Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for October 29, 2020

Anxiety attack is not overwhelming

aside from parents, that is a good question of what Ben & Bernice have in common

They have glasses in common. ✨

For some reason a lot of people here think that Bernice has a problem. Personally I don’t see it that way. It seems like if you parents drag you to see some distant relative and because they are related you are support have some “connection”. And that’s problem. You meet a stranger and you both are excepting to be treated like a stranger. You meet a relative and you are somehow suppose to treat them like you have known them all your life. It is a very awkward situation.

He’s a perfect stranger to all extent and purposes and she still has trouble meeting him? Meeting strangers is a lot easier than meeting estranged family. Bernice seems to be making a mountain out of a molehill.

He’s your brother – go see him, spend some time, and get to know him and each other…

For someone who acts like she has it altogether, Bern is a basket case.

Well. as an adoptee, sharing the same sibling DNA is not a big deal. When you were raised by a different family, you are in fact a stranger to each other. No shared history. No sense of connection. I know. I met my siblings who were raised by my bio mother (My older brother and I were the oldest two that were given up for adoption) and I could SEE myself in my siblings but that was it. Ok, we look like each other but what else? Nothing. My three siblings had horrible childhoods by our mother. The twins ran away at 12 and lived on streets for a short time before hitchhiking to our grandmother’s house. there they stayed until they finished high school. Grandma was only a little better than our mother. One twin stayed in town, took care of grandma in her golden years and has a family of her own. The other twin enlisted and served a tour before marrying and having her kids of her own also. The youngest lived with our mother the longest and experienced the worst. He finally hit the streets and hitchhiked from California to Virginia and surprised his father (not my bio dad) and his new wife. His wife reacted badly and kicked him out. He lived on streets until he met his wife and started a family. Now he’s divorced and a little messed up. The only sane one in the whole mess is my bio dad. he was the one who decided to give my older brother and me for adoption when my bio mom ran away. I am forever grateful for being given up for adoption. I had a good childhood. I had everything. I finished college. I raised a family and am now a grandmother. I have no complaints. Once I met my siblings, I knew I could never complain again about my life. I met the twins once and never again. Nothing there between us but shared DNA. Never met bio mom – who would want to meet her? I met my bio dad and am still in touch with him. I feel Bernice.

Bern, he is your brother but what do you really know about him besides he married and has two kids. The question is do you really want to get to know your brother until you can answer that question you still have this problem.

Not good to let a situation like this fester. You hurt because you do not know why you are doing this, and your brother hurts because he does not know why you are doing this. Arrange to meet him somewhere – not either of the two houses. That way, there is no family influence or influence from Luann and her family. If things do not work out, you can both part amicably.

Green uniform, green bin, you got LOTS in common!

I am sorry, so far her ‘concerns’ are rather shallow and insignificant. All this angst and it’s nothing.

Want something to worry about?

The wheels are on the opposite side of the handle. Very strange recycle bin.

I’d worry about the homeowner who thinks this is normal.

…and how strong they have to be to move that thing when filled.

I wonder if Bernice will be snarky about Ben’s new look. Either to his face, or behind his back (coughTiffany cough).

They are drawn clearly as resembling each other, clearly brother and sister. None of this either’s fault. Both are connected to the birth parents, her giving up her home to Ben and his stepkidsat her home, where she was raised by them, but he was given up for adoption. I bet the two sets of parents knew each other back in those high school, young adult years, and Ben was entrusted to them, while Bernice coming later was raised by their birth parents, who barely told Bernice she had a big brother. So the birth parents are stiff and rigid? While the adoptive parents are vagabonds? Odd. I think goofball will have a role in getting the two together, at least for her friend, but there is a twice.

I think the important thing to realise here is that Ben doesn’t have a sense of belonging. That happens to a child who grows up as an adopted child. It can also happen to a child who is separated from a parent in infancy and they grow up believing that they only have one parent. It is difficult for the missing parent as well. These are deep-seated issues and often only get resolved in late adult life, if ever. And yes, I do have personal experience of this.

Ben York was raised by the York Family (crazy traveling hippies) and Bernice Halper was raised by a pedantic/ frugal Family. The Halpers had Ben before getting married. Why did Bernice spent her free time with Luann since third grade. This story arc is awkward. Maybe, tomorrow will clear up the storyline.

The third panel is telling. Bernice made the effort before and Ben dropped the ball.

If the thought of her brother brings her that much worry she should do herself a favor and not meet with him.

“And Coming up Next! Emmy winning Oscar the Grouch makes a Surprise “Guest Appearance” as he pops up from the recycle bin! THRILL, as an AGGRAVATED but Eco-Friendly Oscar offers Bernice good old fashioned, meddling, home-spun, unsolicited “counseling” on how to deal estranged family, (for the last time) EXACTLY what type of friggin’ trash goes in these GREEN blankety-blank recycle bins, and groovy, hair styling’ tips, that’ll make Bern the Fetching, Belle of the Ball! So Stay Tuned for a Very Special Halloween edition of LUANN!!”. ;)

Are we about to finally see Bernice’s parents like we did with Tiffany’s dad?

She’s acting like she’s afraid to face an old boyfriend.

The would be counsellor needs a counsellor. Her insecurities are really raging here. First she lost her RA gig, and, moved in with Luann (moving her out of her comfort zone.) Then we find she’s been avoiding connecting with her step bother and nieces and/or nephews. Maybe Bernice should track down her idol Ms. Fogarty (if she hasn’t gone off with her sometime lover, Luann, and company’s high school principal,) and get some advice on how to get past these insecurities.

