Pickles by Brian Crane for October 17, 2024

Buy an inflatable Frankenstein and stuff it full of Zucchinis.

I’ll take three. I like zucchini if it’s made right but it doesn’t keep very well.

Uh, Donate them to the food bank?

Make a batch of Zucchini relish in jars… It’s the greatest thing on a good hot dog !

and for next year, just plant one.

The food banks don’t want them either. Burn ’em!

I once put mine out on the mail box with a sign that said “free” along with 6 egg plants….nobody took them. I ended up making pickles and relish. Then everyone got a jar for Christmas. Problem solved!

Give them to the soup kitchen Zukini soup for everyone

Give them back to Crankshaft.

If only they froze well. I can make zucchini bread and I like to just fry it up in butter. It’s good in soups too. But I wouldn’t need so many. If they froze well I’d take a bunch more of them.

Wanna get rid of zucchinis? Try this.

During the garbage worker’s strike in New York City – when streets were crowded – nearly unwalkable – with filled-to-bursting plastic garbage bags – Look, NYC apartments are tiny – you gotta get the garbage out) – one couple had an answer:

The wrapped their garbage in boxes with Christmas wrapping paper (it was December) and put them in their unlocked car – they were gone in the morning.

So I suggest you stuff the zucchinis in an Amazon box and leave it on your front porch . . .

No charge.

How about giving them to a food bank or a homeless shelter?!

It’s a dilemma!

The Veggie Boys have the right idea… all the vegetables that don’t make the cut are left right in the field and ploughed under to make the best nutrient base for the next crop. All the good vitamins and minerals that are good for you go into making even better crops for next year. No waste! Of course you would have to make sure you really got them incorporated into the soil or you would have a stinky recycle pile, (not to mention explosions when the heat built up too much’ as we learned in microbiology in college – you need to be turning it occasionally to keep it from building “hot spots”) Shout out to my Microbiology prof at uni who had us making beer to show how microbes work! We also made home made pickles (delicious) and learned how to identify mushrooms. (Although I’ve never been sure enough of the differences to actually hunt and eat my own!)

If you need to get rid of zucchinis, try giving them away as Halloween treats. Do that two or three years in a row, and trick-or-treaters will never bother you again.

I’ve never understood why people who grow zucchini and eggplants and other such vegetables plant so much to start with. They know they’ll have more than they and everyone they know can use, yet the next year they overplant again.

If it was in the area I live in, just toss them on people’s lawns. The landscapers with leaf blowers will just blow them into the street, while the passing traffic runs over them and they turn to mulch.

Take them to a food pantry.

You can take them to a wildlife rescue and preservation compound. It’s quite likely that some of the animals there would love your excess vegetables

why plant them to begin with? plant stuff people WANT to eat. Tomatoes, potatoes, lettuce,carrots…

Leave the zucchini’s out on the front lawn. Since there’s so much thievery going on, maybe someone will steal them. That’s “maybe” because when you want things to be taken, they’re usually not.

When my kids were small we came out to our car after church and our car was filled with zucchini! The kids new I’d made a pact with God, if You supply it, we’ll eat it! I borrowed my sister’s “101 ways to fix zucchini” cookbook. Their favorite was still zucchini cake or bread. Wish I’d had my zucchini boats recipes then! It’s a huge hit.

I think remembering them going around and leaving zucchini on neighbors doorsteps last year!

Why raise things that will eventually be a burden to you….This thought would solve over population….Spaying should be mandatory after the first born and maybe even before the first. There should be a test, you fail then your sterilized. I say spay and neuter will be the future..especially if All Mexicans will be allowed in by 2028.. Think about it.

If no one wants them .. why grow them?

Nobody in this long discussion about zucchini mentioned that in the Pickles’ neighborhood people apparently leave their cars unlocked outside of zucchini season. What a strange habit!

For God’s sake…….. GROW SOMETHING ELSE

Sell them!

there is no need for world hunger when 10, maybe 12, acres of zucchini could feed the planet!

Where’s mine?

Dear humanity, (1) Leave the produce that you’re not going to use in the garden (the critters will love it), (2) leave the leaves on the ground, (3) let the stupid lawn die and allow the natural vegetation to flourish. – Mother Nature.

I believe there should be a law that prohibits growing more than one zucchini plant by any individual or family!

We can’t grow zuchinni down here but my wife has a great recipe for a casserole that involves cheese and sausage and we actually buy them at the grocery store.

Pick them when they’re small & tender. Don’t let them grow into clubs.

Freak them out … put them in their gardens.

They look an awful like “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” pods. Maybe people think their replacements will hatch out of them

put them in paper bags⠄⠄⠄

set them on neighbors’ porch⠄⠄⠄

light them on fire⠄⠄⠄

ring the bell and run

Don’t plant so much.

Didn’t we just have “Sneak Zucchini on Your Neighbor’s Porch Day”?

They don’t lock them at other times? Different sort of town, I guess…

Donate them to the food bank.

Put up a sign saying

With any luck, someone will steal the entire crop.

Avocados are my issue, there are many after Milton!

I think I first read this joke in Read Digest several decades ago.

Let them dry out then burn them in the fireplace.

save ‘em up an’ hand ’em out on halloween!

Hey!!! Anyone with too many zucchinis… my car doors will be left open!!

This is similar to the problem we have with apples. We give most of the to the local food share.