Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 30, 2021

I guess Lulu likes pineapple on pizza.

People accuse us haters of never trying pineapple on pizza. But I truly just dislike pineapple on pizza.

That is stupidity right there.

I could get along with either of them. Pig for pizza, Lulu for the conversation.

A recent discovery of mine, after forty+ years of pizza eating. Pineapple and anchovies have a nice cancelling effect on their more extreme flavors, balancing them out nicely. Something spicy for a little kick.

In a movie called Mobsters and Mormons, a mafia family goes into the Witness Protection Program and gets moved to Utah. The husband was ticked at his wife getting a pizza with pineapple.

Let’s see . . . Lulu talks about intolerance and cruelty, and then says that she dislikes the stupid, so that’s one point against her; Pig doesn’t like pineapple on pizza, which is one point in his favor. By my count, Pig wins by two points.

Why do people hate on pineapple on pizza? I love it but hardly anyone I know can stand it, lol!

At least he didn’t say, “Catsup on a hot dog”.

Haters just hate. It seems to be their reason for existing. The best thing is just to ignore them whenever possible.

It seems like she thinks this is a job interview.

She can’t tolerate intolerance.

Nothing wrong with that combination—just don’t call it pizza. I call it a pineapple-tomato torte!

“How can people be so heartless? How can people be so cruel? Easy to be hard easy to be cold”” can people have no feeling?How can they ignore their friends?Easy to be proudEasy to say noEspecially people who care about strangersWho care about evil and social injusticeDo you only care about the bleeding crowd?How about a needed friend?I need a friend”

Pig’s Anthem, as sung by Three Dog Night

I have relatives in central Illinois who actually like sauerkraut on pizza. I don’t understand why.

I’m wondering something…what.is.the.big.deal.with.pineapple.on.pizza? It’s delicious!

I’m just intrigued whether Pig likes pork on his pizza.

They weren’t on the same wavelength.

– Nor on the same level

… Possibly in different universes.

Pig tis what happens when you bring your baggage inside …

Pineapple and ham are one of my wife’s fav pizzas. Would have made more sense if Pig didn’t like nasty, salty anchovies.

I think Lulu would be very hard to get along with!

No way would I have though Pig would not like Pineapple on Pizza.

Those two are simply incompatible. Pig has no income and Lulu isn’t patible.

The paradox of tolerance ruined Pig’s date.

Oooo, interspecies romance! I love it.

LULU was a bit too much to handle for PIG! He should stick with Pigita…they have a history together…..

Hawaiian, but also add jalapeños.

Hamburger, Sausage and Pineapple on a Pizza… HEAVEN!!

Pig’s tie is always a curiosity. Could be a pacifier.

But does she dislike the Dutch?

One of the major sins: Putting pineapple on pizza

She seems a bit deep for him. Back to Pigita.

Served under swaying Canadian Palms, On the beach In Calgary. They stampede for it!

Pizza is Life… so many options, and so much joy to be had…

Perhaps she’s turned of because he is shallow. Pig will consol himself with a BLT. Ah, bacon.

Wise people hate all of those things.

Pineapple pizza? The worst kind.

She hates intolerance but is intolerant of pineapple on pizza. I can’t imagine.

Stick to dating your own species, Pig. And pineapple on a pizza is YUCK!

Hamburg, mushrooms and onions on mine, please…

Americans are just playing catch-up. On a visit to New York in 1990, my auntie visited with several natives of the Big Apple. Pizza came up and they were stunned at “ham & pineapple”. They asked “this is something you have to special order at a sympathetic restaurant, right?” “No, it’s item #9 on practically any pizza menu in Canada”. In my own experience, it was readily available on a Great Britain menu as “Polynesian Pizza”

Our society really is too divisive.

So he’s OK with ham on pizza? I bet Pigita would have something to say about that!

I remember a MAD magazine spread on pizza once (long, long before the Great Pineapple Debate). I’m sure it was more than fifty years ago, but I think of it often. It defined a pizza thus; A flatbread crust covered with tomato sauce and cheese which is then layered with any number of toppings designed to obliterate the taste of the first three ingredients. (Which may explain why beer is frequently the beverage of choice to accompany a pizza.)

I shall try pineapple on pizza the day after Megadeath releases a CD of Gordon Lightfoot covers!!

Sam Panopoulos claimed that he created the first Hawaiian pizza at the Satellite Restaurant in Chatham, Ontario, Canada in 1962. Inspired in part by his experience preparing Chinese dishes which commonly mix sweet and savoury flavours, Panopoulos experimented with adding pineapple, ham, bacon and other toppings.

All dislikes, no likes. I think Pig escaped a bad situation.

Considering Pineapple on pizza is usually accompanied by Canadian Bacon, it’s probably understandable why Pig wouldn’t like it.

Sometimes Pig seems a little too innocent but the world is a better place with him in it.

For someone who puts Intolerance at the top of her list of Dislikes, she sure seems to be a little bit picky.

Do we know just WHERE that tie is attached to Pig?

I could not care less what other people want on their pizza. Just let me have mine the way I like it. I don’t carry on if someone else has something on a sandwich or pasta dish I won’t be eating. Who cares if someone else wants pineapple? Don’t eat it if you don’t like it.

This one’s just not kosher as Lulu’s also a Rabbi.

Pizza is Italian, right? Spaghetti is Italian, right? Imagine a plate of spaghetti with marinara, or any other red sauce, with chunks of pineapple in it.

I always thought that pineapple on pizza was really good!

ha ha ha hah aha aha ha ha aha aha ha a a a a a ha hah a

Actually, I would’ve called it a night after the second panel. Anyone that smug, self-satisfied and self-righteous doesn’t need me — or anyone else. Besides, I happen to like Hawaiian pizza!

Good move…

I cannot tolerate intolerance

Lulu after pig said he dislikes pineapple on pizza: …And i took that personally

She dislikes the human race, it seems.

So, not exactly a Lulu of a date.

You might the right call, Pig. Pineapple on pizza is unforgivable.

At least Pig can actually DO SOMETHING about his dislikes!

Seems neither of them dislike inter-species relationships.

Overheard on a coach tour in Rome from two Australians, “They don’t know how to make pizza, do they? Can’t get a Hawaiian anywhere”.

Hawaiian pizza? Yumm.

I love pepperoni and pineapple pizza!!!

So her likes include being judgmental.

Pig’s response was excellent (by which I mean he agrees with me). Lulu is far too sanctimonious and narcissistic for him (or anyone). No loss, Pig….

In Japan, I have seen corn, mayonnaise, fried potatoes, and even penne pasta on a pizza. There are some things that simply do not belong on a pizza. But pineapples are fine by me.

Personally, I love pineapple on pizza—especially with ham. I ought to buy another one sometime soon …

Try to visit Naples, step inside any pizza place, and order a pizza topped with pineapple……then run away as fast as you can

Pineapple on pizza lovers, unite

Who puts tomato sauce on their oranges? Who puts cheese on their bananas? Who sprinkles garlic and oregano on their applesauce? The pineapple on pizza people, that’s who.

Second panel: Me in a nutshell. I feel my blood boil when someone mentions racism.