicides.

“And no, they don’t use crash test dummies.”

I’m sure that was done at one point in time and then engineers developed equations to calculate that.

Dad and son unleashed and mom reaching the end of her tether – lovely! Just a normal family.

Those engineers have all the fun

Even if your client is guilty defend him anyway; then take the money and run. It’s called the Guiliani approach.

Moms have never understood the joy that comes playing with a child’s mind. It’s a mystery how such a natural form of parental communication could escape them.

And the best part: More employment for bridge builders!

I love it when Dad messes with Calvin’s mind like that

And ruin his fun? With a kid like Calvin, Dad needs all the fun he can get. I love it when he plays mind games with Calvin.

But mom. Where’s the fun in that???

Why do you think Dad doesn’t know the right answer, Mom? Are you sure that wasn’t it?

Calvin: “Dad, how does a carburetor work?”

Dad: “I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a secret!”

“No, it isn’t—you just don’t know!”

Sounds legit. Remind not to apply for any bridge tester jobs.

Actually, he is not far off. In Russia they actually did that on occasion.

Honestly that sounds like a reasonable answer

What always gets me to worrying, okay I have always weighed the truck I drive at the scales and it comes just under 10 tons. 9 and a half tons to be precise. No problem right? But what worries me is what would happen if I am just about half way across the bridge and another truck also weighing just under 10 tons starts to cross from the other direction and we meet at the middle?

In the third panel I think he means weigh the second to last truck. It would be hard to weigh the last truck since it would be broken into a thousand pieces at the bottom of the gorge. How can they be sure they collected every single piece to find the total weight? Of course if the engineers in that country were smarter they’d weigh the last truck BEFORE it crossed the bridge, not after.

I thought that was the answer.

Another marvellous example of Dad’s imagination at work. As Calvin says, he should have guessed it himself. Dad and Calvin do think alike at times.

It really is no wonder that Calvin is the way he is given his gene pool.

Dear Brian,

I have been reading the comments you made about my reference on Sunday to our recent conversations. I am afraid that our conversations don’t seem to be as good-natured as they originally were. You once said that you thought I was “nearly as imaginative as Calvin”. I think that you meant that as a compliment and I took it as one.

You say that I keep bringing up the same arguments. I suppose that is true as I keep stating that I originally assumed Hobbes was part of Calvin’s imagination but changed my mind. I have sometimes mentioned the different reasons why I stopped believing Hobbes to be part of Calvin’s wonderful imagination including comments by Bill Watterson himself.

About 20 years ago in the wilds of South Jersey, some guy decided to drive a crane (maybe 70 tons) over a small bridge (limit maybe 10 tons). He made it the first time. Coming back was a different story.

This is the type of nonsense I tell my children.

In a world full of fake news, where misinformation is a weapon wielded efficiently by foreign forces, it’s important to double check all your information.

I wondered how Calvin had his brain broken… but you have to give Dad an “A” for originality, and an “A” for out of the box thinking!

Judging by mom’s cross expression in the last panel, I’m surprised she called him dear.

Not to get too serious, but I actually think this is an important part of the learning process. Many’s the time I gave my boys ridiculous, convoluted answers which both delighted them for the absurdity and prodded them into thinking what the real answer might be.

It is called the bridge formula

My kid took part in a contest to build the strongest bridge out of popsicle sticks. They chose the winner using a machine that put more and more weight on it until it broke.

So, reasonable.

I don’t understand why mom is so MAD! Look at that face! (Or more specifically, look at that MOUTH!)

It’s complicated, and involves math.

Truck driver with a 12-ton rig: “Hey, I don’t see any cops around, I’m going for it.”

Reminds me of the Jeff Foxworthy bit about how long they make the rope for the bungee jump…

My son who eventually wound up as a civil engineer, entered a contest with this team to build a bridge with matchsticks and glue. The team that built the strongest bridge won.

