Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 25, 2022

He has also mastered the art of writing unnecessary angry letters.

russia is waging war against ukraine

A little like the seat belt demonstration on airplanes…

Rat has a point. And some phone messages go on and on before you get to leave a message.

Rat understands phone messaging, and need to rule the dummy corporations! Go, Rat.

How do you “hang up” a cell phone anyway?

I love it.

Actually not with rat on this one…. Stupidity knows no bounds

My mom has to retrain my brother every time he does the dishes.

My answering message would be something like: "Press 1 for French. Press 2 for Russian. Press 3 for Japanese. Press 4 for Mandarin. Press 5 for Cantonese. Press 6 for Spanish. Press 7 for Tagalog. Press 8 for Bengali. Press 9 for Ukrainian. Press 10 for Inuktitut. Press 11 for Latin. Press 12 for Pig Latin….. " and so on, up to “Press 83 for American English”. Then it would repeat in each of the language choices.

I always knew they had a useful purpose!

If good comics help move society forward, what do comics like this one do?

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Got it. Contents sold by weight not by volume may settle. Got it.

Croc Power should make us laugh on those rare days when Stephan uses it ;-) Need more Crocs :-)

I don’t like the lousy music they play when on hold, and sometimes the music sounds like a 1920s recording all scrtchy!

“Your call is important to us” + Then why am I on hold?

Tell them to dispense with the “Your call is important to us” as well.

Along with the message is “we are experiencing unusually high call volumes” which plays no matter when you call.

3) Do not expect a return phone call.

I usually reverse the order:

1. hang up

2. recite a message that moves society forward by never being received by the other party.

i took a cue from the gal i was calling for a date who told me not to call her when her dad was at home. my phone message was please stop calling me when i’m not at home…

Rat for the social.

That recording following a personal “Sorry I missed you. Leave me a message.” message. It’s SO frustrating. I’m with Rat!

And the BAD ones make the angels cry.

Shouldn’t he be texting or tweeting or some other such thing?

Great, Stephan, now let’s work on awful on-hold music.

just as airlines give instructions on how to buckle a seat belt!

That was very well written.

Moving on..

I always say “f… u” after I hung up. I wonder why nobody heeds my advice.

When I receive a robo-call there is always a gap between when I pick-up and a human comes on the line; the gap is long enough if the call has gone to voice for the caller to miss the message to leave a message so most callers are puzzled when they get no response and repeat hello 3 or 4 times.

How long have we had “close cover before striking”? Yet some people still don’t get it.

I wonder how long before these phones lose the speaking function. The young dont know how to do it anyhow

Also, a note regarding tail-gating in the slow lane would also be helpful.

Back in the day of physical answering machines in your home, I put on for my outgoing message “You know what to do.”

The first week, I had 3 people leaved the message of “But what if I don’t know what to do?” So I changed it to “My message used to be ‘you know what to do’ but clearly some people don’t. You wait for the beep and then you leave a message and then you hang up the phone. You do not hang up the phone and then leave a message. It does not work that way.”

People left messages implying that was passive aggressive.

Years ago a friend’s answering machine message was simply: “You know what to do.” (beep)

But would you have mastered it so well without all the repeating?

Thank god for the comics!

Next, let the airlines know that we understand seat belts.

Rat wrote a polite letter without profanity? Has Rat changed?

3. press 2 for english

Solid point, now if I can get my former fellow boomers to quit leaving me 5 second messages telling me to call them.

If that’s the case, Rat, then where are more puns?

I recently got a new cell phone, maybe in November? I have yet to listen to any messages left on it. I really should make an outgoing message that says I am unlikely to listen to it and to either call back or text me. I am easily reached, just try again or text is the point. Anyone who knows me knows that. Yesterday I had 4 fax calls – I heard nothing but beeps – from 4 different numbers in 4 different area codes. They were all blocked in seconds, but it was a little disconcerting and very annoying.

I tell robo-calls “Haven’t been attacked by a squid yet.” That makes them hang up quickly.

This reminds me of George Carlin: Complaints & Grievances back in 2001. “When you record your outgoing message, don’t bother telling me you can’t come to the phone. I understand that. Apparently, that’s why we have these machines.”

And when a good comic strip is created someday, maybe we will move forward…..

Best phone message I’ve heard went something like, “George here. Talk.” I tried it briefly, but my better half thought it was too impolite so I deferred to her wishes and changed it.

True on all counts!!

Damn right, every thing I learned was through the comic section and sports high lights!

I hate it when I dial someplace and get an outgoing message that takes five minutes! Always redundant and non-applicable!

WAAAAY back I heard someone’s answer machine message: “This is the ’90s. You know what to do.” And THAT was the NINETIES, fer gosh sakes.

What I really hate are the company messages that tell you to leave a message at the beep, and give a pause for you to get your message started in your head. THEN, they interrupt your entire thought process with “additional instructions” such as how to leave a callback number, and ending with the ever-so-helpful “When finished, you may or hang up.” Really, I can hang up when finished? And you made me lose my entire train of thought to tell me THAT?!?!

At least the voicemail instructions are more realistic than writing a complaint to a conglomerate like the phone company.

And if my call were really important to you, you’d have a real person to answer it

But….but…..Rat, what if you hear a beep instead of a tone? What happens THEN?!!

My message used to spoof the “I know what you’re thinking” speech from “Dirty Harry”. It went something like, “I know what you’re thinking — is he really gone or just screening the call. But seeing this is an answering machine, you’ve got to ask yourself a question — should I leave message? Well, should you?” (And then, of course, the “Wait for the beep” reminder.)

Rat’s next letter: “Place your item in the bagging area” over and over again at Kroger self-checkouts.

Writing to your phone company won’t do a thing. It’s the other guy’s phone, or phone company, that has the messages and makes the recordings.

Wash, rinse, repeat. There’s some moron still in the shower!

I thought this comic was sort of a vaccine against bad puns, moving society foward by reducing the pain.

What would you know about that, Rat? You are one of the most anti-social major characters employed by Cartoon-Boy!

We appreciate every little attempt to help, thank you.

Yes! Telephone companies- please listen to Rat!

WELL, I GUESS IT’S CLEAR TO EVERYONE THAT TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME IS ALIVE AND WELL CLEARLY ONE FULL YEAR AFTER 45 LEFT OFFICE. TRUMP STILL LIVES RENT FREE IN SO MANY LIBERALS HEADS THAT TO SAY TDS IS CURABLE WOULD BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT. TRUMP2024 WILL DRIVE MORE LIBERALS TO INSANITY…CAN’T WAIT!!!

Okay, so this comment is to keep humanity’s problems out of the comments section. (Stuff about Russia and Ukraine) if you want to participate, go and click Show All Comments. I support Ukraine. But comics should be an escape from humanity. Now somebody start another topic in the reply section