Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 11, 2020

“At least he lived a long life.”

I guess Rat is old.

We don’t ask HOW does Rat make sense.

I’d rather not think about it.

When you look in the mirror and say, who’s that old geezer?

Or if they say “I thought he was already dead!”“You know you’re getting old when your glasses are fogged up, and you don’t care!”—Bill Cosby

I want to be one of those people that lives to a very old age and when I die people say, “Wow, I saw him last week and he looked like he was doing just fine.”

I figure years ago I must be an adult because I definitely wasn’t no kid.

When you wake up and rise to a creaky crouch and wonder if it’s worth getting up.

We know that we have the firsf two panels in the book already.

I’ve been old ever since I turned 10.

It’s all been downhill from there….

Actually, nowadays the manner of death is of interest regardless of age.

For the most part, Rat’s answers are usually those of a cynic; the problem being, he’s usually right.

No one is old, they are just temporally challenged!

I knew I was old when I realized I could sleep with someone half my age and wouldn’t be breaking any laws.

(That was long enough ago that I could now sleep with someone one-third my age etc.)

LOL! It’s not often Rat makes sense!

When I die I want people to say they didn’t know that I was still alive.

It’s when people stop asking “How’ve you been?” when you meet up with them and say “You’re looking good!” instead.

You know you are old when they don’t card you to buy booze ;-) … Croc Power !

I have heard people express shock and disbelief at 90-year-olds dying. Seriously.

He was 97.

It must have been the covid

;D

You know when you’re fragile.

In Rat’s case, the most often said will be: “Finally!” :D

You and your friends know that you’re all getting on when you start remembering times past not in years but in decades…

You know your old when all TV shows were black and white, and the only remote control was telling one of your kids to turn it to a different channel.

When you say “In my time…”

“Old” was always five years older than my parents. That is until they turned 80 or so. Now old is five years older than my oldest sibling.

The only thing worse is “you mean he’s not dead yet?”

You’re born, S—- happens, you die.

I’m old. It’s okay. I have grandchildren and that makes it totally worth it.

How? corona virus

Only the good die young, so Rat’s mot concerned.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper: The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.

You know you’re old when… everyone you deal with for insurance, doctors, etc, is retired and now you’re dealing with kids.

I knew I was old when… my niece who hadn’t seen me in quite a few years looked at me with her mouth open- “You look just like your mother!” I wanted to deck her.

People are dying to get in these days…mortuary hrs…open 24/7/365

How do you know when you’re old? It’s when people ask, “You’re still alive?”

sorry, what was your name again…?

You’re gonna wake up one morning and find that you are gone.

i always say “your age is how people react when you fall down”… if they laugh, you’re young. if they rush over to see if you’re ok, you’re old

I’m there. C’est la vie. C’est la morte.

My dad, at 93, says that he is not old. Getting older, perhaps, but still not old.

How ? Reluctantly, and fighting like Hell ! (I’m 80)

“Go not gently into that good night/ rage, rage against the dying of the light..” Dylan Thomas

As an amended Scarlett said, “..after all, tomorrow may be another day.”

I’m not sure anyone would say that about me at any age. :-/

I don’t want anyone saying about me, “He died so young”. I’d rather “It’s about time!”

You know you are getting old when you ask questions like that.

you know yer getting old when your pubic hair goes grey

We all do Goat! Something about Rat making sense just never seems it sit well.

The first thing my mother would do when she got her morning newspaper was read the Irish Sports page ( The Obituaries ) to see how many people she knew who’d passed away. Her second read-of-the-day was the Police Reports – again, to see if there was anyone she knew who’d been arrested.

Those two columns formed the basis of the daily telephone gossip between her and her friends.

I once told my dad that he wasn’t older than dirt, but he was around when dirt was still shiny.

Or, “Why bother with the expense of an autopsy?”

Actually, I think people would be more likely to say that about me now; when I was young and foolish, it probably would have been more like “Yeah, figures”.

Everyone will die, only to find out they’re immortal. If it comes as a surprise, it won’t be a pleasant one :(

“He left us too late” is appropriate when certain people croak.

When I die, i want to go peacefully in my sleep….unlike everyone else in the bus I am driving!

Is being old better than being dead? I’m asking for a friend.

I am old.

“What’s it like being old?”“I’ll let you know when I get there.”

That’s better than “Well it’s dang well time!”

How do you know your old? It’s not because people no longer ask how you died, they still ask that of folks in their 70s, 80s, 90s, etc. even though they expect it to be natural causes somehow automatically associated with old age. No, you know your old when you just don’t give a ******** 75% of the time what others think. You know your really old when you just don’t give a ******* 100% of the time.

As usual, Rat nails it.

You know you’re old when, if you fall down, people coming running over to help you, instead of laughing their a$$es off.

You know you’re old when people start telling you how young you look.

I have the feeling that when I die, people will say “He was still alive?”

We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.

This is one of those strips where Rat makes some sense, and it’s scary.

Coincidentally, I read an article today (or last night) that said poll results were that by most you are considered “officially old” at age 57. That’s a bummer. Indeed, that was so long ago for me that Rat cannot shock me with any proclamation he may make….

When you remember a song or a tv show and realize it is farther in the past from today than WWII was when it came out. Given that WWII is ancient history (from your own perspective).

When you hang around guys and gals who you think are your age, but they tell you that you’re another older generation.

When you check the obits in the morning to see which one of your old friends has died, you’re old.

Nowadays it’s : was it Covid-19 or was it something else (no matter what)?