Good Lord… Does Bernice have the hots for her own brother??

In my experience, “what is wrong with me” is not a helpful way to start self-exploration.

Like Ben doesn’t have a problem here. His birth parents kept Bernice, but dumped Ben like last weeks trash! And considering that, I’m more impressed with how Ben is handling the situation than how Bernice just wants the Ben thing to go away. So she can crawl back into her comfortable cocoon!

Is Bernice facing an existential crisis or is she about to cry?

Blood is thicker than self-doubt. Bernie and Ben will reconcile, soon. ’Cause that’s how this strip works….

Try NOT seeing a sibling for 45 years like I have. After my parents deaths three weeks apart, my younger brother went to live with relatives, left there and has never been seen again. You never appreciate siblings until they are gone.

Poor Bernice. She’s trying to rationalize what she feels. Ben was cruel to stop emailing her. I wonder for how long she has write to him waiting for a reply. But even with that, Ben is important to her, even if he’s practically a stranger. This is why she is afraid of meeting him. Because she might love this stranger even for no reason. Because he makes her same expressions, he laughs like her, he smiles like her, he’s sad like her.

If Bernice were real, she could be sent to see Dr. Phil…to bad!

To present an alternative viewpoint: considering what we know, I think Bernice’s behavior is very apropos towards all humans not just Ben.

@Johnnyrico Only Bernice having romantic “feelings” for her lost brother could explain the degree on internal conflict she’s exhibiting!

This is The Most confusing and infuriating arc since I don’t know when.

While they may not have grown up together, there is still a bond between them. If not, why would she care. Lifelong friendships have started out with much less. Give it a shot. Nothing to lose and a whole lot that could be gained by both….

Well, NOW we see the problem. These two have been thrown together and told Hey you are now brother and sister so you have to love each other. But Berniece, who is an introvert, finds that difficult. Apparently she reached out to Ben online but he chose not to respond so she’s had no chance to get to know him. Imagine how she will feel when she meets him again. The first Ben is still a stranger in her mind and now she has to accept this NEW version all while having not really gotten to know the FIRST one. I do hope someone will be sensitive to this——Ben, her parents, etc. and help her find her way to a relationship with this blood relative who is, essentially, a stranger. Maybe his kids will be the key to all this.

Blood does make make a person be family. Bern got kicked out of her home for a stranger and his two kids. Her mom and dad chose one over the other. Ben and his step children are a stranger to Bern. LuAnn is much more a sister to Bern than Ben is a brother.

By next week, Bernice will realize that she’s attracted to him, and feel conflict of an entirely different kind!

Hmm a family systems therapy arc.

In light of the recent mention of a similar situation in the lives of GnK, maybe she (Karen) is relating some personal feelings after meeting her sister. A difficult situation. I met my half-sister at our father’s funeral. She was a lot older and we did connect a bit before she died of cancer. I kind of understand her thinking.What I don’t understand is when he came home the first time, she was excited, proud and protective of him. Maybe the euphoria of knowing your not an only child and expecting more? And then disappointment when that connection is lost? A real roller coaster ride emotionally.

Bernice is completely self centered. All she thinks about is how things will affect her. If she thought about other people at all, she would care about how Ben and his wife and kids are doing. No wonder she is so miserable.

Ben will be lucky if Bernice does not contact him. She has too many emotional problems and would only be a burden to Ben.

i often wonder if Bernice has anything in common with anyone?

maybe they could compare prescriptions?

So, Bernice is afraid to find out something about herself that is reflected in someone she doesn’t quite know yet. This is an adventure into the Self, and Bernice is comfortable with routine, not surprise and self-discovery.

Ok, I give up. Obviously this subplot made no impression on me whatsoever in 2007. Will someone give me a short paragraph about who Ben is, why he doesn’t live with Bernice, who the hippies were, who Bernice’s parents were/are and why they’re never shown?

Fear of rejection. Forgot Ben didn’t answer emails.

Tomorrow, Ben sits down beside her on curb.

I have a recurring dream in which the kids all decide to start a pirate radio station, which they think feels dangerous because, y’know, pirates. But when they do pull it off, it’s internet-only broadcast, so totally above board. And like The Fuse, forgotten until convenient.

Other than “he stopped sending e-mails,” there was no advancement today.

Some speculate that, as the stranger Ben is to Bernice, especially based on Bernice’s reactions to Luann when Luann was attracted to him, frankly, such speculation isn’t as far fetched as it would seem.

Only the “head” knows they share DNA. The “heart” does not.

That may explain the problems Bernice is having with the return of Ben.

One more thought: I may be missing something, but is Ben taking up one or two rooms at the Halper residence? I keeping hearing that Bernice’s room is for the kids, as if Ben has his own private room.

Given Bernice’s present situation, it would make a lot more sense to double up Ben and the kids until they could develop a better plan moving forward.

Which makes the tears of Bernice coming to Luann’s house even more suspicious.

Other than, it doesn’t make sense, and since when has Luann ever made sense?

She just doesn’t handle Existential well.

Can this tripe get more boring and inane?

Okay, who is delusional here?

The older brother should reach out to the younger sibling. More natural for the older one to be the leader, in a family situation.