Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for April 16, 2021

That would make tree climbing a whole lot easier.

Or sharp fangs.

Which life are you referring to, Calvin?

Is it really the embryo’s fault fault to make you who you are?

Like a sloth.

He just hasn’t tried hard enough yet!

Ow GAD yes. The THINGS WE COULD do if we had opposable toes. Though a lot of that would have to wait until we start living in microgravity.

And the places we could go! Apologies, Dr Seuss.

…and maybe a prehensile tail, while I’m at it.

I have a lot of regrets.

For one thing, I regret not getting more Lego Bionicle sets when they still made them

That’s another tale…tail.

Wow, that’s exactly the thought I got when I was 8!!!

and Hobbes looks confused/surprised

I have one regret too. It’s only one, but that is heavy, I regret it really!!

But, Calvin, were you ever presented that as a choice?

‘Opposable toes? ( ) Yes ( ) No’

Okay, then it might have been chosen by your mother. No wonder that she hasn’t benefitted fom it!!

My one regret when I was 8 wasn’t that, but I regretted that I couldn’t wiggle my ears like the guy on Laurel and Hardy could. I still don’t know how Stan Laurel could wiggle his ears.

Calvin shows a very positive outlook to his life in today’s strip. In some other strips, he is very negative about his life. Bill Watterson has said that Calvin largely reflects his own immature side but his immature side obviously has a positive and a negative side.

Because then you’d be able to do homework with your feet.

One can only have a regret for an action or inaction, so it’s all good for you, Calvin.

Then dad would have got you from the zoo instead of K-Mart.

I’d like a third arm….

Only one, Calvin?

I have prehensile toes. Does that count?

Yes, they do come in handy or is that footsy?

“Regrets, I’ve had a few…”

- Frank Sinatra

He never mentioned opposable toes.

I’m thinking you were but you lost that like you lost the vestigial tail. I’ve seen you monkeying around quite a bit.

It’s just a matter of practice, Calvin.

I wish I had opposable hooves*

No regrets for “the noodle incident”?

Wings.

How about a prehensile tail?

That would be mo.

I think opposable toes would make walking somewhat more difficult.

Now THAT would be great.

You Calvin, now that you mention it…

Opposable toes? They’re called halluces. How would you walk if there were opposable?

Calvin you’re already a Primate, just not a tree swinger.

Unfortunately, his toes were opposed to that idea.

Mostly, I regret not having a prehensile tail.

This is something I still regret at 74. I can pick up small objects with my feet but I can’t touch type or play the saxophone with them. A friend of mine can pick up a tennis ball with his feet.

His Mom and Dad have one regret too. It’s a huge regret.

I’ve been monkeying around with that idea too…

There was a choice? I didn’t see that option on the list.

Wouldn’t that be “opposable market piggies?”