After all the competition was eliminated and they had used every weight in the lab, they had to go to the gym and borrow some bar bell weights. When the bridge finally did break, pieces went flying everywhere.

There was a lot of pent-up energy in that structure.

Oh like mom majored in Architecture? Does she have a better answer?

Dad is already VERY low in Calvin’s esteem. Why add ignorance?

The trouble with Dad level BS is that it’s hard to smell a warning over the aftershave.

but I like his answer better.

Probably the first bridge designs were made that way.

If you ask a man to mansplain you get what you asked for.

Just about my favorite Calvin and Hobbes ever. My other favorite is when Dad tells him they keep the sun in Sedona at night.

The real answer is worse Calvin. It’s called “math”.

The Dads answer would have been my answer too! Sometimes the truth needs a little creative spark.

Lighten up, mom

trial and error!

tme tested!

Dad has done it again. Good one too.

I like how their car is only bouncing slightly in the first panel, compared to other strips where the car can bounce fairly high when driving.

The best part of being a grandparent is telling kids wildly wrong stuff! It’s sort of like our own private Fox news.

That’s how they used to build TVs. They would design the most perfect TV from an engineering standpoint. Then they would take out parts until it quit working. Then they would put the last part back in and sell the set.

Read a book about the building of the Brooklyn bridge. Started after the Civil War and finished during the1870’s. It was a time of a great deal of corruption in politics and building trades. A lot different from now, Right? Any way about 1948 there was a lot of concern about the old bridge failing and local government decided to have some engineers check it. Engineering team went over it carefully and rendered the verdict that it really needed a new coat of paint.

I find that refreshingly logical… in a Calvinistic sort of way.

My theory is that Dad knows better, as dads often do, but is just having a lot of fun pulling Calvin’s leg. Calvin enjoys it. Mom, however…

BTW, oftentimes a good and very acceptable answer for kid-questions like that is “Magic!”

Actually, I like that answer. It does make sense. I’m waiting for the father to explain to Calvin how they test load limits on elevators…

And chocolate milk comes from brown cows

If the bickering isn’t gonna stop, that’s (sadly) how the infrastructure bill will end.

This is an all time classic. I think of this strip whenever I see a LOAD LIMIT sign.

Humour is our only legal revenge on our children.

I had a friend whose husband built bridges. She said as they drove around the country, the conditions of most bridges they saw scared them as being very worn and dangerous- and this was about 10 years ago.

Dad right you know!

How else would they do it?

I don’t know, sounds reasonable to me . . . .

Fortunately, you only have to run the destructive testing once, then you do the math to apply it to the general class of bridges of the same type. See, that’s why mathematics is important. Saves a lot on trucks.

Look Dear explaining to kid his age about calculating structural loading based on materials, the terrain and why the arch is there would not be as entertaining as my story.

No wonder your son’s always believing such nonsense!

but it is funny – and that is what a comic is supposed to do – make us laugh! Calvin always does!

So, they weigh the truck that collapsed the bridge? How can they be sure they retrieved all the parts of the truck? They miss a couple of weights and discover that the load limit is 500 lb. less than the last truck that successfully crossed?

Life before Google.

In PA they have been working on infrastructure with bridges for about 10 years now, they have found out that a lot of the old bridges around here, which most are very old, aren’t able to hold the load of trucks going over them anymore and that they have caused deterioration and instability in the bridges. They have been building new bridges all over the state and in our county they have a couple left to redo then all the bridges will be new and able to hold the heavier loads.

Not sure he’s that far off the mark…

One big problem with bridges for politicians is if you build a new bridge, hurray!, you get to have a big celebration perhaps even name it after yourself and the users will credit you for the bridge. OTOH, repair a bridge and nobody even notices the bridge not collapsing.

In NY our former governor named a major replacement bridge for his father with whom he shares a last name. AHEM! He still had to resign.

Of course, they learned to build scale models of bridges and have hamsters drive over them until they collapsed. Today, we use simulations with influencers driving the trucks. :)