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As I recall from the Biblical account, once Noah got the last animal on board and closed up the ark, that was it, so these guys on the island are out of luck.
Hereâs part of the lyrics to âOrigin of the Species,â a fine song by Chris Smither â âThen came the flood, Go figure⊠Just like New Orleans only bigger. No one who couldnât swim would make it through. The lucky ones were on a boat. Think âcircus,â And then make it float. I hope nobody pulls the plug on you! How they fed that crowd is a mystery, it ainât down in the history. But itâs a cinch they didnât live on cakes and jam. Lions donât eat cabbage and in spite of that old adage, I ainât never seen one lie down with a lambâ
An interesting historical question: did Noahâs three sons precede him off the ship, or did he come off first? Itâs the former, because the Bible says Noah came fourth.
In one part of Genesis it is stated that one animal of each gender boarded, but in another part of Genesis it states that twelve âcleanâ animals (kosher ones?) divided equally by gender and only one pair of âuncleanâ animals boarded. Which was it? Since the kosher animals tend to be very large, this would have huge implications for the feeding and cleanup crew.
Iâm not sure if a ride on the âmagical genocide and incestâ boat would have been worth it. After a month, think of the stench below deck. And after a year of the planetâs surface being submerged, with all fresh water contaminated with salt water and no edible plant life, those boat rations are now your only food sources.
Yes, I know itâs fiction. But biblical Fundamentalists claim otherwise, with the $110,000,000 âArk Encounterâ, AKA âArk Parkâ, claiming otherwise. They even claim that dinosaurs were transported on the ark, that it all happened ~4,300 years ago, and that the last of the dinosaurs died around the time of King Arthur.)
I canât remember for sure if it was on here (I think it was), but awhile back I posted a comment wondering if thereâd ever been a cartoon mashup between the desert isle gag and the Noahâs Ark gag. And, lo and behold, here one is!
If itâs packed to the gunnels with millions of tons of livestock, how does it ride so high in the water? Or is that what makes it a magical mystery ship? Or is this not Noahâs vessel, which was designed as a box, not a ship, according to the instructions in Genesis 6? Think Ark of the Covenant. An arkwright is a person who used to make chests or boxes. Curiouser and curiouser.
People who are opposed to abortion should spend some time contemplating how many unborn fetuses perished due to the omnicide perpetrated by Yahweh. (Of course, itâs all a myth; there never was any Great Flood. But the fact that TBs completely ignore their own hypocrisy in what they believe was ordained by God is nonetheless fair game for ridicule.)
Dtroutma almost 6 years ago
S â S, So Screwed.
danketaz Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Wicked.
Jesy Bertz Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Will the boat stop to pick them up? Noah way!
Enter.Name.Here almost 6 years ago
âGood new is, I see a boat.
Bad news is, I think the tideâs gonna riseâŠa LOT!â
kaffekup almost 6 years ago
âAhoy on the island! Have either of you ever committed a sin?â
sirbadger almost 6 years ago
Is it raining only on Noah and no place else? That would make it difficult to decide if it is better to stay on the island or board the ship.
santa72404 almost 6 years ago
Thereâs at least 2 bears on board that are hungry.
enigmamz almost 6 years ago
âSorry, we already have 2 males of your species on boardâ
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Noah was notorious for not picking up hitch hikers. You are soooo out of luck.
sandpiper almost 6 years ago
If Noah lets them on board, at least heâll have two more people that can change the newspapers in the stalls.
tripwire45 almost 6 years ago
As I recall from the Biblical account, once Noah got the last animal on board and closed up the ark, that was it, so these guys on the island are out of luck.
DanFlak almost 6 years ago
Sorry, weâre full. You canât get off here.
smgray almost 6 years ago
Attention animals! Last potty stop for the next 10,000 nautical miles.
