Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for May 26, 2024

See, folks, here is your “it’s just a comic strip” comic strip. It’s Ed being a luddite and getting miffed when it becomes a spectacle. End scene. These six panels today have more consistency and coherence in tone than the strip has otherwise had in the past month if not longer.

It really is this easy. And it really is that bad when he fails to keep it this easy – because it is that easy.

Well, there have been news stories for the past year or so about how sales of music cassettes are on the rise among younger listeners and how tapes and the Sony Walkman are making a semi-comeback, so it makes perfect sense that Batiuk would trot out a tiresome “Hahaha, old geezer is using outmoted tech in public” routine with Harry Dinkle and his…hey, wait a minute! Red trucker’s cap? Pockmarked schnozz? Underwear as gym shorts? That’s not Dinkleberg! It’s Ed! Ed Crankshaft! The man this strip was supposed to be about! He’s back for his weekly cameo! Hi, Ed!!!

Also, in case anyone was wondering, the rare device that Funky lost in a treadmill tragedy back in April of 2021 over in the other strip was a Discman for CDs, not a Walkman for cassettes.

When Ed slips and is hurled onto the floor by the runaway treadmill, the distance he travels will be measured by—the Slide Rule!

“Hey, check this out, you crazy under-45 year olds! This guy’ s gonna KNAP some FLINT so he can tie spearheads to sticks and hunt WOOLLY MAMMOTHS!”

You know you’re an Unwilling Plugger when every strip you read involves jokes about old people complaining about petty things that bother no one except the strip’s author! Stay tuned for Tom’s expose, “These CVS receipts are So Long! And it costs so much to fax them!”

A Walkman? Do tape cassettes last that long? I transferred all of mine to disc about twenty years ago, along with all my old 78s.

Definitely, a Classic

Everyone, hurry over and watch the dinosaur listen to music.

It’s kinda fun being an old geezer…

That reminds me… I still have lots of 78s that I haven’t yet downloaded.

I could say, “not to mention the LPs”, except that I just did mention them.

It’ll happen to you too, lady!

Me never see tape cassette or players in ages.

Having lived through the cassette era, I’ve only heard it called a ‘cassette tape’ not “tape cassette.” Maybe it was a regional thing.

Nice to see ya Ed. Till next Sunday then. Have a good week!

Hurry, the batteries didn’t last very long in those.

Those that can’t do…criticize those that do. You are one of those who can’t do. You are obviously one of those who have never said anything positive about anyone in your life. I feel sorry for your family…if you have one.

…….the old becomes new!!!!

And the very first number on Ed’s Walkman is….

Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom

Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

It was a night like this forty million years ago

I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go

The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice

I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice

And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

I met you in a cave, you were painting buffalo

I said I’d be your slave, follow wherever you go

That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars

You fell asleep, I stayed awake and watched the passing cars

And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody walk the dinosaur

One night I dreamed of New York

You and I roasting blue pork

In the Statue of Liberty’s torch

Elvis landed in a rocket ship

Healed a couple of leapers and disappeared

But where was his beard?

A shadow from the sky much too big to be a bird

A screaming crashing noise louder than I’ve ever heard

It looked like two big silver trees that somehow learned to soar

Suddenly a summer breeze and a mighty lion’s roar

I killed the dinosaur, I killed the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody kill the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody kill the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

Everybody kill the dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor

E

Leave Ed alone to exercise and listen to his music.

Fun fact: before there was the “Walkman,” there was the “Soundabout.” Sony’s first attempt at a personal cassette player had a few interesting features the “classic” one did not. The packaging was a bit high-end, with more plasti-chrome and a more upscale appearance (in keeping with its $200 price tag). There were two volume sliders on the side, so you could adjust the channels separately. Most curiously, there was a button you could press that would reduce the volume of the music, turn on a microphone, and mix that sound with the music, so you could hold a conversation while the music was playing. I think Sony was more than a little concerned that people walking around with headphones on might lose track of the outside world.

Anyway, I know these things because I had a Soundabout. It might be worth money as a collectible today, if it had not been stolen by a co-worker who I allowed to stay in my house while I was on vacation. Oh well. Probably would have lost it some other way.

If the haters hate this strip so much, then WHY are they still here?

I call your attention to the last two panels. In the penultimate panel, we see Ed actually cracking a smile, as for a moment he thinks the trainer actually sees his old-school music player as something cool and interesting. Then, as this is a Batiuk strip, she slaps him down with her “get a load of this!” Ha-ha, Ed’s old, and he listens to old music on an old cassette player! Can you believe it? Put this guy in a museum for everybody to laugh at!

Ed’s pained expression in the final panel is classic Batiuk. Kudos to Dan for selecting just the right faces from the Crankshaft Reusable Art Portfolio!

who’s the guest star in the hat today?

Yep. A short, to the point, and (for most of the strips intended audience) relatable gag. What the comic used to be before the self indulgent author shoehorned in all the unlikable characters from his canceled strip.

You know, if he just said ‘mix tape from the radio’ he would sound just as archaic! For that matter, she’d be just as amazed by a portable CD player!

He’s at a gym. Does he really need a guide to get him started on a treadmill?

Like Bob Seger song, Todays music ain’t got the same soul, give me that old time rock n roll!

I just returned from visiting my son that I gave my parents 1949 Philco console radio too. It still works and he has some 78s to play on it. The radio brought many memories listing to music and the lone ranger and other serial shows. Oh yes, Jack Benny had a show that he did for the radio audience before he said he was going to do his tv show.

I’m staring at today’s Sunday comic and not seeing a Funky Winkerbean character of any kind. No Mason Jarre. No Cindy Summers-Jarre, No Batton Thomas. No Mopey Pete Roberts-Reynolds. No Darin Fairgood. No Dead Skunkhead John. No Funky or Holly Winkerbean.

Best of all, no Harry Dinkle.

(contented sigh)

Baby Blues one time, Zoe looking at dad old LP’s, Hammie says what these, Zoe replies this the way all their media used to be on. Hammie replies, wow, just think of the size of that IPOD!

Yep here’s your weekly appearance from the Star of this strip. Until next week Crankshaft.

You’d think the “old schoolers” are all gone by now. I go back to those days listening to it while doing my paper route.

Blatant product placement. Hope Sony sues Batty Whack for associating them with this comic.

While it’s nice to see Ed make an appearance in his own strip, I must note that the joke is pure Funky Winkerbean. Remember the seemingly endless arc about Funky at the gym, dropping the Last Discman On Earth (or something like that), and it’s reappearance in his unending AA monologue.

Those type of players are still around and the exercise person is a dummy!

The Walkman, and, cassettes may be out of date (I’m sur[rised the spotter didn’t ask what “78’s” are?) but it’s the same idea as playlists on your phone, or, evven less out of date tech, MP3 players.

why do people not realize scrambled eggs is just bad cake batter

It’s a LOAD alright..

Hey, kid; Benny Goodman, Glenn Miller, Louis Armstrong, Artie Shaw, etc. – all originally on 78s and all light-years better than the stuff you probably listen to. Maybe you should try it!

“My friend RALPH taped a BUNCH of his old 78’s for me.”

RALPH BUNCH or Ralph Bunche, an American diplomat who was the first Black person to win a Nobel Prize.

I’m sure Batiuk meant this as an obscure inside joke. /s

I saw on a news show where mixed tape cassettes are having a comeback.