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Woke up this a.m. to find a bear, once again, has broken a solid steel support and taken down my birdfeeders. One is really banged up but I think itâs salveagable.
The young couple on their honeymoon were about to spend the week camping in Yellowstone, but first they had to listen to the rangerâs orientation speech. He was particularly emphatic about bears. âTheyâre a protected species, so weâve got lots of them, but theyâre still dangerous. Donât approach them under any circumstances. And donât try to outrun them; theyâre faster than you are. And climbing a tree wonât help, either; theyâre better at it than you.â
The nervous groom asked what they could do about it.
âWell, some people stop by the gift shop and pick up wristlets or anklets with little bells. Sometimes if they hear you coming, theyâll move off before you get there. You can also get cans of pepper spray in case you surprise one. Oh, and be on the lookout for fresh bear scat; thatâs a sign that theyâre around and you might want to leave.â
âWhatâs scat?â asked the bride.
âBear droppings. You can tell what kind of bear it is by what their poop looks like. The smaller ones, black bears, have scat thatâs kind of firm and roundish, like dark ping-pong balls. The really dangerous guys, the big grizzlies, have softer, flatter, lighter-colored droppings, kind of like cowpies, except they usually have little bells and smell like pepper.â
kendavis09 7 months ago
So thatâs why we have sink-holes.
WhatsTheJoke Premium Member 7 months ago
Hungry, hungry gopher.
constantine48 7 months ago
Smarter than the average bear!
ʲá 7 months ago
itâs Frank Gent!!
The Reader Premium Member 7 months ago
Bearly believable!
PraiseofFolly 7 months ago
He is âsmarter than the av-er-age gopher!â But look out for your pic-a-nic baskets!
Doug K 7 months ago
Should you feed this bear? ⌠Sure. Gopher it.
dbrucepm 7 months ago
I donât want his gopher holes in my yard
mourdac Premium Member 7 months ago
Woke up this a.m. to find a bear, once again, has broken a solid steel support and taken down my birdfeeders. One is really banged up but I think itâs salveagable.
uncle snipe 7 months ago
GENT? IS THAT YOU? LOL
InTraining Premium Member 7 months ago
Hum⌠that guy would make a great Gopher RugâŚ!
Chris 7 months ago
smart work there gopher. :}
royq27 7 months ago
Go for broke!
sandpiper 7 months ago
Crafty devil.
GojusJoe 7 months ago
Sorry, but I donât feed gophers either.
Frank Burns Eats Worms 7 months ago
Say, wanna gopher a ride?
walstib Premium Member 7 months ago
He could put on a U of MN jersey and pass for the U mascot Goldy Gopher.
AtariDragon 7 months ago
One of the Varmint Kong.
elgrecousa Premium Member 7 months ago
And if you believe that, I got that proverbial bridge Iâd like to sell you at a bargain price.
Saurischia 7 months ago
Does anyone intentionally feed gophers?
oakie817 7 months ago
most excellent
Richard S Russell Premium Member 7 months ago
The young couple on their honeymoon were about to spend the week camping in Yellowstone, but first they had to listen to the rangerâs orientation speech. He was particularly emphatic about bears. âTheyâre a protected species, so weâve got lots of them, but theyâre still dangerous. Donât approach them under any circumstances. And donât try to outrun them; theyâre faster than you are. And climbing a tree wonât help, either; theyâre better at it than you.â
The nervous groom asked what they could do about it.
âWell, some people stop by the gift shop and pick up wristlets or anklets with little bells. Sometimes if they hear you coming, theyâll move off before you get there. You can also get cans of pepper spray in case you surprise one. Oh, and be on the lookout for fresh bear scat; thatâs a sign that theyâre around and you might want to leave.â
âWhatâs scat?â asked the bride.
âBear droppings. You can tell what kind of bear it is by what their poop looks like. The smaller ones, black bears, have scat thatâs kind of firm and roundish, like dark ping-pong balls. The really dangerous guys, the big grizzlies, have softer, flatter, lighter-colored droppings, kind of like cowpies, except they usually have little bells and smell like pepper.â
lawguy05 7 months ago
Made me laugh :-)
thejanith Premium Member 7 months ago
Love it! That was truly laugh-out-loud funny. Thanks for a good laugh.
Forrest the dude Premium Member 7 months ago
Nice try!
dogday Premium Member 7 months ago
âI am a very large gopher. Please ignore the large teeth and ginormous claws!â