Lyons Group, Inc. almost 6 years ago
Castaway #1: ââŠItâs full of animals and thereâs a heavy rainstorm along with it!â
Display almost 6 years ago
Hereâs part of the lyrics to âOrigin of the Species,â a fine song by Chris Smither â âThen came the flood, Go figure⊠Just like New Orleans only bigger. No one who couldnât swim would make it through. The lucky ones were on a boat. Think âcircus,â And then make it float. I hope nobody pulls the plug on you! How they fed that crowd is a mystery, it ainât down in the history. But itâs a cinch they didnât live on cakes and jam. Lions donât eat cabbage and in spite of that old adage, I ainât never seen one lie down with a lambâ
cabalonrye almost 6 years ago
The bad news is that you are standing on the top of mount Ararat and the ship needs room to ground herself. And the carnivores are hungry.
vics_machine Premium Member almost 6 years ago
A Scotsmanâs take on the Noah story, language perhaps NSFW. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxRpMP3NqUs
T Smith almost 6 years ago
⊠the bad news is, itâs fictional.
vics_machine Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Mrs Brownâs Irish version of Noahâs tale; language NSFW. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QarofaycN3c
ronaldhicks almost 6 years ago
And you know what theyâre going to have to work their fare doing . Someone has to clean up after all those animals.
eolan59 almost 6 years ago
Well, technically they are a âpairâ
eolan59 almost 6 years ago
What are the odds that the ark already picked up a pair of cartoon castaways?
MichaelHelwig almost 6 years ago
That ark is riding pretty high in the water.
Troy Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Thatâs actually how it looked in real life.
khjalmarj almost 6 years ago
An interesting historical question: did Noahâs three sons precede him off the ship, or did he come off first? Itâs the former, because the Bible says Noah came fourth.
Nuliajuk almost 6 years ago
The bad news is, if they did get picked up theyâd be put on shovelling duty below deck.
BiathlonNut almost 6 years ago
In one part of Genesis it is stated that one animal of each gender boarded, but in another part of Genesis it states that twelve âcleanâ animals (kosher ones?) divided equally by gender and only one pair of âuncleanâ animals boarded. Which was it? Since the kosher animals tend to be very large, this would have huge implications for the feeding and cleanup crew.
DCBakerEsq almost 6 years ago
Princess of the Seas.
HidariMak almost 6 years ago
Iâm not sure if a ride on the âmagical genocide and incestâ boat would have been worth it. After a month, think of the stench below deck. And after a year of the planetâs surface being submerged, with all fresh water contaminated with salt water and no edible plant life, those boat rations are now your only food sources.
Yes, I know itâs fiction. But biblical Fundamentalists claim otherwise, with the $110,000,000 âArk Encounterâ, AKA âArk Parkâ, claiming otherwise. They even claim that dinosaurs were transported on the ark, that it all happened ~4,300 years ago, and that the last of the dinosaurs died around the time of King Arthur.)
sparkle 13 Premium Member almost 6 years ago
THIS would make a good " Twilight Zone"!!!
Honorable Mention In The Banjo Toss Premium Member almost 6 years ago
âQuick â make a sign that says âguide animals only.ââ
the lost wizard almost 6 years ago
Look up in the tree an hope you can see a dove.
Godfreydaniel almost 6 years ago
I canât remember for sure if it was on here (I think it was), but awhile back I posted a comment wondering if thereâd ever been a cartoon mashup between the desert isle gag and the Noahâs Ark gag. And, lo and behold, here one is!
Charlie Tuba almost 6 years ago
Well, itâs not Ken Ham and his ark, because it doesnât float.
erniejpdx almost 6 years ago
If itâs packed to the gunnels with millions of tons of livestock, how does it ride so high in the water? Or is that what makes it a magical mystery ship? Or is this not Noahâs vessel, which was designed as a box, not a ship, according to the instructions in Genesis 6? Think Ark of the Covenant. An arkwright is a person who used to make chests or boxes. Curiouser and curiouser.
anomaly almost 6 years ago
The biblical account of climate change.
Concretionist almost 6 years ago
The bad news is that the ark is full. The other good news is that at least weâve missed the collapse of civilization.
Richard S Russell Premium Member almost 6 years ago
People who are opposed to abortion should spend some time contemplating how many unborn fetuses perished due to the omnicide perpetrated by Yahweh. (Of course, itâs all a myth; there never was any Great Flood. But the fact that TBs completely ignore their own hypocrisy in what they believe was ordained by God is nonetheless fair game for ridicule.)
Redd Panda almost 6 years ago
Sounds as if, Wiley had the intro but no punchline. Bada-Bump.
keenanthelibrarian almost 6 years ago
Iâm sure theyâd fit them in â they are a pair, after all.
danketaz Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Maybe itâs Bonerâs Ark.
bakana almost 6 years ago
Maybe they will get Lucky and Noah is tired of shoveling out the Bottom of that Arc all by himself.
Bicycle Dude almost 6 years ago
âŠand the bad news, it looks like another election season of bragging and badmouthing (from both sides of the isle) on the horizon.