Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 31, 2020

Wishful tweeting.

There is an internet theory that Trump is stupid.

It won’t kill it, but it will help you forget about it for a while

How could a martini kill something created by a beer?

I find lots of good information on the internet. Including some theories that turned out to be true, later. The trick is to recognize BS when you see it.

Can’t you two read? Get yo’ asses home…

What about Mai Tais?

Well, they say that drinking certain things mobilizes the phlegm in your throat and washes the virus out. Maybe Martinis can, too.

And why aren’t they doing what a lot of restaurants are doing, and offer take-out?

A regular martini will not, but an extra dry vodka martini will kill everything. Even you if you overdo it.

Tonic water contains quinine, which is related to hydroxychloroquine. So, Ill be studying whether Gin and Tonic will keep Covid-19 away. Several doses per day should do. I’ll post the results.

We didn’t know that someday it would take a pandemic to finally bring some sense to people who consume that poison (alcohol) on a regular basis

The true cure for the trump virus is bramble root tea!

We could test that theory. But making a martini isn’t hard: do it at home.

I hear drinking red wine prevents covid-19. There’s no scientific evidence for this but I’m not taking any chances

What a terrible, terrible shame. Now, when I’ve managed to split the beer atom …

No shower

No deodorant

No brushing teeth

No using mouth wash

Helps to establish social distancing

♬ All lies and jest,

Still a man hears what he wants to hear

And disregards the rest ♬

It’ll certainly kill the panic.

Sorry, Wiley, but I’ll need to gather more empirical data before I buy into that claim.

People often compare covid-19 to flu death losses of recent years. They seem to think that because current numbers are low, C-19 can’t be as harmful. But some think that this dangerously communicable disease is just getting up to speed and that numbers will increase in weeks to come. Time will tell and we pray none run out of time before a cure is found.

I don’t understand the furor. didn’t EVERYBODY get their little blue and white card in the mail: PRESIDENT TRUMP’S CORONOVIRUS GUIDELINES FOR AMERCA ? I mean. . ./SSSSSS/

I had the same theory except about red wine. I have no scientific proof for it, but I am taking no chances.

We are ALWAYS well-stocked with wine.

Stay safe. I want to be able to read your sarcasm a year from now.

Using a ghost pepper as a suppository will prevent COVID-19.

You can trust me, I’m the internet.

The inter-web is full of wisdom and BS. I find that people usually believe that the stuff they agree with is wisdom and the stuff they disagree with is BS. The rest is cat stuff.

They do if you apply them liberally to all surfaces.

…it’s the olives that do…

It’s tequila that kills it.

Does reading comments on comic strips kill Covid-19?

No, ya gotta gargle with 151 proof alcohol. Rum or Everclear. Don’t do so near an open flame or other ignition source!

I am now going to present the World with a truth …

Once you recover from Covid-19 you have a permanent, lifelong immunity,

Once you recover from Covid-19 you may have a permanent, lifelong immunity,

Once you recover from Covid-19 you have an immunity but it doesn’t last,

Once you recover from Covid-19 you may have some kind of an immunity,

Once you recover from Covid-19 you have no immunity whatsoever,

Nobody will completely recover from Covid-19,

…etc.

There must be a truth in there somewhere!

Martinis don’t work? Now they tell me!

Guess I’ll have to stick to the vodka and tonics – between the quinine in the tonic and the limes. Even if I get Covid-19, I won’t have malaria or scurvy!

Don’t worry Rodney Howard-Browne, pastor of the River megachurch in Tampa, Florida has special equipment to kill viruses. “If somebody walks in the door, it’s like it kills everything on them. If they sneeze, it shoots it down at like 100 mph, it’ll neutralize it in split-seconds,” he said last week in a video posted online by Right Wing Watch. “So we have the most sterile building in, I don’t know, all of America.”.

The ‘Fearless Leader’ of one of the ’Stans, told his people to drink Vodka and take Saunas. Before his mind was changed for him the President of Mexico, AMLO, put his faith and advice on holy medallions, and other trinkets. Then there was Trump. . . . . .

One of the pastors of a church down south told his flock that God would multiply their toilet paper. Its good to know that God keeps up with the need. In ancient times it was Manna, today it is TP.

I had hoped to have killed enough brain cells by now to not care anymore.

Drinking is NOT EVEN as effective as wishful thinking.

I disagree. Hand sanitizer needs to be 70% alcohol to kill the virus. If I drink 140 proof it will sanitize my brain cells so I won’t get the bug. Makes perfect sense. First round is on me as a kind and loving gesture to my fellow man!

It won’t hurt to try drinking martinis or margaritas!

The local craft beer makers have changed over to making hand sanitizer for local charities and first responders. Good people.

Beer doesn’t kill the coronavirus, but after 3 or 4 who gives a damn?

But it does make being stuck at home more tolerable.

It doesn’t?? Damn!! I thought I had the perfect solution.

If gargling with vinegar or mouthwash help, why wouldn’t a good Martini? You can swallow it when you’re done to relieve your stress which will in turn boost your immune system thus helping prevent the disease. At worst, gargle enough Martinis and you won’t care about Covid.

Martini’s don’t kill Covid-19, but it won’t stop me from trying.

Better to be safe than sorry. Make mine a double

It can kill the drinker, if he has enough..

Martinis might not kill the coronavirus, but they’ll a nice way to get through the “Stay Home. Stay Safe.” period we’re all now experiencing.

Won’t kill the virus, but it’ll do a good job on your liver.

This is a heartbreaking development. Has it been tested with rum? Maybe Jameson’s?

Gin and tonics might. They were developed as a more pleasant way to take quinine for malaria, and Chloroquine is a synthetic version of quinine.

Try pot

Getting lots of Fresh Air and Sunshine Does seem to help a lot, though.

This seem to be at least partially because the Sunlight causes the body to produce it’s own Vitamin D which is crucial to keeping the body’s Immune System functioning properly.

I thought everything on the internet was true!

For the ultimate in BS, listen to Donald Trump.

Um, clearly it is gin and tonics we should be drinking.

The gin would have to be 150 proof to be effective against the CoronaVirus.

If you drink ENOUGH martinis it will kill the Coronavirus.