Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 26, 2023

Rat is every person over 50 who’s discovered WebMD.

I feel slightly hungry. Will I make it ’til morning?

pounding the internet again…not without merit but still…

My friend almost broke my thumb today looked up what happend fatal

A pig with a toe does sound wrong.

I have this pain in my rear, but it’s only an in-law so I doubt it’s fatal.

Call a toe truck.

Look up Bistro math Pig, then apply it to your toe.

You wont have to bother with all that infinite Improbability Drive bs about toeing the line!

According to the internet you are suffering more than you were aware (before looking it up). It’s some sort of online-martyr-syndrome.

Look at that Rat saved Pig the time and effort.

ask your doctor how many patients have consulted “Dr Google” before their appointment. my nurse practitioner got a far away look, and said “all of them”.

Rat also saved Pig a recurring VISA bill for an ongoing monthly supply of whatever snake oil is being promoted at the end of that everlasting video you have to suffer through.

There is a chance you will survive if you don’t look it up.

It’s probably not lupus.

sponsored by big pharma to sell you more dope!!!!!!!

Don’t forget to tell your doctor what medicines they should be prescribing. That is unless you are allergic to them. How do you know if you’re allergic unless you take them?

Good ole Doc Google.

Or you could just go to the vet and find out.

Google is helpful… at times.

Dr. Google knows all, sees all, and will scare the heck out of you!

The internet has done much to eliminate the asymmetry of information between doctor and patient, but that can also be a disadvantage since the lay person doesn’t have medical training and can miss important things that a health care provider wouldn’t.

Of course the internet is also a big platform for those spreading anti-vaxx nonsense, among other things. (listen y’all, Jenny McCarthy doesn’t know what the bleep she’s talking about!)

As soon as I read “unexplained weight loss” as a symptom, I can swipe on.

Is Pig’s real name Mr. Gullible?

Rat. Stop.

Not unique to the internet, of course. Mark Twain supposedly said “beware or reading health books. You could die of a misprint.”

Instead of those “prove you are not a robot” tests, there should be a “prove you are not a hypochondriac” test.

RAT= Doom and Gloom

PIG is so gullible….

We are born to die.

Nobody gets out of here alive. Enjoy things while you can.

And Pig’s feet aren’t exactly kosher.

Of course. I’m an alarmist: headache → brain tumor. stomach ache → ulcer. backache → kidney disease.

If you look at the fine print, the same can be said for the medications available as a cure. They can almost always be fatal.

So, fatalism rules!!!

the same goes for the “cures” advertised on TV

Could just be hali-toe-sis. On the other hand, maybe it’s toe-maine poisoning.

My wife successfully diagnosed her parathyroid problem on line. Our dentist has a coffee mug on display at the front desk that says something like, “Your web browser is not the equivalent of my dental degree.”

The internet is a lot better than drug ads on TV.

That law existed before folks could look things up on the net. At least for some folks it did. Had a couple family members who just had to hear about something and they were that way whether or not a doctor diagnossed them.

Rat’s right, you know. That online “doctor” is a real killer!

’ . . . is always and without a doubt fatal.’ Perhaps, for the stupid. I save myself from a lot of doctor’s office visits with proper research. Ultimately, you need to stick to trusted sources.

In that case, WebMD is a mass murderer.

I just coughed. Oh no, I’m gonna die!