And let’s get busy on v2.0 that adds a dope slap for every “you know” or “like” when used for anything but to indicate similarity with, or a strong attraction to, something.
I had a coworker who would intend to say, “Let’s put that into a repository” (meaning, “let’s set that aside”). Unfortunately, what he would actually say was, “Let’s put that into a suppository.”
And the absolute worst: Resources when you mean people . Resources are things you exploit and use up (think fossil fuels). Then again, maybe this is something like a permanent Freudian slip.
Still, words like the above have a certain social utility. Those who use them identify themselves as unthinkers as soon as they open their mouths. As obvious, if slightly less painful as having “DOOFUS” tattooed on their foreheads.
Anyone remember the time when Human Resources departments used to simply be called Personnel? Shortly before I retired the outfit I worked for changed the name of the Maintenance department to Facilities Operations and the Graphics department to Visual Communications. Cute but stupid!
We can; "collaboratively transform client-focused strategic theme areas’, or “completely myocardinate pandemic ROI”, or “rapidiously matrix seamless technology” or “assertively whiteboard scalable e-tailers”! Try it yourself, it’s fun and endlessly entertaining!http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html
Synergy is a great word that’s easily adaptable to the business world… it’s just horribly misused. Paradigm Shift? that’s the move from paper timesheets to electronic time tracking or from desktops to cloud computing on a small scale (or punch cards to keyboard on a larger scale). It’s poorly abused by marketing people.
Dear Rat: Great app! You should add: 1) “issue” when “problem” is meant; e.g., the transmission in my car has an issue shifting into reverse. “Issue” is a psychobabble word; 2) “let’s unpack that” when “explain” is meant; 3) “problematic” when “troublesome” or “difficult” work better, are clearer, and not so cute; 4) “concerning” misused as an adjective when "worrisome"is meant; e.g., the lack of potable water in Puerto Rico is very concerning. There’s plenty more of these to flush down the toilet!
You have no idea how accurate and wonderful this strip is today! I spent 20 years in the hallowed halls of IBM Headquarters. The newly minted MBAs fell over themselves trying to use the latest buzzwords. “Circle back” and “Tee it up” were among the most common. I love today’s strip.
I work at an institution of higher learning and the administration has its own language here. What once could be said in three words, now takes about twenty-five. Drives me crazy!!
Coffee Cup Guy is one of the bloated Useless Class, predominately Administrators of all kinds, whose gleaning from the human race would be beneficial to all others….
We were developing software for a client and had a question, so somebody needed to call the client. One developer said she would be “happy to facilitate that conversation”.
willispate almost 7 years ago
oh man, if only that was real.
Adiraiju almost 7 years ago
Can we add the term “hella” to that app? It’d be hella useful.
Sherlock Watson almost 7 years ago
I’d prefer an app that did that to people who keep misusing words, like the TV news people who have no idea what “literally” means.
Bilan almost 7 years ago
That’s inconceivable!
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member almost 7 years ago
Bless you, Rat.
Lambert_van_O almost 7 years ago
Can the premium version also swallow PHB’s and otherwise incompetent people? Pleeeez? The world would be so much nicer, and quieter
chris_weaver almost 7 years ago
That’s what you get when you work smarter, not harder!
Anters55 almost 7 years ago
Once had a meeting with a software vendor and for the whole hour the guy used nothing but buzzwords. There would’ve been a thousand holes that day.
SusanSunshine Premium Member almost 7 years ago
Do you think we can include advertising in “business jargon”?
Cos PLEASE, I need it to swallow ad copywriters who call everything “on trend” or especially “squad goals.”
c.davies almost 7 years ago
I would buy this app in a heartbeat.
FassEddie almost 7 years ago
How about “go ahead and…” everybody is saying that now. Except me. I hate that phrase.
Acworthless almost 7 years ago
Does it come in both Android and iOS versions? If so, I want it and will pay handsomely for it!
Acworthless almost 7 years ago
And let’s get busy on v2.0 that adds a dope slap for every “you know” or “like” when used for anything but to indicate similarity with, or a strong attraction to, something.
ekw555 almost 7 years ago
how did the app know not to swallow rat when he said “we’ll circle back to that”, “game changer” and “empower” ?
OHGAWWWD!
masingermo almost 7 years ago
I had a coworker who would intend to say, “Let’s put that into a repository” (meaning, “let’s set that aside”). Unfortunately, what he would actually say was, “Let’s put that into a suppository.”
Darsan54 Premium Member almost 7 years ago
I WANT ONE !!! TAKE MY MONEY !!!
aerotica69 almost 7 years ago
Please add “pain point” and “team building” to that app.
