Pickles by Brian Crane for February 17, 2022

My father has had this procedure before. Don’t recall him saying that he couldn’t have any solid food three days before the test. Did say had to drink something that would clean him out. Said that was a whole lotta fun.

I only had one daytime day with no food, although there were 2 nights with no solid food. After drinking the special drink, I folded clothes between trips to the bathroom.

It’s not 3 days. She embellished the tale.

“Thank you,” asks Earl, dumbfounded. “You’re welcome,” replies Opal cheerfully.

Actually it is 12 hours. Before

I laughed out loud at this one!

Various docs have various protocols, but lately — in my life — they’ve been merely bad, not so awful as they used to be. None of them have EVER had more than a day of liquid diet, and that was 30 or so years ago. I had one on Tuesday, and the food restrictions were “no nuts or seeds” for a few days, “no NSAIDs” for a few days more than that and “low fiber diet” for the last day followed by 4 liters of narsty tastin’ medsin in two two-liter doses each taken over 2 hours, one before bed, one on the morning of the procedure.

3 days? Are you trying to get out of cooking?

Ahhh, the Atomic Laxative. Good times.

What’s it like to take it? Well, picture the Space Shuttle taking off. That pretty much sums it up.

That’s not how I remember it.

“Thank you for all this torture, dear wife.”

Earl should return the favor.

I had one this summer—no biggie. It went smoothly. However several years ago a different doctor performed this procedure on me and in the middle of it I began to wake up. I could feel that thing inside of me moving around. It creeped me out. When they realized that I was coming to this upped the stuff that made me sleep. That has only happened once and that is enough!

The only good thing about a colonoscopy is the propofol (Milk of amnesia). Best sleep I’ve ever had.

I feel sorry for old Earl…. he’ll lose everything he ever ate since 1963.

Reserve the washroom and stay close to it after drinking that stuff.

Sore butt from the prep stuff!

But she hasn’t mentioned making an appointment for herself. So, Earl, turn about would be fair play.

Make sure your iPad is charged up and buy the Jumbo pack of the good TP. You can thank me later.

Niece’s husband had one last month and didn’t follow the clean out routine completely. Had to take a second one. They also found cancer. He’s just had his first chemo treatment. Cancer is a bitch.

Jeff Foxworthy on his colonoscopy…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN5Xpb4wmz4

So Opal, you made the appointment ON this Tuesday, or FOR this Tuesday? For this sorta thing, ya gotta be clear!

Stop it! Make it stop!

The Anesthesia they use is Propofol. Same stuff that killed mike jackson. Cool, huh?

Next week – KIDNEY STONES – for your morning reading enjoyment!

3 days? That’s not how I remember it.

Getting ready to have them is worse than the procedure.

I was in the operating room and was out but woke briefly to see and Heard a nurse say, “ it’s in”! She intubated me then I was out again. Scary!

I’m so done with this procedure…….

This is hilarious. Funniest cartoon today winner.

False information on days without solid food. One day, not three, without solid food. This sort of bogus information to set up a lame punchline may discourage people from a life-saving procedure.

It might be as close as you get for an ‘adventure’. And an excuse to eat everything in sight when it’s done. Plus, sedation!

“I signed you up for an ultramarathon, Opal. Aren’t you going to thank me?”

How many of you who woke up during the procedure are redheads? Men with only red beards count. We need more anesthesia than most people, and it helps to let the dr’s know ahead of time. I was once told by an anesthesiologist that it was a “myth.” I woke up in the middle of foot surgery, and when I was told I didn’t, I described the fact that when I was first put under, there was a man and a woman doing the anesthesia. I woke up, and they had changed it to two women. I described what they did, and I was no longer told I didn’t wake up. That wasn’t the first time, and probably won’t be the last.

My very first colonoscopy had a 3-day prep. I remember doing the food changes at work for the first two days, and then the “drano” for day 3. Now, my doctor doesn’t do that anymore but they do give me the same amount of “drano” that they give to much larger people. So I have to start earlier in the day and space the drinks out farther. To kill the taste, you can use a straw, and take a hard candy in your mouth – without red dyes – and it does help. It screens cancer. It’s a miserable prep, but it does save lives.

I had one a couple months ago. When I woke up I apologized to the nurse taking care of me. She asked me why I was apologizing. I told her I was sorry she didn’t see my best side that day :-)

Wow! 80 comments about this. The truth is that in countries where the people eat mostly plants there is no colon cancer. Eating meat is the cause of colon cancer. Ditch meat and switch to beans and grains for good health.

The answer is use Cologuard if ok with your doc. And no, I don’t work for them.

Last thought before anesthesiologist put me clear under, “Damn, that thing is cold!” First comment on waking up, “Thought I wasn’t supposed to ‘feel a thing.’”

After my last procedure, the Gastro doc told me I didn’t have to come in anymore, presumably because I was now old enough not to have to worry about colon cancer, which grows very slowly and I’d die of something else before the C could take me away. A mixed blessing, but at least no more haunting the bathroom all night before you ride the roto-rooter.

I’ve had a few but never recall not being able to eat solid foods for 3 days prior. Just nothing but clear liquids after midnight of the night before.

Well Opal it is not you has to schedule colon test it is the Dr. and plus once ordered direction’s no solid foods day before, yet prep work.

Earl will thank her when it is all over….or maybe not?

I never had to stay off solid food.

Both of my parents had colon cancer. Mom died of it. It’s not something I take lightly. I’ve had quite a number of colonoscopies since 1998. The prep has gotten less traumatic over the years. The procedure has always been, watch an anesthesiologist inject something into the IV and wake up in another room.

Just remember there are two things worse than a colonoscopy, a sigmoidoscopy because you are wide awake during the procedure and a barium enema X-ray which is not only extremely painful but is also an extremely humiliating experience.

I see an “I appreciate that.” as far more realistic a reply than any kind of thanks. :-P

She would probably detect his sarcasm if he DID thank her.

Go lightly my @

Hey, anyone want to buy unused extra broth I have?

Choked on that one!! ROFL

Yeah the prelude is no fun at all but the epilogue is pretty enjoyable. That drug cocktail you get is the peaceful I have ever felt.

One would think with today’s technology there would be a less painful way, to a certain area, to cleanse one’s system.

I have one, my second, on Monday. I woke up towards the end of my first one, but didn’t feel anything. Just laid there watching the screen. It thought about saying, “Woof, woof.” “What’s that Lassie? Timmy’s lost in a cave.” But I didn’t.Only have to go without solid food for one day before it.

3 days? My last one was 24 hours.

If this were reversed Opal would be furious at Earl for reminding her.

Unless that’s really how it’s done in their universe, I think she’s conning him about the three days. Not nice, Opal.

Search parameters: Gallagher, colonoscopy. Go..

Anyone seen Billy Connolly’s talk about colonoscopies? Pretty funny. https://vimeo.com/24340828

3 days? No way.