Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 23, 2018

  1. Img 0910
    BE THIS GUY  over 6 years ago

    Eavesdropping is very rude and offensive.

     •  Reply
  2. Figaro 1
    Wilde Bill  over 6 years ago

    I find the fact that you have no mouth offensive.

     •  Reply
  3. Godzilla  i of the storm by adiraiju d4r0ysf
    Adiraiju  over 6 years ago

    My favorite incident of that type was when I was telling some friends about the evil Navajo spirit named “He-who-kicks-people-off-cliffs”, or Tse’tahotsilta’li. Someone else overheard and gave me an earful, assuming I’d made the name up. I hadn’t…

     •  Reply
  4. Avatar
    alaskajohn1  over 6 years ago

    Shades of You Bet Your Life with Groucho Marx : Say the “Secret Word”.

     •  Reply
  5. Ataridragon
    AtariDragon  over 6 years ago

    If he’s related to Li’l Guard Duck, I’d advise against troubling him too much.

     •  Reply
  6. 20231014 093035
    ND Cool Z  over 6 years ago

    Is that Guard Duck? No it can’t be, because Guard Duck has never learned to fly.

     •  Reply
  7. W12
    chris_weaver  over 6 years ago

    “Don’t stand underneath when they fly by” – Tom Lehrer, in a different context.

     •  Reply
  8. Airhornmissc
    Liverlips McCracken Premium Member over 6 years ago

    Pig knows enough to turn around and check after the second “that’s offensive.” Then he’s thoughtful enough to warn the others before he hits the deck. You couldn’t ask for a better roomie.

     •  Reply
  9. Bluedog
    Bilan  over 6 years ago

    I’m still trying to figure out what’s offensive about the No One Cares Duck.

     •  Reply
  10. Out little avatar
    dadoctah  over 6 years ago

    You’re going to need a lot more than just one duck.

     •  Reply
  11. Blunebottle
    blunebottle  over 6 years ago

    Where can I buy me one of those?

     •  Reply
  12. Alexander the great
    Alexander the Good Enough  over 6 years ago

    Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: ONE!! And it’s NOT FUNNY!!!

     •  Reply
  13. Missing large
    derdave969  over 6 years ago

    Finally! We have a useful application for drones!

     •  Reply
  14. 3540301777 e380648263
    bbbmorrell  over 6 years ago

    I really want one of those.

     •  Reply
  15. 8863814b f9b6 46ec 9f21 294d3e529c09
    mattro65  over 6 years ago

    The duck would be more effective if it did give a poop-right on her head. Although I understand the sensitivities of some people and do avoid some inflammatory language I also recommend the “In one ear and out the other” philosophy.

     •  Reply
  16. Desron14
    Masterskrain  over 6 years ago

    Maura? She came back???

     •  Reply
  17. 5f3a242a feac 42cc b507 b6590d3039f7
    Plods with ...™  over 6 years ago

    Oh for cryin’….

    Where the heck is panel 4??

     •  Reply
  18. Successful runner
    skipper1992  over 6 years ago

    I’m an amputee and had a teacher in seventh grade who, on April Fools Day, was sanctimoniously offended on my behalf by comments about me wearing my leg backward. And then I came in wearing my leg backward, and he got even more sanctimoniously offended and told me to fix it. He actually called home to talk to my mother about it. My mother … once she was done laughing … told him to lighten up.

     •  Reply
  19. Lonely bike
    aimlesscruzr  over 6 years ago

    If I say something that offends you and not another, that proves that “offense” is subjective, and therefore a personal choice. Frankly, it’s not my business who is offended, and I have made the personal choice not to care. It’s not my responsibility to manage anyone’s emotions other than my own.

     •  Reply
  20. V2
    Willywise52 Premium Member over 6 years ago

    No one gives a duck.

     •  Reply
  21. It  s a gas station    by todd sullest
    Max Starman Jones  over 6 years ago

    This past week, an Astros commentator, during a game, talked about the slider. He had been a ball player himself, and talked about how horrible the slider had been to him. “If I could go back in history and change one think, I would skip right past slavery, and get rid of the slider.”

    He is an African-American, who has making a joke, that’s all, using a form of ironic hyperbole to explain his hatred for the slider. Did anyone take him seriously?

    The woman in the panel above. White liberals, most of whom, I am sure, have never watched or listened to a baseball game, picked up on this, and demanded an apology for this “horribly racist” comment.

    The announcer obliged. An African-American submitted to white people and apologized for a joke.

    Somewhere, Jackie Robinson is shaking his head and laughing.

     •  Reply
  22. It  s a gas station    by todd sullest
    Max Starman Jones  over 6 years ago

    Sorry for the spelling errors: * “thing,” not “think,” and *"was," not “has.”

     •  Reply
  23. Img 3651
    TurbosDad  over 6 years ago

    I have learned that we would care less what people think about us if we really knew how little they do…

     •  Reply
  24. Png image 10
    !!ǝlɐ⅁ Premium Member over 6 years ago

    Oh, the next fly-by should be primed with duxatives.