JB10000Lakes almost 7 years ago
“bandwidth”
jeffiekins almost 7 years ago
Let’s put a pin in it . Deliverables .
And the absolute worst: Resources when you mean people . Resources are things you exploit and use up (think fossil fuels). Then again, maybe this is something like a permanent Freudian slip.
wagnertinatlanta almost 7 years ago
Still, words like the above have a certain social utility. Those who use them identify themselves as unthinkers as soon as they open their mouths. As obvious, if slightly less painful as having “DOOFUS” tattooed on their foreheads.
Masterskrain almost 7 years ago
Wouldn’t it be easier (and a LOT more satisfying) to just turn Guard Duck loose on them with his RPG launcher??
mail2jbl almost 7 years ago
Dilbert could use an app like this for his Pointy-Haired Boss.
rickseg almost 7 years ago
Anyone remember the time when Human Resources departments used to simply be called Personnel? Shortly before I retired the outfit I worked for changed the name of the Maintenance department to Facilities Operations and the Graphics department to Visual Communications. Cute but stupid!
JudyAz almost 7 years ago
what really gets me are “reach out” and “touch base”
Jeff0811 almost 7 years ago
Let’s table that for now, put a pin in it and revisit the matter in our next meeting.
Masterskrain almost 7 years ago
We can; "collaboratively transform client-focused strategic theme areas’, or “completely myocardinate pandemic ROI”, or “rapidiously matrix seamless technology” or “assertively whiteboard scalable e-tailers”! Try it yourself, it’s fun and endlessly entertaining!http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html
corzak almost 7 years ago
At the end of the day, we should stop relying on cliches like “the end of the day”.
John Leonard Premium Member almost 7 years ago
One question – when’s it hitting the App Store and Google Play?
rabizar almost 7 years ago
An A-hole down the rat-hole!
rshive almost 7 years ago
Very useful app. Makes the world better.
stick&rudder almost 7 years ago
Or when the temp at Starbucks says“sorry about that” after a mistake.
ZenCatMuses almost 7 years ago
‘Paradigm shift’ and ‘juxtapose’.
Thehag almost 7 years ago
Ha ha this app is ‘trending up’!
Number Three almost 7 years ago
I’ve never heard of “We’ll circle back to that”
Never ever.
xxx
Timothy Madigan Premium Member almost 7 years ago
Synergy is a great word that’s easily adaptable to the business world… it’s just horribly misused. Paradigm Shift? that’s the move from paper timesheets to electronic time tracking or from desktops to cloud computing on a small scale (or punch cards to keyboard on a larger scale). It’s poorly abused by marketing people.
stephen.mccue almost 7 years ago
Dear Rat: Great app! You should add: 1) “issue” when “problem” is meant; e.g., the transmission in my car has an issue shifting into reverse. “Issue” is a psychobabble word; 2) “let’s unpack that” when “explain” is meant; 3) “problematic” when “troublesome” or “difficult” work better, are clearer, and not so cute; 4) “concerning” misused as an adjective when "worrisome"is meant; e.g., the lack of potable water in Puerto Rico is very concerning. There’s plenty more of these to flush down the toilet!
JamesJDavies almost 7 years ago
You have no idea how accurate and wonderful this strip is today! I spent 20 years in the hallowed halls of IBM Headquarters. The newly minted MBAs fell over themselves trying to use the latest buzzwords. “Circle back” and “Tee it up” were among the most common. I love today’s strip.
jbruins84341 almost 7 years ago
Ooh, ooh, I want one! Where do I pay?
Gent almost 7 years ago
I want that app..!!
Masterskrain almost 7 years ago
Most people try to accomplish a Paradigm Shift WITHOUT using the clutch…
ADNERB Premium Member almost 7 years ago
I work at an institution of higher learning and the administration has its own language here. What once could be said in three words, now takes about twenty-five. Drives me crazy!!
del_grande Premium Member almost 7 years ago
Don’t forget “solutions”
Sisyphos almost 7 years ago
Coffee Cup Guy is one of the bloated Useless Class, predominately Administrators of all kinds, whose gleaning from the human race would be beneficial to all others….
codedaddy almost 7 years ago
Got a lot on my plate, but I got your back 24/7. It’s a game changer, and a wake up call – just sayin’. Touch base ASAP. Have a good one.
neatslob Premium Member almost 7 years ago
We were developing software for a client and had a question, so somebody needed to call the client. One developer said she would be “happy to facilitate that conversation”.
clayface9 Premium Member almost 7 years ago
Run it up the flag pole and see if anyone salutes.
Swirls Before Pine almost 7 years ago
Shovel ready
ND Cool Z almost 6 years ago
The Earth’s thinking, “Mmmmm, human..”
wordsmeet over 3 years ago
Genius! Hilarious, too.