Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 01, 2024

Judge not, lest others point out what a jerk you are.

This is as bad as the time when Pig bought a can of dolphin-free tuna and expected to find a free dolphin inside.

What’s that up in the road? A head?

I expect Lojban has a structure to make this sentence’s meaning perfectly clear.

Judgment is the most free commodity in the world today.

It should be “free judgement zone.” I’m blowing the grammar whistle on Stephan.

Look to yourself before you judge others, Rat!

Yeah, I know. I tried to pick myself up a bottle of Pepsi Free but the cashier insisted I pay.

It can be more precise. Rat has just made a decision to confuse pig.

Rat must work at Planet Fitness, the home of The Judgement Free Zone.

I was driving my dad through a traffic jam on the approach to a former toll bridge. He asked, “They call this a free way?” I answered, “Yes, because they don’t charge a toll any more.”

One thing that could be more precise (or perhaps, more consistent) is spelling. It doesn’t make sense that cough, though, and bough don’t rhyme, but though, no, and sew do.

I once heard that French was the preferred language for international contracts “because it is possible to specify exactly who does what to whom”. Not that it isn’t possible to write ambiguously (court cases over the meaning of the placement of a comma, anyone?), but that it is possible to write *un*ambiguously.

This is the slogan of the gym, Planet Fitness. I go to a Planet Fitness, and at least there are no Rats.

Eh no wonders why me is never going to understandeeng Engleeessh.

The other day someone was explaining to me what an outbuilding was, and how he had to go into the outbuilding to get things. “Into the outbuilding.” Well I’m sorry but that’s just wrong.

lame

Well then in that case, Rat, you’re a narcissistic, selfish, horrible and despicable rodent being and we’d all be better off without you.

Morning Step, you sent rat to trump University for a personality, didn’t you!

The language is not a problem. The issue is how the language is used.

I asked if it was gluten free and they said no, I had to pay for it

There may be no charge for his judgment …

… but many he judges pay a price (to how they feel about themselves)

It is until it aint.

Actually, it is more precise. If the sign meant that one won’t be judged in this area, then it would read “Judgment-Free Zone”.

That would take a lot of the fun out of it, Pig.

With indoor plumbing, you have an inside outhouse.

Saw that coming, eh?

A nickel? Such a specific price… LUCY!

A foreign gentleman visited the USA for a short time to see how Americans live. He said “They are weird, they barbecue and eat outside, but do their business inside” !

Before you judge a man, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way you’re a mile away, and you have his shoes.

Now I’m having second thoughts about those pesticide-free vegetables I buy

Brilliant

He’s right on this. Every time I see a sign saying the (mall, hospital, clinic, etc.) is a “Smoke Free Facility,” I think that could mean cigarettes, cigars, pipe tobacco, are being given away.

Adjective order is important, Rat. Judgement free isn’t the same as free judgement.

I hope rat realizes that it works both ways and judgement can be thrown back.

I agree with Pig about our language.

Pig and Pastis have a lot in common… :D

I think you’ve stumbled across one of the major problems with trying to express yourself using only the sounds your mouth makes or that can be expressed in 26 letters, Pig…

Either a nickle or free, you get for which you pay. (Oh, hail, all those English credits.)

It is kind of fun to go up to the information desk in a building that has a sign “smoke free environment”, and ask what brands they carry.

Pastis is a treasure.

Yes. The reason I prefer Latin.

I figured it would be, “No judgement, just a factual description.”

This is what I’ve been talking about for a while now. This is why we need hyphens “judgment free” and “judgment-free” do not mean the same thing! Use those hyphens, people! I don’t care if you’re using the on-screen keyboard on your phone. Punctuation exists for a reason.

Don’t even get me started on homographs; and no, that does not refer to homosexual graphic artists.

Aww, poor pig, he was so happy ♥♥

unfollowed. I tried but this guy is perpetually negative about everything.

This would make a series on Fox.

Rat + Lucy = Perfect Marriage or they would be successfully rich in their respective fields.