     •  Reply
  25. Felis silvestrissilvestris europeanwildcat
    BiathlonNut  over 6 years ago

    As I said before, when someone says to me that they are offended, I reply, “That’s your problem.”

    When I was working in IT at a certain university, a secretary needed to connect a peripheral to her computer but the interfaces did not match. I told her we needed a “gender changer” and went off to collect the part. After placing the package that was plainly labelled “Gender Changer” on her desk I found out that in the meantime she had lodged a complaint against me with the university authorities.

    Anybody or any group that does not have a sense of humour is dangerous.

     •  Reply
  26. Img 1610
    WCraft Premium Member over 6 years ago

    More sad than funny. Happens all to often today.

     •  Reply
  27. Gentbear3b1a
    Gent  over 6 years ago

    So, if I eat that duck, no one cares, right?

     •  Reply
  28. Gentbear3b1a
    Gent  over 6 years ago

    What we need is the Shut Up and Get Lost Duck.

     •  Reply
  29. Coexist
    Bookworm  over 6 years ago

    My favorite comeback is “I didn’t mean to offend you. That was just a bonus.” Said with sincerity and a broad smile, it totally confuses the offendee. I didn’t make it up. It was on a tee-shirt a good friend gave me.

     •  Reply
  30. Img 7270
    eladee AKA Wally  over 6 years ago

    We’re gonna need a LOT more ducks!!!!!!!!!

     •  Reply
  31. Deficon
    Coyoty Premium Member over 6 years ago

    The duck has a trigger trigger.

     •  Reply
  32. Missing large
    mantydad  over 6 years ago

    Finally a good use for the AFLAC duck!!

     •  Reply
  33. Img e0281
    joefearsnothing  over 6 years ago

    Being offended seems to be the thing today! I hope it’s just a fad!

     •  Reply
  34. Wizardicon
    John W. Vinson Premium Member over 6 years ago

    Somebody needs to come up with a cure for Offense Kleptomania.

     •  Reply
  35. Large 6288790a 2e6e 47be b852 18251c3975c7
    DarthRevan  over 6 years ago

    The “incoming” is guard duck with a rocket launcher, firing missioes labeled “Nobody cares”

     •  Reply
  36. Crazyforkedindianpalmsquirrel max 1mb
    B UTTONS  over 6 years ago

    Who cares? Enter “BBQ Becky” and her supercharged phone.

     •  Reply
  37. Tardissoundwave
    TimeLordSoundwave  over 6 years ago

    Coming up next, the “Mind Your Own Business” duck.

     •  Reply
  38. Missing large
    17bsch  over 6 years ago

    I miss Guard Duck!

     •  Reply
  39. B3b2b771 4dd5 4067 bfef 5ade241cb8c2
    cdward  over 6 years ago

    Dang Pastis. Why you so easily offended by people who are offended? I guess nobody cares.

     •  Reply
  40. Oofs
    SomeOtherGocomicsGuy  over 6 years ago

    16 years and he STILL cant draw- Rat

     •  Reply
  41. Missing large
    Zepp Jamieson  over 6 years ago

    “…and a large number of ducks were not given that day…”

     •  Reply
  42. 20141112 192913
    Aladar30 Premium Member over 6 years ago

    This is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

     •  Reply
  43. Thinker
    Sisyphos  over 6 years ago

    A whole flock of them! Please! More! We need those ducks so much!

     •  Reply
  44. Fdr avatar 6d9910b68a3c 128
    Teto85 Premium Member over 6 years ago

    You’re offended? I’m offended that you’re offended.

     •  Reply
  45. Missing large
    This Guy(Am I Right?)  over 6 years ago

    Anyone notice the Bob Dylan reference?

     •  Reply
  46. Logo
    TwilightFaze  over 6 years ago

    “You offended me.” My response: “Tell your therapist.”

     •  Reply
  47. Img 2007
    glowing-steak32  over 6 years ago

    Is Freddie Mercury involved?

     •  Reply
  48.  h366 w650 m6 otrue lfalse
    tad1  over 6 years ago

    I usually try to avoid offending people. If being considerate of other people’s ,feelings is wrong, I sure as heck don’t want to be right!

     •  Reply
  49. Missing large
    gammaguy  over 6 years ago

    I’m not offended. I’m on-ended.

     •  Reply
  50. Missing large
    Ragnar Premium Member over 6 years ago

    If someone were to post this comic on a wall at a college campus, there would no doubt be all sorts of demonstrations, sit-ins, and an investigation into who could disseminate such a terrible, insensitive comic strip. The college President would be asked (no, ordered) to resign, and there would be much caterwauling and calls for play-doh. It would be great.

     •  Reply
  51. 59d53ccd 05ff 4d19 b848 1c38bac956da
    SuperCharged5-  over 2 years ago

    don’t be offended by something that is not related to or directed at you

     •  Reply
  52. 1ccc4
    Squirrel Chaser  over 2 years ago

    https://www.gocomics.com/bloomcounty/1982/11/14

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Pearls Before Swine