Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 05, 2022

Keep an empty Gatorade™ next to your bed and then it won’t count as a trip to the bathroom.

Two times? I wish it were so!

Urine good shape of it’s only twice a night!

Time for that prostatectomy…

But as that joke goes, do you wake up before you go?

It’s a heck of an experience if you run out of toilet paper.

… and that is between unloading into his Depends.

2 is old for a real rat!

Ahhhhhh midnight until 5:00am. I like to call them the cardo hours and count the laps. p p p p p p

When you got to go, you got to go, numbers are meaningless.

It might be better the number of times you actually get to the bathroom when you go at night

I’m trying to get into a graveyard shift schedule, and where to schedule my meals. I thought I could get away with drinking 8oz of V8 before bed. It doesn’t have much water in it. I was wrong.

I knew it wouldn’t be long before Pastis resorted to toilet humour!

After reading today’s comic, I was bowled over with laughter.

Two times? And he’s ten years younger than I am?

Been there done that.

Isn’t Mr. Pastis Generation X? I don’t think he has standing to complain about being old.

I’m about to turn 50 and I go MAYBE once but normally I sleep the night. (I can’t believe we are discussing bathroom habits on a comic strip comment section).

Tis a good thing to have : Fluid In = Fluid Out … Which means your kidneys are working !

Eh, but me never knews of any old ones who is having bath twice in the night?

the wee hours trips to the loo are one way to confirm that you haven’t made the obituaries yet…

Six- with an interested audience of two cats.

Maybe there is something to having the prostate zapped. Had mine done about 3 years ago and now sleeping thru the night at age 81

Where’s Goat to tell Pig it’s impolite to ask that question? Next he’ll be asking Steph how much he makes! That is, how much money he makes!

You’re still young Pastis. Try two times by 1:00 AM.

It’s not the years honey, it’s the mileage.

Life is not a journey to the grave

With the intention of

Arriving safely in a pretty

And well preserved body,

But rather to skid in broadside,

Thoroughly used up,

Totally worn out,

And loudly proclaiming,

WOW !!!! What a ride!

And how does Rat know that? Ah well, we shouldn’t let reality interfere with our fantasy.

I hate to tell you this, Stephan, but I’m 63, and the number is zero. It waits till morning.

Depends on what I eat.

Twice-a-night? That’s a good night!

I can remember when doing it more than once a night meant something other than going to the bathroom.

lmao good one.

You oughta go when you gotta goCause if you don’t go when you gotta goWhen you go to go You might find out you’ve already gone!

My doctor suggested I not drink anything after 7 pm. I asked her how I was supposed to take the pills she prescribed for “bedtime”.

When I was on Tamsulosin, it was 3-5 times/night. Switched to Alfuzosin, now once per night.

Haha, this is funny!

So Pastis is 2π old.

Cutting back on the evening beers helps a lot.

How many puns a man has said during his lifetime is a great indicator.

Speaking of “two,” isn’t the word “to” missing from Rat’s dialog from P2?

70 years old and I don’t go even once, through out the night.

Thanks a lot,Pastis.According to you I just aged 20 years overnight.

I’m annoyed enough with the one…

This old boy began using a portable urinal … saves a lot of effort.

Wow! I was feeling pretty old, but I never have to get up for that more than once per night and sometimes not even once!! YAAY – I’m young apparently!

If I don’t get up at the first urge, I end up dreaming about searching strange places for a bathroom.

I guess I’m old!

So I had to look his age up, he’s just under 8 months older than me. Unless he lets the number bother him, we’re not that old. Then again, I stopped caring about it a number of years ago.

Only two? He is still young.

Dang, I’m ancient

I should be so lucky.

Failure to divulge your age means either you are too young or too old or you are a woman….

Define number of times you go to the bathroom at night. I already know I’m middle aged, but I’m curious if it’s the number of times you go to the bathroom after you go to bed or period. If period, I’ve been old since my 20s.

Today’s background music: “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham.

You’re REALLY old if you leave words out on a nationally syndicated comic-strip.

Experience should really be about quality not quantity.

At 6 am I pee like a race horse. At 7 am I poop like an elephantAt 8 am I get out of bed.

Nailed it, Rat! We all know that Cartoon-Boy is now middle-aged!

It’s something like eight for my teenage brother.

I’ll take this one as a spoiler of my close future… and I hate spoilers

Are you going through man-o-pause, Pastis?