Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 06, 2022

well that’s 1 way to get rid of those bozos.

True story: A few days ago, I was shopping for groceries, and an employee came up to me and asked if anyone had talked to me about my “solar benefits,” which meant that she wanted to “preach” to me about getting solar panels. I answered, “No, and I’m very thankful for it.” She got the message and moved on.

Stephan took a shot and he got lucky. The Steelers won by three.

I wish I’d thought of this line years ago, when some Mormons lived in my building.

well, there are all levels of good news…

Yeah, barely

OK, the Steelers beat the spread. But did BYU?

I have to say, during the worst of the pandemic, I got a voice mail from some of those folks. It was so nice (and short), not preaching, just saying times are tough and we all need to take care of ourselves and others and have faith that things will get better. I thought it was very well done and heartwarming. They did give a phone number at the end, saying if I needed help or just to talk to someone, call them, which I didn’t, but I could see how someone alone and needing that connection could really be helped.

Rat, spilling your beer on them may have been a contributing factor.

Have you heard the news? There’s good rockin’ tonight!

Did you see what Brady did tonight? Unbelievable!

Color on backorder again!

I invited a charming couple, Jehovah Witnesses, in for a chat…

During that half hour, I had all but destroyed their faith, unintentionally…

The following week, they returned with their Elder. My winning an argument was not more important than their faith. I backed off and the Elder realised what I’d done. We became very good friends after that, but never again discussed their religion…

A cure for cancer? Life on other planets?

Is this the week for black and white Pearls? Or was the strip not in color in 2016?

It was coloured when I saw it earlier today. What happened?

Go Steelers!

I heard the good news, Buckeyes are in the playoffs. Hopefully they show up and don’t get stomped by Georgia.

I don’t know enough about sports to understand that, but it still seems like an excellent response to thoze arrogant people.

I’m assuming they’re for the other team?

Ah yeah, people knocking on your door because they want to shove their superstitions down your throat.

Sure, I’ll listen to you tell me why your religion is the way, if you’ll return the favor and listen to me explain why it’s all bullstuff.

My wife was recuperating from cancer surgery. This JW woman kept coming to the door saying my wife wanted to see her. After about five consecutive days she only stopped when I threatened calling the police. My wife had never met this lady

And the Saints continue to disappoint me. The NFL team, not the real-life saints.

Didn’t this run a few years ago? Is this a three-peat?

Why don’t you all just them you’re not interested. That’s what I do. No problems.

I like the way you know they’re Mormons specifically, without the strip actually saying they’re Mormons.

If we see them coming, I let one of my horses loose. He stays on my road and is an overly friendly sort but has a quite intimidating “Hi, How are ya!” approach that would scare GOD on a good day if you don’t know him (doesn’t hurt that he is a larger draft). Works for us : )

Wrong news, Rat.

I send them packing…when you have to solicit …UGH!

Are the colorists on strike?

They came to my door while we were having a large addition built on our house. I was outside dressed like one of the workers and just said “They’re not home.” Never saw them again.

Where’s the color?

What’s with the black and white and reruns in the comics of late? Gocomics is back up and a lot of comics seem to be having problems.

I usually say “Yes! we have science now and don’t need mythology any longer.”

i wonder why the comics are black and white all of a sudden

and is why I have a private property sign up. to discourage these clowns and of anyone from the GOP or trump supporters (of whom I have to fight the urge to break out my shotgun. not loaded of course. the last thing I want to do is make martyrs of theses idiots)

Go Rat Go! great response !! And it got rid of them.

My father was stationed in Korea during the war. Once when he was on leave in Japan, he was on a train when a young American girl sat next to him. Just when he was thinking that he would have someone to talk with, she smiled at him and asked, “Are you saved?”

They must be Cowboys fans.

I am slightly amazed how sports betting has become so very big so quickly

Bums left him hanging?!? I know TWO folks who aren’t going to heaven . . .

Seen on a bumper sticker recently: “Jesus Saves! But Moses Invests!” It made me smile the whole day.

I’m going to have to read the Book of Mormon. I don’t remember high fives not being allowed but I could be mistaken.

The deepest, hottest crevices of hell are reserved for proselytizers.

Years ago, when I was an aspiring Boudoir photographer, a beautiful young lady with flowing long hair came to the door, with her little boy, selling her fairy tales. I invited her in and listened to her speil and then told her I thought she was beautiful and that I wanted to photograph her with her hair covering her breasts….her bare breasts. She seemed shocked that someone was that interested in her but my wife gave her a hand, watched the kid and the results were really nice. She was actually touched and I wonder if she ever went back to her church and showed them the results. Or even to her husband.

Thanks for the laugh! Best one today!

over or under though?

“Infamy! Infamy! They all have it infamy!”

Kenneth Williams—-CARRY ON CLEO—1964

Rat hasn’t tried Carlin’s way yet.

Wait this update might be really good. Multiple comics on one page would be so nice. The others are pretty minor, but read strips might be nice.

https://assets.amuniversal.com/565be96051cf013bd247005056a9545d

https://assets.amuniversal.com/eb64c3e04de0013bd1a8005056a9545d

I’ve ran into the same elders twice (They look like they can barely shave. I haven’t the foggiest why they are called elders). First time I got a pamphlet and a Book of Mormon, second time they wanted to come in and talk with me and my family. I had to politely tell them no.

Is there a reason we’re getting a rerun from 2016?

I’ve been there. Some people are going to be harder to get through than others.

…and the LDS were a stiff necked people…

…they believed in starch almost as much as Mr. Smith…

Rat’s response is rather cheery, under the circumstances. Preaching teams can use the laugh….

Obviously, you all have your religion and I have the truth (says everyone).

As a former LDS missionary I can assure you I would have given a High-Five