Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for April 19, 2020

Glad I could be of assistance, Ma’am! We’ll look to see where Ludwig is staring in the morning!

“Rawhide and Bloody Bones saying, ‘Let me out. Let me out.’

Now go back to sleep."

JJ’s been peeking again. This was us last month except she heard something thump on the back porch. I dutifully performed the mandated inspection and of course found nothing amiss. The next morning however she-who-must-be-obeyed explained it to me. The unusually heavy snow that night pulled our electric line away from the moorings next to the back porch. Everything was still connected and thankfully the connections were a good foot and a half off the ground. Having good neighbors is a blessing. One is a city electrician, who had a friend who had a nephew who was at the house in three hours, and three more hours saw everything disconnected, repaired, and reconnected.

It is probably just a tree rat, or an actual rat.

Red squirrels.

If it got in the wall, it can get out of the wall.

Long ago, my Bahsha Cat woke me in the middle of the night, insisting that I open the door into the living room (body language and pawing at the door). When I did, she streaked to one of the Victorian windows and sat looking up. I joined her and discovered a bat clinging to the valance. It had come down the chimney. Bless him, a member of the Ashland, OH PD came out that morning and removed it.

If you want something done right (now), get up and do it yourself.

We frequently have snakes crawling across the attic floor. It sounds as if someone is dragging a body up there. Which, is a sense, is exactly what’s going on.

This is the 21st Century and women can do anything a man can do and give birth while doing it. You want to fight in combat, but you’re terrified of mice and spiders? Maybe you should grow a pair, put on you big boy pants and take care of the noise yourself.

Sarcasm, Janis? Just squirrels – though they can be trouble.

Even if it is a rat or mouse, there is nothing Arlo can do about it at 4:00 AM. He can put out traps or call an exterminator in the morning.

Arlo! Make a fist. Give the wall a good thump with the side of the fist. That’ll usually solve things…

…and that wasn’t even the noise she heard!

Had that last year. Put a Hav-a-Hart trap in the attic and over the next few days, caught a bunch of flying squirrels.

Like the things that go bump in the night against the plumbing in the crawl space. I don’t worry too much. If they hang around too long, a rattlesnake will get them.

It’s amazing how speculative are some of the comments here, when everyone knows but doesn’t want to admit, that it is in fact, The Boogie Man.

Ah, there is a song, “It’s so nice to have a man around the house…” And my wife thinks so…ah….

maybe she should get her phone, I am sure there’s an app that she can use.

The Undead can be so annoying.

Are we about to revisit Janis’ Ghost?

https://www.gocomics.com/arloandjanis/2005/02/28?ct=v&cti=2146240

Arlo my man. You should have learned by now. Nothing will do unless you get up, pretend to listen… maybe thump a wall or two. Make up something; “Just the house expanding/contracting.” Usually works, depending on the season.

I know, I know. You had to be roused from your slumber, but there are advantages. You can crawl back in bed and snuggle up (since she’s already awake) and get back to sleep.

A&J’s scenario has probably happened with lots of married couples! When we lived in an older house, we had a few times when bats got in. In bed late one night as I was nodding off, my wife said “Something just flew over us!”. My response made perfect sense, as I simply said “It’s probably a bat” and then proceeded to doze off again. That did not go over well! I could feel many brain slowly beginning to work, and gradually realized that “she wants me to get up and do something about it!”. Males can learn, it just takes them time (and experience!).

Back to a lighter note — Every now and then my wife wakes up and then wakes me. It’s our favorite quiz game, “What’s that noise?”. I usually don’t hear it, so I guess. If she’s satisfied with the answer I get to go to sleep. If her response is”No, that’s not it” then I’ve lost that round and have to seek out the source of the noise.

What does she want him to do in the middle of the night? Get out the shotgun? Burn the house down?

I had that at my apartment. Lasted for 2-3 years then finally stopped. The scratching was in the exact same place near the door.

At least Janis knows that it is good to have a man. Otherwise she would sit up all night wondering what and where it is. Like my wife, there is no “My hero, thank you!”

No thanks necessary…just doing my job, ma’am.

Woke up one morning to a loud crash from the kitchen. Crept down the stairs to peek to discover a squirrel running laps around the countertops. Husband was out of town that weekend, of course. I shut the cats in the bathroom, opened the front and back doors and tried to shoo the squirrel toward one. He instead hopped into the Franklin stove (it was summer, it wasn’t lit), and I slammed the glass door shut on it. Turns out that was how he got in, he fell down the chimney into the stove. A friend came over and put a garbage can at the front, opened the glass doors and got the squirrel to jump in there by banging in the stove. When he opened the can outside, that poor frightened squirrel flew out of there, went straight to the top of the highest tree, and was last seen leaping from tree top to tree top all across the neighborhood. I hope he learned his lesson about chimneys!

We have animals get in our walls. We put out apple cider vinegar on rags. They don’t like that. They also don’t like a lot of the oils that smell.

Sarcasm?

squirrels in the attic.