Frazz by Jef Mallett for December 28, 2021

Apples

Florida gets the senior citizens and hurricanes.

And extra helpings of sun, humidity, alligators in swimming pools, snowbirds, cruise ships, . . .

They get hurricanes, retirees and nearly unsurfable waves.

and that guy.

^Headlines starting with “Florida man…”

You just need to sweeten the pot.

80F today, and something called pickleball. Don’t know about you, but I like mine dill.

They get Ron DeSantis.

60 years later oranges still fill the toe of the stockings?

They get Florida Man.

Florida man.

My grandparents always put oranges and apples in the toes of the stockings when we would have Christmas at their house I guess some people still use that tradition. It makes a cool looking stocking anyway. My stepmom usually uses Christmas socks, a stuffed animal, or something else fluffy to fill/fluff up the toe of the stocking/make it look right.

As best I can tell, peyote in the drinking water.

Let Florida have the hurricanes. I cn deal with the snow more easily.

Retirees.

Turns out there is a Maple Syrup shortage and Canada had to tap into their Maple Syrup Strategic Reserve to make sure there was enough for the holidays. Stop Laughing!! It is a real thing, eh?

Loons

Whatever it is, it appears to cause brain damage.

Florida does have some down sides for athletes and cyclists in particular. Chatting with a south Florida bike shop employee, I asked if he cycled to work. He said no for two reasons: with all the swamps, they lack the secondary road network for safe cycling, and they don’t get the long summer daylight of the Great White North.

I agree with Bugs Bunny when he sawed Florida off the continent.

Winters….

apples

They get the same thing Southern California gets: two seasons. The first is summer, the second is non-summer.

Florida gets all the grumpy, middle aged and older, middleclass, mediocre, fatbellied, pensioners of the rest of the US. One can hope for the rising oceans.

I was born in Florida…. AND GOT OUT ALIVE

I send my kids, grand kids and some others, ten pounds of Satsuma Mandarins each year. The love them, only grown in one place, southern Placer County California, ripen late October, only a few left after December, most growers sold out by then. There is a Mandarin Festival in Auburn.

Florida oranges are mostly used for juicing. Eating oranges are usually from California.

Cruise ships, often full of Covid virus. At least, I don’t think any of them come to Detroit.

New Yorkers

Hurricanes and snowbirds