Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 15, 2021

Ask LeBron James how smart Cleveland is as he sits by the pool in Beverly Hills.

There’s always Smartville, but the residents might not want a Rat in town and exile Rat to the Kingdom of Id.

um… Pig, where is the R in Cleveland?

Maybe Pig should go to England, so he can Brighton up.

“If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying.”

Ichiro Suzuki

Uh, I haven’t made up my mind about Toledo.

Been there many times , trust me , not either clever or smarter than average . I grew up 100 miles east of it , & we used to try to spot a car on the street while driving through that wasn’t damaged at all : we never did find one !

If they were smarter than average, they wouldn’t live in the mistake by the lake.

Yeah. How smart can they be if they stay there?

In Germany there is a city named Essen. The word literally means “food” or “to eat”. Not far from Essen there is a city named Dortmund. This translates to “there mouth”. A few hours to the south-west there is a city named Darmstadt. It literally means “intestines city”.

Germany does have good food and beer, though. And let’s not forget the cities of Frankfurt and Hamburg. Fast food wouldn’t be the same without them.

Go to Cleverland where you can apply for work at Winfred Louder (Drew Carey Show – dang, reminded how that show has never been officially released to DVD. I would have got the set. Supposedly, it’s because of music rights licensing)

CLEVELAND?! Cleveland is what you get when you take away all the good parts of Florida! (anybody remember those FL tourism ads?)

You can always go to Phoenix; it’s pretty bright there!

No, that’s Jellystone Park, and only one bear there.

Reminds me of that song “Cleveland Rocks” from “The Drew Carey Show”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKDjis1fg8E

Cleburg? The “mistake on the Lake” where the river catches fire. I spent a whole year there one night… There were some smart & frisky women in Shaker Hts., however…

The dumb person that’s doing the most ruin to Rat is none other than …

Nice try with the Cleverland … Pig ;-)

Cleveland does have a beautiful National Park. https://www.nps.gov/cuva/index.htm

Cleveland Rocks

Smartness is not in Rat’s vocabulary.

I went to Cleveland a couple of times back in the eighties. The two things that stand out the most in my mind (at least for that time period) are the the gangs and the drugs.

No, no they do not.

I wouldn’t bet on it.

They will cleave unto you too.

Don’t bet on it.

No good comes out of Cleveland. My first, late, not-so-great, unlamented, ex-wife came from there!

“Cleveland imports one spice – salt. And they use it on the roads in the winter.” As told to me by one born and raised there.

Hey! Watch it BUB! Cleveland is the best location in the nation! We ROCK!

That depends on how many bears are there.

Go to Lake Wobegon where everyone is above average.

I thought Cleve land was a city split in 2.

I don’t know about the people, but I have heard their football team has finally turned a corner after 20 years of failure.

Better than Cleaver-land!

Remember Carlin’s Law:“You know how stupid the average person is? Just remember, by definition half of them are stupider than that!”

‘Dumb people’ is redundant.

A lot of cleve people come from Cleverland.

wait a minuite…

If they are smarter than average, why in the world are they living in Cleveland??

Isn’t that a Garrison Keillor bit about Lake Wobegon where all of the kids are above average?

What’s the wickedest city in Ohio? Sin-Sin-Naughty!

Don’t hold your breath. Cleveland is pretty much the same in cleverness as any city its size……

Average ain’t sayin’ much.

From what I’ve heard, it’s hot in Cleverland.

A low bar.

Ummmm…NO.

Now I’m thinking of Cleveland Brown from Family Guy and it’s spinoff The Cleveland Show

The river ignites every once in a while, so it can’t be all bad!

Well, Pig, I am sure they are smarter than you.

As long as they don’t try to send me to Toledo again; fell for that once already! No such place!

Frankly, I would prefer clevageland.

I think the people of Cleveland must be pretty smart to conger up a mythos that keeps undesirables happy to be where they are and out of their back yard.

Would more likely go there for the cleev-age

I thought it a little too much, hoping for a cleverland in the modern USA. Alas, here in the Great Downunder, we seem to be following your lead in silliness and cleverland is hard to find here as well. I guess we all live in hope though.

Amazing number of comments. I have never visited, but they have a great radio station online, WCLV.

Cleveland. The mistake by the lake.

You don’t know Cleveland, Pig! I’ve been to Cleveland; they’re not smarter than average….

Cleverland rocks.