Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 04, 2023

From where is Wile E. Coyote going to get his supplies?

You’d think the Acme Company would make its headquarters bomb-proof.

And someone will do this now and blame Pastis…what a world!

I can’t stop emails from a game show, subscribed with an old email address, not the updated one from my same ISP. Last resort is snail mail.

Luckily he didn’t use an Acme detonator and dynamite – he would probably had blown himself up…

A jury of his peers will find him innocent.

If only it was that easy.

Hmm nice try, but that won’t work, Rat. Most unsolicited email systems are located someplace without United States jurisdiction. Not to mention, they’re on redundant redundant backup servers worldwide. Good luck finding and squashing them all.

MOOBAK

That’s what spam filters are for.

Also, you can get “throw away” emails so that when a potential spammer demands an email you give them one of those, and it works for as long as they behave themselves, then when they succumb you just turn that one off and they get bounce notifications. Works a charm.

What’s just as bad are the spam phone calls that, if you answer, it wants you to wait on hold for the salesman.

Spam can be eliminated. Proof of Concept: All that pump-and-dump stock-scam spam you no longer receive. They changed the rules, removed the money, and that kind of spam stopped. (Only after some researchers published papers showing the stock scams were like printing money. Mathematically a sure thing.)

So why doesn’t any one offer a more general system to go after the spammers money? Basically cut the spammers away from the suckers. LOTS of people hate spam, but there are only a few suckers. The spammers don’t care how many millions of other people are annoyed, and the spam filters obviously don’t work, but the google and MS think “Live and let spam!” is more profitable. Or maybe it’s just some kind of professional courtesy to the scammers?

Now wear is Wiley Coyote going to order his gadgets now ACME is gone? Beep! beep!

After I’ve unsubscribed, I will mark any further emails as spam, so that they disappear forever and damage the business’s ‘reputation’, meaning that the more of us do that, the more likely the emails will be labelled spam automatically, protecting future people.This is the 21st century. They can unsubscribe you with one click, and that takes nanoseconds. Any delay is for them to send you their special “This guy’s escaping” emails.

ACME had it coming,

Singed,

Wile E Coyote

I just delete them whenever I can.

The RAT rules : )

Today is National Cheese Day! I am thinking of Pig and his love of cheese. I love cheeses, too.

Funny. When Wiley E Coyote used Acme products, they often self-destructed.

Please take a short survey on your experience as your opinion matters.

“Michaels” head office, here I come. BOOM!

What store sells T.N.T. and ignition plungers?

If your email app doesn’t have a handy button that says, “Mark As Spam,” you’re using the wrong app. Marking it as spam won’t stop it from coming in the future, but it will go straight into your spam box and you’ll never see it unless you look in your spam box every couple of months or so.

Then you click on “Empty Spam Box – Are You Sure?”

Sure… because those “companies” have addresses… :D

Wrong response Steph, your response may get you a life sentence in prison!

Can we do that to the headquarters of the butt deodorant and the fat suction company? Would it stop the TV ads as well as the spam?

“Why do you wish to unsubscribe?”

“Because I never asked for your emails in the first place, you idiots.”

He is using the wrong stuff. Dynamite is more stable and works just as well. TNT is unstable and can go off and any time.

Maybe if Wile E. Coyote tried to blow up Acme headquarters, his dynamite might actually work as intended.

Now, were those explosives MADE by ACME?

By the way: ACME= A Company Making Everything.

Of course then he got crushed in a shower of anvils.

Now, now, we shouldn’t promote violence in any way these … are you listening to me? Hey, don’t give me that attitude! Oh yeah, wise guy? Ha! Take that! and that! Oh dear, the next comic might be slightly delayed.

Shouldn’t there be anvils and rockets flying out of the exploding building?

I rarely get any spam, but I also never give out my email address without setting preferences to “NO”.

It may be a time saver, but also a heck of a lot more illegal.

Oh, dear. If he blows up Acme, then where will Wile E. Coyote’s shop for supplies to try thwarting the Roadrunner?

SPAM…

Not that I’m condoning Rat’s behavior, BUT if any of you folks happen to live near The Seattle Times………..

If only it was as easy as blowing up the building.

OK. And it might take up to 10 days for me to quit posting negative reviews of your company. Sound fair?

I give them one chance to unsubscribe me. After that I just flag them as SPAM and I don’t see them anymore. (Works for me.)

Jokes on him, their server is elsewhere.

I’m up to 993 phrases in my headers filter.

I can only dream …. This long retired IT & EE never replies to strangers, and I have added Surveys.

And, then if you did buy something from them, you get everlasting emails to review whatever it was you bought. Extremely intrusive.

Perfect!

I walked into a shoe shop the other day, didn’t buy anything, didn’t get my phone out, when I got home I had ads from that shop, talk about Big brother!!!

The TNT and activator should say “ACME” on them.

A

Company that

Makes

Everything.

Wile E Coyote will be devastated. He was their biggest customer.

I don’t LIKE SPAM!!!! However, I have heard good thing about ACME from a coyote.

That probably still won’t work….

Stephan, Thanks for a solution to the problem!

The problem with unsubscribing is that unless you actually leave your info on file with them, the whole process restarts every time you make a purchase. Fortunately, the sites I use don’t pull the stunts Rat shows. They are all one or two clicks and immediate satisfaction.

The trouble is, Law Enforcement tends to frown upon mad bombers. On the other hand, Acme is well-known for its explosive mishaps, falling anvils, and other dubious devices….

Won’t help. The company that does the emails is in a different location.

What grinds my gear is that they sign you up in a flash, but unsubscribe somehow in this day and age takes “weeks”?

I can relate. I just class them as spam and let my email client delete them afterwards.

Then there’s the unsubscribe links that mysteriously give you an error message when you try to unsubscribe…grrr!

That’s the end of Wile E. Coyote’s supply source.

That wouldn’t work, they outsource that kind of thing these days.

Wile E Coyote is now upset….