Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 29, 2022

Who’s holding his beer ?

I guess the upside is he doesn’t have to explain it. She might.

He didn’t lose his mojo…it ran away.

“Getting to the BOTTOM is an important part, too.” —Edmund Hillary, widely thot to be the 1st person to reach the top of Mount Everest (in 1953), remark upon being informed in 1999 that George Mallory might have reached the summit in 1924 but froze to death on the way back

She didn’t put much effort into stopping him. The outcome may have been secretly hoped for.

Did he at least give her some time to take out a new life insurance policy?

Look at it this way – when she finally shows up in a decade or two. He will have to endure an eternity of hearing “And I told him not to do it” when relaying the events to the other people

Should have at least removed the tire.

Be interesting to see exactly how that rig was intended to work. But then, nonsense is nonsense, and it does little good to try to understand it.

“We have a special section for you.”

If you have to go down to the basement and rummage around in storage boxes for your mojo you won’t find it. And, if you imagine you have, it won’t be working.

I’ve said it before – Rule 1 – Your wife is always right; Rule 2 – Refer to Rule 1.

Obviously he didn’t stick the landing…

And the winner of the 2022 Darwin Award goes to…

Sometimes you have to Tilt at those Windmills ! ( Of course the Horse may have different ideas on this endeavor /s !!!!! )

Wife joins the Merry Widows club.

My wife is an excellent partner for me. She knows how to manipulate me to a “T.” Mostly it is with facts, logic and common sense. It’s amazing how much those things work on me.

There is one thing on which she put her foot down and simply forbade me to do: ride a motorcycle. She worked in the emergency room as a student nurse. She saw all kinds of people come in with issues from heart attacks to one man who checked himself in with a gun shot wound to his head.

She also saw an assembly of body parts that used to be a motorcycle rider come in.

I am paranoid when it comes to sharing the road with motorcycle riders: they are difficult to see, they can outmaneuver me (stop shorter) and there is not such thing as a “fender bender” with a motorcycle. Also I can’t tell if I’m with someone who knows what s/he is doing or some idiot. I’ve never driven a motorcycle, but I do suspect it takes more skill than riding a bicycle.

I gave in. In our 50 years of marriage, we’ve had a lot of “fights” but this was on battle I left uncontested.

Number one cause of death in married males over the age of 60.

Perhaps the Deluxe Professional model of propeller beanie would have made the difference.

Darwin Award winner!

So, the second childhood may be hazardous to your health.

better to burn out, than rust away … Geronimo!

She should have known this was going to happen some day. He kept a box labeled, “Stunt stuff”.

Mr. Mojo fallin’…

“Hey guys watch this. Hold my beer for me.”

Will not admitting the truth send him to the other place?

I assume there was another tree across from the cliff that he tied the rope to. That is a big achievement itself

That’s just it, you don’t get to tell people the funny story of how you died. And the angels have heard it all … the other guys have heard it all too.

Reminds me of when my dad wanted to show my daughter how he could sit on his handlebars and ride his bike backwards.

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, “I know what I’m doing.”

Three dead guys are in line waiting to get into heaven.

Before they go in, St. Peter asks them how did they die.

So he asks the first man and the first man says, “Well I’ve suspected for a while that my wife had been cheating on me with another man so I came home early from work on purpose. When I got back to the apartment she was lying naked in bed like she had just been having sex. So I checked under the bed and there was no one there. I checked in the closet and there was no one there, so I looked on the balcony and there was some naked guy hanging from the railing. I got so angry I stomped on his hands until he fell, then I ran back in the apartment, grabbed the refrigerator, brought it back out, and dropped over the railing right on top of him. Then I was so mad I had a heart attack and died and came here.”

St. Peter said, “It sounds like you’ve had it rough, so I’ll let you in.”

The next man walks up and gets asked the same question. So this man says, “I’m exercising in the nude on my balcony when I slipped and fell over the railing. I was able to grab onto the railing of the apartment below me but then this guy starts stomping on my hands until I fall. Then he goes and dumps this refrigerator on me and I wound up here.”

St. Peter lets this guy in too because he has also had it rough.

Then the third guy comes up and is also asked the question. This guy replies, “Okay, so I’m banging this married chick when the husband comes home early. So I go and hide in the refrigerator…”

I know it’s a cartoon but i find it a little sad., too much mindless death in the news today

Next stop – the Last Words Cemetary.

I suppose this cartoon means that unicycles are allowed into heaven, including the dummy that rode it there.

If you gotta go, you might as well make it an interesting story.

Yeah but he did get his mojo even if it was just for a short time……

Why such a person deserves even an interview at the Pearly Gates is beyond me.

A very definite lesson here

A Propeller Beanie. So his Frat Days were in the 1950s.

That would make him almost 90 years old.

We finally get to see one of these characters behind Wiley’s tombstone comics. Wonder if this will be followed up with a Wiley’s tombstone comics.

He should have done what some middle-aged men do: go out and buy a big mojo-cycle.

I always wanted one of those three-wheeled motorcycles but I couldn’t grow a big enough belly. :)

It was the beanie! I was adding lift instead of downforce and his weight wasn’t enough to keep his balance in check……and lying to St. Peter may get him a suite at the Mar-a Lago Hotel in Hell.

The comeback of Super Dave Osborne has been indefinitely postponed