Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for January 03, 2025

No, in this strip it’s all about the gumby-dumby.

“…And why is the mattress suddenly cool and damp?”

Seriously? Now we’re stealing punchlines from Joey Adams toastmaster joke books? 2025 is having some trouble getting off the ground, folks.

I visit you nightly, but I’m not a dream. ~ I make you rest, but I’m not a stream. ~ You close your eyes to my silent scream.

What am I?

Charlie Brown did this better, but that goes without saying.

Huh? What? Whaaat?

SO! Who’s playing with Crank’s bedroom light switch?

Ed, the Hokey Pokey isn’t what it’s all about. Turning yourself around is what it’s all about.

Takes me back to my 5th birthday party. Followed by the Bunny Hop.

Sadly, the inventor of the Hokey-Pokey died last month. Getting him ready for the wake wasn’t easy. Said the undertaker, “I put the left foot in, he put the right foot out…”

Just wanted to get this joke out of the way before Batty uses it tomorrow.

Batty is ‘not pleased!’

He should be more worried about whatever condition caused his eyes to shrink.

In my head, I fashioned a parody song to this called “The Whole Thing Over”, which would have highlighted the many stages of life we cyclically live through and the underlying Sisyphean futility to it all.

“You get your schoolin’ in / you take your summers out / you get your homework and / you take the tests and pout. / You do the whole thing over / til’ you’re pushin’ seventeen / that’s what it’s all about”

“You get your CV in / you get your job and now / you put your forty in / and you get your wages out. / You do the whole thing over / when the layoffs come around / that’s what it’s all about”

And so on.

Old song. Old joke.

cranky cant sleep because hes worried about the 28 day chair workout challenge

What’s it all about? WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? I’LL tell you what it’s all about. It’s about………

You put your right foot in

You put your right foot out

You put your right foot in

And you shake it all about

You do the hokey pokey

And you turn yourself around

That’s what it’s all about

You put your left foot in

You put your left foot out

You put your left foot in

And you shake it all about

You do the hokey pokey

And you turn yourself around

That’s what it’s all about

You put your right arm in

You put your right arm out

You put your right arm in

And then you shake it all about

(You do the hokey pokey

And you turn yourself around

That’s what it’s all about)

You put your left arm in

You put your left arm out

You put your left arm in

And then you shake it all about

You do the hokey pokey

And you turn yourself around

That’s what it’s all about

You put your right elbow in

You put your right elbow out

You put your right elbow in

Then you shake it all about

You do the hokey pokey

And you turn yourself around

That’s what it’s all about

You put your left elbow in

You put your left elbow out

You put your left elbow in

And then you shake it all about

(You do the hokey pokey

And you turn yourself around

That’s what it’s all about)

You put your head in

You put your head out

You put your head in

And you shake it all about

You do the hokey pokey

And you turn yourself around

That’s what it’s all about

Right hip

You put your Right hip in

You put your Right hip out

You put your Right hip in

And you shake it all about

You do the hokey pokey

And you turn yourself around

That’s what it’s all about

Left hip

You put your left hip in

You put your left hip out

You put your l

Don’t worry Ed. You’re not going to die soon! You’ve got at least ten years, languishing as a non-verbal invalid!

Actually,“The Curly Shuffle” is what life is all about

don’t put your foot in it

Try turning over and laying on the other side!!!!!

No. There are much bigger questions and reasons. You fought for them during WWII and I believe that you were also wounded during your efforts. Much bigger than the Hokey Pokey. However, that also has some merits…..

ed is crying why cant i have a sleep number bed

According to Londo Mollari… no, it isn’t.

at times like that my question is " should I get up and pee?"

Tomorrow, Ed will sleeplessly thrash about thinking “How come we park in a driveway, but we…” and then fall asleep, joining his readers in utter boredom.

Or mayhap, scream in the night. Pam rushes in yelling “WHAT?!” And Ed incoherently yells “CHICKEN BUTT!” “Dad, dad—Why?!” “CHICKEN THIGH!”

Yes.Next question.