Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 01, 2022

You can press the skip button after Tuesday.

I’d go back to July 1974.

It’s Monday’s fault.

Okay, now THAT’S one I’d be willing to pay for. :-p

Rat is right. With a streaming service, you have choices.

“I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time.’ So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.” —Steven Wright

Vernor Vinge wrote Marooned in Real Time which allowed you to do exactly that.

With that logic, we should be at about March 13, 2027…

I would like to go back and hit some delete keys!

Dear future, now you are here you don’t look so nice as I imagined you’d be. Instead, the dark past suddenly appears a tad brighter.

I’m happy with day by day, no matter how bad or good.

I want a “Pause” button.

How about just going back to bed and not getting out until next week?

Just give me a MUTE button !

Life needs quality controls.

You can skip past boring weeks. Just put yourself into a coma. The medical bills may not be worth it, and doctors are kind of busy right now.

Reminds me of the movie ‘Click’ with Adam Sandler, in which he had a remote control for his life with pause and fast forward buttons, but no rewind button. The consequences were disastrous.

I think many of us would prefer to go backwards. I’d go back to the eighties.

Life’s streaming services are brought to you by Budweiser, Miller, Molson, Seagrams, Four Roses, Heineken, etc.

He could use the same train of thought and send a similar letter to Netflix. Dear Netflix. Substitute the word “Series” for “Week”.

Nah, we’d spend so much time rewinding to watch the ‘good’ parts or fast forwarding through what we think is bad that we would actually forget to just live.

There’s a reason why time-jumping is forbidden. The above comments are only a taste…

I would go back to 2005, back when the world made sense. At least in my book.

you’d find your self at the end of the series in no time at all.

Ok, I’ve got good news for Pastis, I guess. It’s all fast forward when you get past 60.

Pig and Rat represent the ink-stained wretches of social media.

It would also be nice if you could “Save” before doing something stupid.

if I fast-forwarded every time a week started looking bad, I’d have died of old age by now.

Poor PIG! He needs to face reality….

Be careful what you wish for, some dreams have a nasty habit of coming true.

Don’t wish your life away.

I believe there’s an old folk tale about a boy who is givin a sliver spool and every time he pulls some of the spool he skips ahead to what he thinks is the good part of life, but he just ends up skipping his whole life and running out of thread. So the moral I presume is life doesn’t get easier enjoy it while you can trials and all.

This was the premise of the movie “Click”.

I’m still binge watching

I would rewind to the 80s, when Garfield was young and in his prime, Charles Schulz was still alive, and Calvin and Hobbes began its short but great career.

that would be fun, Pig, in one way or another

I’ll tell you one thing I hate about skipping shows. Whenever I’m streaming a series and after several episodes decided I’m no longer interested, the streaming companies pester me constantly to finish it.

There is no life after birth.

If it was, we would get to the end pretty quick….

Skip to my Lou.

No Steve Goodman fans? So obvious!! ♪ “If your life was on video tape, wouldn’t everything be all right? When your head hurts the morning after, you could roll it back to late last night. You could replay all the good parts, and cut out what you don’t like. Oh wouldn’t you be in good shape if your life was on video tape” ♪

Oh, you can do that. Get a big guy really mad at you and he may knock you into the middle of next week! (Hmmm, you may have to be of a certain age to appreciate that one.)

It Was A Very Good Year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydcUaTpiHgQ

You wish, Pig!

Take a shower. Scrap the pen. Use a computer. It won’t make the week any better, but you won’t be so ink-splattered….