Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 18, 2021

I’m still surviving on the the Mets signing Max Scherzer. The news is 3 weeks old but you take what you can get.

Rat the forever optimist.

Here’s a better version: Rat will die eventually.

No one gets out alive.

Pig, you forgot who Rat really is!

give Rat 1 star on Yelp pig!

Me too, Pig.

$5. That’s not change.

See, it’s Rat. So any good news is good because Rat likes it.

How about the Persian adage (so says Wikipedia) “This too shall pass”?

Sorry pig, how about “and your little dog Toto too.”

No one wants to come here, and no one wants to leave.

Life is nothing but toil and trouble and pain and sorrow — and it’s all over much too quickly.

Oh, there is more.

Congress will defund Social Security and everyone, rich and poor alike, will pay the same amount in taxes under President Putin.

and it might be sooner than you think. Omygod aka omicron is the herd triumphant, you really don’t want.

As the saying goes, “No news is good news.”

Good news spelled backwards is SWEN DOOG.

Good News now would be to get a refund.

Pig, this is Rat. What did you expect?!

5$ for the obvious? Rat will make a “killing”!

We all did, pig. That’s why we have to lie to ourselves about what happens after.

I hoped for less. Rat should have restricted that to “Even your worst enemy will die.”

I used to have a bumper sticker that read: “Spoiler Alert…Everybody Dies.”

Pig might have expected more from Lucy and Pig would have paid less.

Rat where is your Magic 8 ball ?

Never get pep talk from that guy.

Pig: I thought you were going to tell me something I DIDNT know!

Life is an STD with a 100% fatality rate.

Rat is 100% correct, whether we like it or not.

Dying is the only good news with Amtrak Brandon in charge.

Amtrak Brandon, he’s the one,

Amtrak Brandon, he will flush your country down the drain,

Amtrak Brandon!

Pig will fall for anything

Five dollars?? Prices have gone up since Lucy charged Charlie Brown a nickel.

Demand a refund

Too bad Lucy doesn’t charge $5 for advice at her booth in the Peanuts comic strip world.

Rat tries his hand as sidewalk soothe sayer.

OK, you’re alive right now. Goes for everyone reading this. And The Count is thankful for that and you should be, too.

I believe Lucy Van Pelt charged .05 – my how inflation has changed things!

Physically we die, but not our spirit. The real question is where we will spend eternity.

Five dollars? Now Rat can buy something from the “Dollar” Store.

Cheer up! The worst is yet to come.

…and so it goes.

Not real cheery but it IS something to look forward to…..

It’s like what Captain Nemo said in Disney’s version of “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea”, “There is hope for the future. And when the world is ready for a new and better life, all this will someday come to pass, in God’s good time.”

From Rat? Seriously..

Here’s some actual good news: tomorrow we can enjoy the Sunday comics!

Kinda reminds me of Revelation 21:3,4 that God promises a time when death will be no more

Stephan is depressed again…

Seems all the Pearls strips sound the same everyday. Just Rat bit jin about life.

Why would you expect more from Rat, Pig?

:)

I think Rat is overcharging by a decimal point.

Pig will be shredded pork!

I would like to revisit my comment on yesterday’s episode. Rat shows here that maybe some people shouldn’t return to their pre-pandemic ‘normal’.

So, we won’t get out of this life alive?

Five bucks for that nothingburger of “advice”? That booth bait has really inflated since since Lucy Van Pelt ran the establishment. Rat’s is a “take the suckers, buy more beer” scheme….

Indeed! Prepare to meet your Maker. If you’re properly prepared, it will be the most wonderful experience of your eternity.

that is good news!

It does have a certain “one side of the spectrum” reality to it.