Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for October 28, 2023

Calvin is going to spend the rest of his life trying to keep his eyes open when he sneezes.

Gross? Yes. Something that Calvin will keep trying to do until he does? Absolutely!

“A Dad’s Guide to the Universe”…..

Good thing he didn’t say “Sneezing with your eyes open builds character.”

I think the same author wrote The Husband Wife Translator Book. (The left facing page says “Honey, I’m home from the grocery store!” The right facing page says “Get your lazy butt off the couch and bring in the groceries!”)

Hey! How come we mothers don’t get a handbook like that?!!

Dad’s getting a head start on being a Grandpa.

Then there’s the chapter that advises dads that are pacing the floor with a colicky kid to hourly switch the kid’s screaming into your other ear so that your hearing loss in your old age is balanced (but still not fair).

And I guess this book was written by “Eyegor” of the “Young Frankenstein” movie…

What is the likelihood that dad actually thought up this answer ahead of time? Could he have anticipated that Calvin would ask this question, then decided on the “to keep them in your head” strategy?

How about the “book you get when you become a dad”? Could that be a stock response?

My dad told me that all this stuff is taught in Father School.

Clearly skipped the chapter on lying.

So if you don’t close your eyes when you sneeze, you’ll look like a Tex Avery cartoon. Got it.

I feel that I really need to know where to get a copy of the book :)

People like Calvin’s dad must be how some superstitions get started.

That’s exactly what my fathering manual said, and that’s exactly what my kids learned from me.

Google: When stimulated, the brain stem’s sneeze center orders muscle contractions from esophagus to sphincter. That includes the muscles controlling the eyelids. Some sneezers even shed a few tears. Perhaps people close their eyes while sneezing to prevent the expelled particles from entering their eyes.

These days it would be an e-book…

Chapter 1. “You live in a fishbowl. Your children will rarely do as you say, but they will do as you do.”

Calvin is his father’s son…

I thought for sure Calvin would like that and try to make it happen.

He would be really scary holding his eyeballs in his hands at Halloween.

I didn’t get the book!!!

I love giving off the wall answers to our children and grandchildren. They mostly see right through them but its fun to see their expressions and hear their responses.

Which Fathers book did you get? The “Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child” manual or the “All It Takes Is Love” handbook?

If such a book existed and young men actually read it, most of us would get vasectomies.

And Dad knows the book well.

Calvin might enjoy (parts of) the movie, Brother From Another Planet. The alien could remove an eyeball and place it somewhere like a hidden camera. Later he could replace his eyeball and see what had transpired in the eyeball’s view.

ROFLMAO!

It’s no small wonder Calvin is the way he is.

Where’s that book? I can’t find it anywhere! I’d at least be happy if I could a hand the Cliff Notes of it!

Oh, if only there was a handbook…

( ̯ ) ----☉----⚆

Calvin’s father must have been exactly like Calvin as a child.

Obviously, Dad knows Calvin very well…

Brilliant! Nice to see dad get an occasional shot in

Like father, like son.

This actually has some truth to it.

He’s really an awful father, but very funny. He didn’t want kids anyway.

I wonder if Guillermo Del Toro was reading this as he was writing Pan’s Labyrinth.

LOVE IT!!! ☺️❤️

Wait…. I never got my book. My kids are all grown now. I guess it’s too late.

In my memory of reading these comics the first time, I remember the parents as kind but overwhelmed people. Reading these comics again in my older years, the parents are just a$$h0les.

Nowadays it’s called the Internet.

Eyeballs are chapter 10 – it’s next to the chapter on DAD JOKES

And what he doesn’t know, he makes up ;)

I love Dad’s explanations. My favorite was his explanation of why old photographs were in black & white.

He asked ChatGPT.

He’ll try to stop sneezing because he doesn’t want his brains to fly out

Wait, what? There’s a book? I raised 2 kids and never got any book! Certainly not an owner’s manual, much less a teach-life-lesson-plan book.

Yeah, the last time it happened to me when I did that it took me three weeks to recover.

I’ve wondered that myself. But I don’t believe Dad’s explanation.

Dad is my favorite character in the strip.

My Pops is 87 and still pulls stuff like this. He told me so many dad fibs as a kid sometimes I still believe them.

My dad was like this when I was a kid…