Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for September 20, 2024

Au contraire, Lizard Lil, you are clearly stir-crazy.

I always order my martinis stirred, not shaken.

With Cranky in the neighborhood, Lillian was prepared to repel any incendiary assault.

Crankshaft can guard her. Zzzzzzz….

Why, yes, Lillian. Now that you mention it, your face does resemble something one would find preserved in alcohol.

I really do enjoy Cranky and am disappointed that he will so rarely appear. Since I didn’t read this years ago, I don’t know the backstory that everyone else shares about Lillian, but I sure hope all the haters here find out how much fun it is to be old and hated someday. I’m sure you all think you’re the greatest things on this earth. Just like that orange man who wants to be king…

“How long do you think you’ll be closed”? For a couple of slightly torched staircase steps and a singed garage door? Why, Alf and Ralph Monroe would have that place ready to shill “band books” in a day or two, tops.

Yeah but a rational person would take a day or two or maybe even a week before opening up again. Something like that can leave you pretty shaken, even if it only gets a few steps and a garage door.

There isn’t even any real damage besides a little bit of singeing. This is so stupid.

“I’m shaken but not stirred.”

But is she Bonded?

Close? Just because someone is trying to gets rid of a couple of stairs? It’s called closing?

Shaken but not staired eh.

There isn’t even any damage. Look for an arsonist who doesn’t ’know the first thing about burning down buildings.

So who is the arsonist? Is it dead Lucy? Or dead Saint Lisa? Or Eugene, who by now is at least 110 years old?

It’d be nice, but not likely, but perhaps an exterior elevator to the landing. Make the shop handicapped accessible as well.

Pam is SO STONED

Good for you, Lillian!

It’s Lillian McKenzie, Agent 000—License to ̶K̶i̶l̶l̶ Bore.

She will probably spend the next two or three weeks jabbering about how book banning/burning is bad, won’t she? She might even hijack a session of Congress in Washington D.C. Here we go.

Lillian: (at microphone) “Don’t ban books. It’s bad. Don’t burn books. It’s bad.”

Person in the Crowd: “Oh, she’s so brave! They burned the steps near her garage, you know!”

she’s not getting stirred up by that mess. :D

I beg to differ with panel #2. Lillian was shaken by the fire and stirred into waking up. The word undeterred would be a better fit for her attitude.

Batyuk just had to pound that square phrase into a round hole. Regardless if it made any sense. He’s a “storyteller,” as I’m sure he’d be glad to tell you.

Good attitude and Crank is in “deeep thought”!!!!!

Hoohoohooooooo……smirk!

For those keeping score… two weeks (at least) of talking about what happened off camera and what might happen, two days of something happening, three days (so far) of talking about what happened. Prime Batty…

Ed makes an appearance three days in a row. We haven’t seen this much of him in months. Of course he’s not allowed to talk, it might just be a wax figure they’re lugging around with them.

Hardly a singe. Close? Who would notice?

Shaken and not deterred!

“I’m down but not out.”“I’m bent but not broken.”“I’m lost but not forgotten.”“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.”

T and D are putting Cranky’s figure in the ‘toon to keep readers from writing where is Crankshaft. BUT we are not stupid, guys!!

“Of course I’m not going to close! This is the opportunity for me to have a fire sale!”

(I’m surprised no one else thought of that before now!)

What is ridiculous is the fact that if you were to shoot the arsonist in the act of setting fire, you would be up on charges.

Actually, shouldn’t she be shaken BUT stirred to action? Not stirred would seem to imply she’s not going to continue.

THANOS, the Infinity Glove finally complete: “NOW I can make the Universe—BALANCED!” Raises Glove, and with a mighty Smirk, changes the channel. “Oh, ESPN, cool. Canadian football!” He proceeds to eat Cheetos with his Glove, because now he won’t get orange dust on his fingers. (NEXT DAY) Captain America: “Well, that fight to save the Universe was cool! Too bad we didn’t show it!” (eats Cheetos; smirks) The MCU, as written by Tom.

99% percent of the comments here are useless. Ignore them, they add nothing of value to the world.

Bond, Lillian Bond.

Lil, you maybe determined not to give in even slightly to the book haters, but what will the building inspector say? Are those steps in good enough shape to allow you to open? And, them there’s the matter of being ADA complient. Even when they are in perfect shape, no way do they make your store wheelchair accessible.

You go girl …..

See today’s Marvin.

Nothing on earth is more important in the Batiukverse than those kids getting their hands on that book. Lillian is willing to risk her store and her life to make sure they receive it.

Why? What’s her motivation? Reading is fun? She’s a big fan of Fahrenheit 451 or Ray Bradbury? Batty is desperate to make gullible readers like her?

Real life solution: Assign a book that’s on the approved list. Problem solved. Nobody’s store or life is in danger.

Scenes we’d like to see (but never will): The serial arsonist sets Best Actress Award Winner Les Moore’s car on fire.

As usual, Best Actress Award Winners Les Moore stirs up trouble. Blithely avoids any consequences. Returns later to brag and smirk. Oh, how I hate him.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I think it’s a major fire code violation for Lillith to be operating a second floor business with only one exit. If there’s a fire and the staircase is blocked, how can customers safely get out?

I love Lillian! No one appreciates elders anymore.

If she had a martini in her hand, her line would make more sense.

She’s not James Bond…and certainly nobody James Bond would kiss.

She’s Miss haven’t—Got—A—Penny