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āIām a politician, which means Iām a cheat and a liar, and when Iām not kissing babies, Iām stealing their lollipops.ā ā The Hunt For Red October
A real politician ā¦ a person who shakes your hand and pockets your wallet before an election, then taxes you for the return of your empty wallet after.
The thing is, Grog ole boy, thatās their job. Without taxation you can kiss the military, medicaid, social security, ATDC, most roads and bridges, and quite a few jobs goodbye.
Huh. Theyāve pretty much got their hands out for your wallet ALL the time. . .the amount of money spent on campaigns could feed all the low-income folks in thiscountry. . . could pull schools out of deficit. . .could. . .
Almost everyone I have ever done business with has shaken my hand and then my wallet. That is kind of the characterization of an economy in a stable society.
Love it! Thanks for the laugh. And thanks, by the way, for making it a general laugh at all politicians without poking at any one of them. In an election year, we need all the clean (no mud slinging) laughs we can get.
Dusty9 9 months ago
Exactly correct.
angelolady Premium Member 9 months ago
Grog readingāof course. Heās not a barbarian, after all.
Mediatech 9 months ago
The only time you can be sure a politician is telling the truth, is when they are calling another politician a liar.
Scorpio Premium Member 9 months ago
Technically, the wallet is shaken before the election too.
Enter.Name.Here 9 months ago
āIām a politician, which means Iām a cheat and a liar, and when Iām not kissing babies, Iām stealing their lollipops.ā ā The Hunt For Red October
B UTTONS 9 months ago
A real politician ā¦ a person who shakes your hand and pockets your wallet before an election, then taxes you for the return of your empty wallet after.
littlejohn Premium Member 9 months ago
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians firstā¦
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they donāt, the country is safe.
littlejohn Premium Member 9 months ago
Youād think politicians have bigger issues to tackle than housework and cleanliness.
Yet they often call for sweeping reforms.
littlejohn Premium Member 9 months ago
So I just found out some politicians with bowel problems are unfairly helping other politicians with bowel problems rise to power.
I guess our government has a problem with crohnyism.
littlejohn Premium Member 9 months ago
Which symptom is shared by all the politicians worldwide?
Constipation. They are always full of sh*t.
littlejohn Premium Member 9 months ago
Did you hear about the politician who came home late at night after a hard day at work?
He was Satiredā
littlejohn Premium Member 9 months ago
I canāt believe I got arrested for impersonating a politicianā¦
I was just sitting around doing nothing.
littlejohn Premium Member 9 months ago
Politicians and diapers have one thing in commonā¦
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
littlejohn Premium Member 9 months ago
Every time I hear a politician speak, I have this overwhelming feeling that Iāve heard this bullsh*t before.
Psychologists call it DĆ©jĆ poo.
Ron Dunn Premium Member 9 months ago
The one that always gets me is the āI approve this messageā or you get those PAC groups who like to sling mud at their opponent or candidate.
Botulism Bob 9 months ago
Once you donate to a politician, your name stays on his email list forever, which is why I have yet to donate.
donlackie 9 months ago
A person who has no plans or ideas so instead of trying to convince you to vote FOR them, they try to scare you into vote AGAINST the other candidate
njchris 9 months ago
A person who shakes your hand with his left hand while emptying you pocket with his right hand
preacherman Premium Member 9 months ago
The thing is, Grog ole boy, thatās their job. Without taxation you can kiss the military, medicaid, social security, ATDC, most roads and bridges, and quite a few jobs goodbye.
dflak 9 months ago
This is not the season for it, but.
It was so cold in DC last week that several Congressmen were seen with their hands in their own pockets.
ChessPirate 9 months ago
And your confidence after thatā¦
Man of the Woods 9 months ago
Spot On !!!
SirThomas 9 months ago
Based on what Iām receiving in the mail, before the election one hand shakes and the other reaches around to the wallet.
Doug Taylor Premium Member 9 months ago
A politician is someone who knows all the words to āTaxmanā
GiantShetlandPony 9 months ago
Only for the workers. The rich pay in advance to ensure the workers pay more.
LONNYMARQUEZ 9 months ago
now it is before and after
Daltongang Premium Member 9 months ago
āPoliticians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.ā ā Mark Twain
ladykat Premium Member 9 months ago
Good definition.
1953Baby 9 months ago
Huh. Theyāve pretty much got their hands out for your wallet ALL the time. . .the amount of money spent on campaigns could feed all the low-income folks in thiscountry. . . could pull schools out of deficit. . .could. . .
paulprobujr 9 months ago
When one shakes your hand, better count your fingers afterward.
jconnors3954 9 months ago
Truer words never spoken.
bilbrlsn 9 months ago
Almost everyone I have ever done business with has shaken my hand and then my wallet. That is kind of the characterization of an economy in a stable society.
grange Premium Member 9 months ago
Election n. A process by which the people choose who shall pick their pockets for a set term.
stamps 9 months ago
NO, no, heās got it backwards. First they pick your wallet, then they shake your hand.
waes-hael 9 months ago
Whiner: The person who doesnāt participate in local politics, then wonders why theyāre constantly disappointed.
Seriously, enough with the hyperbole about politicians: WE elect āem. If you voted without knowing the politician, thatās on you.
zeexenon 9 months ago
Just dust and overdue notes will fall out of mine.
Silence Dogood Premium Member 9 months ago
Har de harā¦bashing politiciansā¦har de harā¦
mindjob 9 months ago
After they take your money, they raise your taxes
EXCALABUR 9 months ago
They even want your money before as a campaign contribution
nyg16 9 months ago
Orangie the clown shakes your wallet before, during and after
Strawberry King 9 months ago
As usual, theyāre right on the money.
bwswolf 9 months ago
Now-a-Days they shake your hand as they pick half of your wallet now and then the other half after the election ā¦. ;)
David Huie Green LikeNobody'sEverSeen 9 months ago
Pay for all the things you wanted??
I thought someone else (anyone else) was supposed to pay for it.
thejanith Premium Member 9 months ago
Love it! Thanks for the laugh. And thanks, by the way, for making it a general laugh at all politicians without poking at any one of them. In an election year, we need all the clean (no mud slinging) laughs we can get.