Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 20, 2024

Hemingway wasn’t that exciting.

That mailman could use a good head-butting from the Goat.

For me, I guess, the saying TRULY APPLIES: “old habits are hard to break…” (with regards to the mailman’s behavior!!!!) Dan aka…

Of course his writing is boring. it’s the tax return of an honest person.

Still not happy with showing bad postal employees. How about a ’toon denigrating DeJoy??

Pesky postman should be fired for this breach of privacy.

His grammar got run over.

Brutal mailman. If Goat goes mental on the mailman is that still called going postal?

The mailman’s got all the ethics of a food delivery driver.

Federal offense reading other’s mail!

And why does the Mailman have a hard hat?!

Hemingway really was a big artist. He even made a bullfight look boring.

The idea of a postman coming to your house to pick up your mail bemuses me.

Mailman Moe seems to be trying to look like Hemingway in his older years, from the looks of it.

We only read the postcards. The ones originating from prison are the best.

True story: one time I delivered a letter from jail to a lady on my route. Next day that letter was hanging from the mailbox with this written on it, “Refused SAVE THE LIES FOR YOUR WIFE!”

Really, that’s no different that what all of the “free” email services are doing. They all read your email to see if they contain any suggestion as to what you might be flim-flamed into buying. Privacy died at Gmail etc., and at Google and many others in general, a long time ago. If it’s “free,” YOU are what’s for sale…

I don’t think they read mail so much as throw it away.

Pastis should know better than to mess with United States postal workers.

Not a bad thing at all considering the way Hemingway went out. Speaking of which… Happy Birthday Kurt Cobain.

Hah… they barely have the time to scan the address.

Moe is gonna get knocked out with his hat one of these days…

You can’t read someone else’s mail, that’s a federal offense.

For answers, check with CIA, FBI, DHS, Russia, China, N Korea, etc.

Isn’t that a federal offense?

He’s a government employee. He can what he wants, with no consequences. He’s not even elected.

I’ll be sure to send e-mails from now on… unless Mailman Moe can suddenly hack.

Mailman and editor rolled into one!

When I was driving down the expressway and went under those electronic money collecting thingies, a bell rang. You know, for Whom the Bell Tolls.

At least he isn’t tossing everything in the bag into a dumpster.

Isn’t that supposed to be illegal?

To ensure privacy, send an e-mail.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ex-CIA employee? Nope! Still on the payroll…

He can get his point across by writing a letter about Mailman Moe

You need shorter sentences to compete with Hemingway.

He wasn’t shooting for Hemingway, probably Kerouac

I will never understand the obsession with Hemingway; he wasn’t a writer, he was a journalist. His dry, colorless scribblings bore me far more than Goat’s letter would, I’m sure. Want a great writer? Try Wm. Faulkner; Kurt Vonnegut; Christopher Moore; Terry Prachett; Caleb Carr; George R.R. Martin; J.R.R. Tolkien; Ken Bruen; Patrick Rothfuss; Patrick O’Brian; Ken Kesey; Hunter S. Thompson……(I’ll stop now, as I could overflow the internet with writers better at the craft than ol’ Ernie).

Surprised Goat is still writing letters in 2024, and I thought he was “hip” with the “kids”….

They commonly do that if we mess up the extra 4-digit code.

Mailman Joe may have to pay a syntax.

In elementary school, we had to write a letter using the proper form, where the return address was, signature, etc., and turn it in for the teacher to grade. I sealed mine, and when the teacher asked me why, I told her it was a personal letter! Needless to say, I got an F. HA!

I just want the mailman to read the Post-it notes I stick on the misdelivered mail reading “POSTAL CARRIER: PLEASE RE-DELIVER.”

How to know if your mail carrier is a moonlighting FBI agent.

That is one funky lookin Mailman.

They had an episode of THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY where Lori was acting as a student teacher for Danny’s English class. Danny told Keith she was criticizing his work harder than the other kids. Keith had Danny plagiarize a short story by Hemingway. Lori gave it a D. They tell Mom, “She gave Ernest Hemingway a D!”

We shouldn’t be nosy spies, either.

What’s a Hemmingway?